Harry's Tale
by merick
Summary: Harry Potter and his friends head back to Hogwarts to finish their seventh year, finally. Harry's journal recounts what happens as he tries to put the past behind him and live a normal life; but the appearance of former classmate throws it into disarray
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The train ride from London had been as somber as the crowds at the station. The returning students made eye contact and exchanged conversation by nods and hand gestures more than the gleeful shouts and embraces of the previous years I remembered. Admittedly, I hadn't always made it to Hogwarts on the train but this trip was as far from normal as I had ever seen. Oh, there were still embraces, but they were quiet, and still nervous, and even some fathers had tears in their eyes as they put their children on the train. I wanted to say something; that everyone should be happy, that the Dark Lord was dead, that there was nothing to fear anymore, I should know, I watched him die. But I just didn't get the impression that anything I could say was going to make any difference to the generalized feelings hanging in the air, like a fog.

My name is Harry Potter, I have the unfortunate epithet of 'the boy who lived', and that tag has experienced resurgence in popularity since the battle at Hogwarts. I hesitate to even mention it, I'd like to think that if I give it as little space as possible in this journal that I will not empower the memory of it. And at the root of that is why I started this journal in the first place. I figure that enough lies have been written about me over the last seven years. Not that I think that I'm that important a person, but I got to thinking that someone should record the truth of what happens to me now. And who better? Well, Hermione would probably be a better author, but she has her own life now, and part of me suspects that she, and my best friend Ron, would prefer to be free to live their own lives finally, not ones that are forced to be centered around me. I want to give them that gift, so I'll write it myself. It doesn't have to be good, and I have no illusions that it will be some earth shattering work that changes the world. But it will be the truth, even if it'll be a rough draft of that.

So forgive me if my continuity strays, I'll try to keep things in chronological order, and if I do happen to forget something I'll make sure that it's obviously a flashback sequence; or at least I'll try.

Now, back to the train station. I met up with Ron and Hermione and Ron's sister Ginny, who is my girlfriend. Over the summer we had a lot less time together than we had hoped to have. There was just so much to do cleaning up after the Death Eaters. I wanted to get Grimmauld Place purged of the Black memories. And by that I mean I needed to get everything out of there associated with the Black family; everyone but my Godfather Sirius. Those portraits screamed bloody murder as I hooded them and took them down. I had them shipped to the Ministry, figuring they might have some use for them. It had taken weeks to undo all the wards and hexes on the place, even with help of the Aurors. I had agreed with Arthur and Molly Weasley that it wasn't a safe place for Ginny to be, even though she had more than proved herself a capable witch. I still have a few bruises for my trouble from the booby traps. They weren't thrilled about me doing it either, but they don't have any say over what I do; not that I don't value their opinions, but I'm eighteen now, an adult, and I needed to do this. It was closure, and it was a way to reclaim my life. I'm not sure if Ginny has forgiven me yet. It's hard to tell with everyone being so grave and all.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll have more to write about that later. The four of us got a compartment to ourselves, and I really hoped that once we pulled out of the station that things could go back to being more normal. I sat by the window and looked out at the platform, not seeing anything in particular, waiting for the whistle that would signal our leaving. A shock of white blond hair forced me to focus.

"Well damn." I muttered, which drew Ron's eyes to the same person I was staring at.

"Draco Malfoy? I didn't expect to see him again." Ron seemed as shocked as I did. Of course Hermione had an answer, she always did.

"He didn't get credit for last year, the Ministry refused to certify most of the NEWT level courses since they were being taught by Death Eaters."

"And he had the nerve to come back?" Ron was becoming obviously agitated.

"Apparently so." Hermione looked over at him too. His eyes were cast downwards; there was no one around him, not even his mother. A bellman was helping him get his trunk onboard. As I actually looked at him I could see that he looked awful. His normally pale skin looked more ashen than I'd ever seen it, his hands were hanging limply at his sides. He'd let his hair grow, so that it concealed his face when he wasn't moving. It looked like he'd lost weight; his fingers looked boney when he brushed the hair out of his eyes. All in all he was kind of pitiful; I had to turn away. I didn't want those memories either, and I didn't want him to catch me looking at him. I don't know what car he got onto because the whistle sounded only moments after I turned back to my friends, and we prepared for the lurch of the train out of the station.

Thankfully, things did lighten up a bit on the ride to Hogwarts. The sweets cart came around and we bought some treats for ourselves. A few classmates stopped by to say hi, and once we were free of the adults, we even heard some laughter. It was a great sound; it almost made you think that everything might actually get back to normal.

"So how is the house shaping up?" Ginny's voice sounded interested, with maybe just a hint of sarcasm in it. I guess she was still angry, despite the flowers I sent her to apologize.

"It's getting there. Charlie said he'd stay there to supervise the contractors who are gutting the basement, and the kitchen, while he's working for the Ministry getting the current locations of the local dragons sorted."

"Yeah, I remember Dad talking about all the displaced Magical Creatures after the war. He's had a devil of a time oblivating all the Muggles who have seen dragons and doxies and ghouls wandering about looking for new homes." Ginny finally smiled a bit at that memory; Arthur was a good storyteller.

"I wish I could be helping them." Hermione sighed. Her ambition was to work for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I knew she'd be good at it, but I didn't know if the Ministry was quite ready for Hermione and her ideas about rights for some of these creatures. She'd lost a year of school too, running around with me, looking for Horcruxes. That's why all three of us, or I guess at least four of us if you included Malfoy, were back at Hogwarts this year. Ron and I still wanted to be Aurors, and we needed our NEWTS, I suspected there would be quite a mixed bag of seventh and now eighth year students filling the dorms. I thought Neville and Luna would be back too, both of them had missed out on their exams.

"What did you end up doing with Kreacher?" Hermione continued, pulling me away from my musings. I did that a lot now a days; mused that was, probably all the time spent alone at 12 G. That's what I'm going to call it now, saves me writing it out over and over.

"He's at Hogwarts still. I didn't want him to have to see his home rearranged. I thought it might be too much for him. And he seems happier at Hogwarts, to have some company finally, after being alone for so long." I hadn't given him his freedom yet, but I wasn't about to tell that to Hermione. Part of me had a nervous feeling that I might still need him; I know, after wanting to tell everyone else that the evil was gone, it's a bit hypocritical. But I figured being set free might also distress the poor elf so much that he might do harm to himself. I couldn't have that on my conscience, I had enough there already.

"When do you think things will be done?" Ginny kept up her interested questions. I was happy she was talking to me.

"I'm hoping by Christmas, then I can have everyone over to celebrate." The Burrow was a wonderful home, but it was small. I never wanted to say anything to Molly; she was so house proud, and no-one ever complained about the close quarters at the holidays. But I had this big house now, and there were bedrooms for everyone so no one had to sleep on the floor. Of course having Arthur and Molly there would mean Ginny and I couldn't share a bedroom; which I was sure she wanted. But there was enough space to sneak away if we wanted too, if I wanted too.

Hermione would probably kill me if she read this part, but I'm sure she and Ron have slept together; she's very clever and it wouldn't be hard for her to find someplace private for that. Ginny and I haven't done that yet. We've kissed and all. But that's about it so far.

"That would be really nice. As long as you let Mom have the Kitchen."

"That's why I'm having it redone, just for your Mom."

I remember mostly other small talk on the ride back to school, and only a little anxiety about seeing Draco again. I'd deal with him when I had to, if I had to. I was done worrying about every little thing. This year, for one year, I wanted to enjoy being at Hogwarts, and just be a normal student.

I suppose nothing is ever going to be normal for me, is it?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

If the train ride was a quiet, somber shell of its previous self, the Great Hall was its normal, loud, excited expanse; with a few small exceptions. It was boisterous, and colorful, and packed with happy bodies greeting each other properly as far as I was concerned. Everywhere there were smiles, and an overall aura of pleasure. It seemed that the students of Hogwarts at least, were happy to be home, and hopeful of what was to come. I imagine that being away from their parents and relatives who had no doubt spent the summer looking over their shoulders, and scanning The Prophet for any possible sign of the return of evil, had to be a relief. It was good to be young, and even maybe a little invincible still.

The first years were hiding behind some drapes at the edge of the dais where the professors' table was. I could see Hagrid keeping them all in check; there was no hiding him, my half-giant friend. I wondered at the sense of sending him out to greet the first years this year. A group of eleven year olds, away from home for the first time, filled with the gossip and rumors of what had happened at Hogwarts; they must have been terrified. It seemed like there were less of them this year, and I wondered how many others had been enrolled at Beaux Batons, or were having private tutors.

The raised dais held the solitary stool I remembered, and the rumpled old sorting hat on top of it. Behind it, was the head table, where the professors were making their way to their seats. Pomona Sprout was back, she taught Herbology, and Filius Flitwick who taught Charms, Professor Vector who taught Arthrimancy, and Professor Binns still teaching the History of Magic. I also saw Professor Trelawney, so I guess she decided to come back to teach Divination, and Professor Sinistra to teach Astronomy and Madam Hooch to teach flying, that was a good sign, I figured we'd have Quidditch back for sure when I saw her. Professor Babbling was there to teach Ancient Runes and I saw Mr. Filch poking around the drapes, so he was back too, likely with a whole new army of feline spies, and of course, Madam Pomfry our healer and Miss Pince our librarian. Minerva McGonagall, our Headmistress and transfiguration professor stood, and rapped her wand on the table sharply, which brought everyone to attention. But I noticed that there were still two empty seats on the dais, besides Hagrid's huge one of course, and I wondered who was missing. More about the missing spots later though, because after only a brief welcome to the returning students, the sorting began.

I have to admit to not paying as much attention as I probably should have to the sorting. I recognized some names, Thomas, seems Dean had a younger sister starting this year, and Brown, she had a brother. There was a Dixon, and a St. Clair, names, which were new to me, and a set of twins, last name Patil, two boys who looked a little smug as they approached the stool in turn. Both were sorted to Gryffindor, and just looking at them I got the feeling that the legacy of George and Fred Weasley was about to get a run for its money. Parvati seemed less than pleased that she would have to put up with her brothers in her house.

There weren't many first years sorted into Slytherin, so when a name did come up I paid attention. Pansy's sister I guessed, looking at the girl with the dark eyes and blunt cut hair, who looked down her nose at everyone. She was called Violet; family had a thing for flowers I guess. And when she made her way to the Slytherin table I watched her. I suppose I should have figured that it would be a bit sparse over there, but still it was a bit of a shock. It was about half full, many of the Pureblood families hadn't gotten over the beatings their reputations had taken for being associated with Voldemort. That was part of the reason I had been so surprised to see Malfoy at the station. I figured most of those students were being sent overseas to complete their education. Not that all pureblood families threw their lot in with Voldemort, but a good many of the Slytherin ones did. Again I felt a bit bad looking at them over there. They just didn't seem to have the usual superior swagger at their table, clapping each other on the backs like some exclusive old club. Draco was there, hiding behind his long hair again, drawn up in his cloak like it was a shield. He looked so lonely and miserable, and as much as I hated him, for everything his family had done to me, and to my friends, I felt sorry for him. That was until Ron smacked me so I'd turn around because Professor McGonagall was getting ready to speak again.

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To those who are returning to us after their summer break, it is wonderful to have you here again, and to those who are new to our halls, welcome to our family. Everyone here in this room, students, professors and staff alike are all committed to making your time here fulfilling, valuable, and enjoyable. Just a few announcements before we begin the feast. Quidditch tryouts for the house teams will be next week, please check in your common rooms for your house's time on the pitch. For those of you needing to borrow school brooms, please see Madam Hooch to arrange to borrow one. Mr. Filch wishes me to make an announcement that WWW products used within the castle will be confiscated and the perpetrators dealt with." Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes were popular products on the school grounds, and of particular annoyance to Mr. Filch, the caretaker, who was normally the one left to clean up after the explosions; unless of course you were silly enough to get caught.

"Miss Pince reminds you that the library is a place of quiet study, and if you should need help in finding any resources therein that you should ask for her assistance." – Instead of bumbling around like a fool- I wanted to add in my best impersonation of the straight-laced librarian. I didn't.

"This year's Divination Classes will be separated into two streams, one taught by returning professor Trelawney." Parvati twittered, she loved Sybill's classes, as did Lavender; crystal balls and tea leaves aren't for me, I dropped that class as fast as I could, so did Ron. We used to just make up terrible fates for each other; it was amazing we even passed. "Another returning professor, Firenze, will be teaching the natural divination classes." I knew Hermione had always fancied Firenze, he was pretty good looking for a Centaur, and had helped us out of a number of jams, so I was happy to hear he'd be around.

"Astute students will have noticed that we have two places missing at our table this evening." Astute? Well, I guess I was astute tonight. "Our new Potions professor and our Defense against the Dark Arts Professors will not be joining us until next month." A muttering noise rose up in the hall, Professor McGonagall let it die down before continuing. "Please let me reassure you that everyone will get in enough hours and practice to complete their OWL and NEWT Levels this year. In the interim, before formal classes start, we will be offering tutorials for students to refresh their skills. And one other note, would Messrs Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom and Miss Granger and Miss Parkinson, the older, please see me after the feast. All that being said now, please enjoy." She sat herself down, and immediately the house elves of the castle appeared with trays of savories, and jugs of pumpkin juice, breads, and sauces, and vegetables, everything we were used to seeing on the tables for the start of term feast. I felt a slight tug on my right pant leg, and looked down to find Kreacher at my side with a plate of Yorkshire puddings and gravy, one of my favorite sides. It wasn't so much that he smiled; I don't know if house elves could manage that too well, but he looked, well, happy.

"Welcome back Master." His voice still sounded like gravel, but it didn't have the sinister lilt to it that I was more accustomed to hearing.

"It's very nice to see you again Kreacher." At that I thought there might have been a bit of an upward turn to the corners of his mouth, but I might have been mistaken. He bowed low, and disappeared again. All thoughts of why Minerva McGonagall wanted to see the group of us were temporarily lost as I tucked into my dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

As always, the food was wonderful. I ate till I was stuffed full; it must have looked like I hadn't had a decent meal in days, but I suppose, truth was, I really hadn't. I'd worked at 12G until the night before we had to meet the train, and when I was there I usually just ran out for fast food when I started to get dizzy. It was one throwback to my Muggle upbringing. I did like hamburgers and chips; not that I'd seen a lot of them when I lived with the Dursleys. Maybe that's why I craved them every so often, I'd seen Dudley with them enough times, and me with none. Now, since I was looking after myself, I could have them whenever I wanted. The excitement had worn off though, after three or four days in a row and I was so glad to have proper food again. Maybe when I did leave Hogwarts for good I'd ask Kreacher to come back with me. Maybe he'd be okay with the changes. I guess I could always hire a house elf somewhere? I'd need someone to look after me that way. I'd never learned to cook, and my experience in potions class told me that perhaps mixing things in a pot, with fire involved might not be the safest task for me to engage in.

Students were starting to make their ways out of the hall, first years lining up behind their Prefects, second year and up making their own ways. It seemed like the five of us might as well head over to see the Headmistress, or at least the four of us, since Pansy had already made her way to the head table and was casting not so disguised glances back at our table. Ron shrugged, I responded in kind and we all headed over to join her.

"Thank you very much for staying behind you five." Minerva began, okay, I really don't call her Minerva, but writing Professor McGonagall over and over takes too long, and if I can safely cut corners here and there I will. She continued.

"I was hoping that I might impose upon you five to help out with the tutorials I mentioned before dinner?" She scanned our faces to see if any of us threw up a look a horror right there, apparently no one did so she continued.

"Gentlemen?" She focused herself on Neville, Ron and I. "Since I know you all have a great deal of experience with Defense Against the Dark Arts, and with teaching it, as your success with the DA proves." She was referring to the group we had put together in our fifth year, and which Neville had captained in what was supposed to be our seventh year. We had taught two dozen Hogwarts students to fight against the Dark, covertly, using the Room of Requirement as a classroom. Most of our members stood against Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts. General consensus was that our endeavors had been quite successful. It was a proud memory for me.

"I had hoped that you might offer some refresher courses in the DADA classroom on Monday and Friday evenings for a few hours." The three of us nodded rather dumbly at her. Neville was the first to actually answer audibly, though it wasn't much of an answer, more like a question.

"Are you sure you want us to do that Professor?"

"I can think of no one better than you three."

"Wow." I think Ron imagined that he was saying that in his head, but it slipped out. Minerva smiled.

"Wonderful then, do let me know if you have need of any Boggerts or Pixies or practice dummies then Gentlemen." And she turned to Hermione and Pansy.

"Ladies? In much the same manner I was hoping you would lead some practice in the Potions classroom. Perhaps one of you could be there Tuesdays, and Wednesdays and then alternate Thursdays?"

"Hermione can have all the Thursdays Professor, I don't think I'll be going to two Defense tutorials a week, so I could do Fridays?" She tried to make her words sound sweet, but I could just hear the subtext. 'I don't intend to let a Gryffindor, and certainly not Harry Potter teach me a damn thing.' But she kept a smile on her face for Minerva, and frankly I was glad to have one less old school Slytherin to worry about.

"Well that sounds lovely Pansy. If you two girls wouldn't mind doing a quick inventory of what is left in the classroom after Professors' Slughorn and Snape's classes I will see to replenishing the stock for you."

Minerva's smile was just lovely after that; she seemed genuinely pleased with her plan, and our acceptance of it. I was just pleased that she trusted us, and I knew how good an assignment like that was going to look on my Application for the Ministry. I was surprised at how practical a thought that one was. I guess some of Hermione had finally rubbed off on me.

I was feeling pretty good about myself as we walked back to the Gryffindor tower, pretty good that was until we entered the common room and Ginny spotted me. She came right over.

"So?" She asked, with the same note of sarcasm as when she had asked about the house. "What did McGonagall want?" My heart sank. I wanted to feign an illness and run right for my bed.

"She umm." I tried to swallow my lower lip, "She wanted to ask Neville, Ron and I to do some tutorials." I know the volume of my statement fell off pretty fast and I got a good look at her shoes for most of it.

"Tutorials?" Oh she wasn't letting me off the hook, damn it.

I clenched my jaw, looked her square in the eye and said it, wincing for the blow I expected after I finished.

"She wants us to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts until the new professor arrives." I waited.

"Really?" Oh boy, her tone was clipped and her eyebrows were knitting together.

"It wasn't my idea Ginny." I hated that I had to justify this to her.

"Does everyone think I'm useless around here?" This was not going to get any better any time fast, but at least she was keeping her voice down. "You don't think I'm good enough to clean up your house, McGonagall doesn't think I'm talented enough to teach Defense Against he Dark Arts even though I stood up to the same Death Eaters she did."

"It's not that Ginny." I tried to make it better.

"Oh really? Then what is it Harry?"

I didn't have an answer and I was loath to say something stupid and make it worse.

"Well you'll have to come and help us Ginny, we need four for dueling partners?"

"Well maybe you should just ask Hermione?"

I couldn't tell her that Hermione was doing potions. "I'd prefer it was you Ginny." I was sincere, I didn't want her to be upset, and I wanted to make her feel better.

Ron didn't help at all, wanker. He rushed right over to share his 'good news' didn't catch any of my incredibly obvious hand signals to shut up.

"Isn't it great Ginny, I get to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Hermione is doing Potions." I saw the tears start to well in her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was sad or angry she rushed off so fast, up the steps to the girls' dorms where I couldn't go after her.

"Prat." I elbowed Ron and gave him the dirtiest look I could manage past the sick feeling in my gut. As usually he looked completely oblivious to what he had just done, and I wasn't in the mood to explain it to him. I headed up to my bed, yanked the curtains around it so hard I think I ripped out one ring from the rod and threw myself onto the bed. I nearly crushed the scroll waiting for me there, brushing it instead onto the floor.

It wasn't bloody fair. This was such a good opportunity for me, why couldn't she just be happy for me? Why was I feeling sick and guilty when I hadn't done anything wrong? Was this what it felt like to be in love with someone? 'Cause right then I sure as hell could have done without it. All I could think of was angry things about her, and I didn't want it to be that way for us. Maybe it sounds all stupid and girly, but I'd really pictured us getting married one day. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

She was just angry, I reasoned, she had never liked being left out. Some of that was really charming about her. And even though she'd done a lot of growing up over the last year, she hadn't had to mature like I had, like Hermione and Neville had. I wasn't giving Ron credit for being completely matured yet, and I was still mad at him for being so damned tactless in front of her. She'd calm down by morning, once she got back into the routine of classes.

I leaned down to pick up the scroll; it was my class schedule, same as every other year. Unrolling it I scanned it quickly. All my NEWT classes were there. Transfiguration, Charms, DADA, and Potions. I'd requested to audit Astronomy this year and I saw that was there as well. And now that Firenze was back I thought that I might request to audit his class as well. That would be enough with Quidditch, assuming I made the team this year, and the extra studying I would have to put in to pass my exams. The year was going to be busy, but at least thinking about that let me stop thinking about Ginny for a while. I shucked off my clothes and tossed then across the trunk at the foot of my bed. It had been a bloody long day, the bed was soft, the blood was rushing to my gut from all the food I'd eaten, and I was exhausted. I figured it was okay to fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The first morning of classes was mostly normal, because nothing is ever normal for me; have I said that before? A quick breakfast in the Great Hall, minus the celebratory nature of the previous evening, started everything off. The morning brought Charms first and then Transfiguration for both Ron and I. I had seen Ginny at breakfast, she had seemed so sad to look at her, and she only managed a little smile for me, but at least she was making eye contact. Maybe she was embarrassed at her reactions, maybe she had just spent the night crying and her current state was all her exhausted body could manage? She was surrounded by the other girls her age; who were mostly oblivious to her distress, but dragged her along anyways to join in their excitement over their new courses and new robes. She waved a little wave at me, as she turned right down the hallways where I turned left. I wanted to find some comfort in the gesture, but I didn't.

There wasn't much to Charms class, just review and a whole pile of chapters to read. Transfiguration was much the same, except for the presence of Draco Malfoy, the only Slytherin student to take the NEWT level. He sat at the back, but not directly behind me, which had been his usual perch every other year; so he could torment me. He kind of folded himself into a corner, staring more at his scrolls and quill than anything else, bent over the paper every time I chanced to look back. He was quiet, hidden behind his hair again, and he reminded me a lot of how Snape had looked. I tried to watch Minerva's face as she spoke and scanned the room, to get any clues as her eyes made it over to where he was sitting. It wasn't hard to see the pinched corners of her mouth, and the look of concern that flitted across her lips, at least not for me, not after seven years, not after watching her with the Order.

When that class ended, Ron and I met up with Neville for lunch. We took the time to discuss what lessons we wanted to start with for our first DADA class, and what we might need to do it. We had the feeling that it might be a popular tutorial, and not because of our egos. Neville had Herbology after lunch so he had to run but our next class was supposed to be Potions, so since that wouldn't be starting for another month Ron and I took the opportunity to make our way to the DADA classroom to scope out what we had to work with.

The classroom seemed smaller than I remembered it, or maybe it was just that I was bigger; or my experiences took some of the fiery memories out of the place. All the desks and chairs were still pushed over to the right side wall, and stacked, likely by Filch as he had cleaned up after last year. No new professor had given him orders to restore or rearrange things yet, so I guessed he had just left them be. Likewise, the Professor's lectern at the front of the room had been pushed back against the blackboard; which was still shiny from its spring wash down. I didn't figure we'd be pretentious enough to actually start writing things down on the board for people to copy. Nope, we were here to run dueling practice, that's what everyone was going to want anyways, the chance to challenge and hopefully outwit and outplay their mates. Accio, Alohomora, Expelliarmus, Confundo and of course, Expecto Patronum. We thought we would start with those ones and then see where it got us. We had a month, and by the end I expected that most of the students would certainly be up to speed on how to protect themselves. We were going to leave the more offensive spells to the new professor; whoever that was going to be. I have to admit having a real curiosity about that. I couldn't see why it was going to take a month to get these new professors to Hogwarts, unless they were coming from out of the country, or currently held other positions they couldn't just leave. I also didn't understand why it had to be such a big secret, what was the harm in telling us the names? Unless, of course, they hadn't actually hired anyone, and Minerva was too proud to admit that she hadn't been able to attract qualified applicants in her first official year as Headmistress. Selfishly I was a little worried that whoever was coming wasn't going to be qualified enough to get us to NEWT levels. Ron and I absolutely had to have them to get on with the Aurors. And even our experience in the wars wouldn't hold extra credit when it came to the Ministry tests. I wondered about sending a quick owl to Kingsley to ask if he knew anything, but decided against it. I didn't want to look desperate, or look as if I was going behind Minerva's back. That wouldn't hold me in good stead either when it came to my application. An Auror had to be forthright and honest and trustworthy for his colleagues. I really was starting to think way too much like Hermione.

Having seen Draco in the Transfiguration class I began to wonder if he was going to show up for DADA practice. I had no idea where he planned on going after school, or what profession he planned on pursuing. We'd had our share of scraps in dueling practice before. I wondered if there was any fire left in him at all.

Ron and I wasted what was left of our Potions class time in the DADA classroom, checking out what might have been left in the cupboards, which was virtually nothing, and quite understandable. The Ministry had probably completely sanitized the place after the Death Eaters had been defeated, afraid of what they might have left behind to avenge themselves. That done I headed off to Astronomy class in the tower, and Ron went back to the dorm.

The Astronomy tower was one of the oldest in the Castle complex that was Hogwarts. Getting up to the classroom, which occupied the penultimate floor of the edifice was a grueling walk of some one hundred steps, arranged in a helix form which meant that one shoulder was always brushing against the ancient, well worn rock walls, and the other hanging out over an ever increasing drop to the ground. As so many things seemed to do at Hogwarts, the size of the staircase gave no hint at the expanse of the rooms above. As I have said, at the first landing you reached the circular classroom, filled with the standard assortment of desks, benches, lecterns and blackboards, and walls covered in mystical charts of the signs of the zodiac, and the planets and stars, lines interconnecting them to draw attention to their importance. If one continued upwards you reached an open-air roof or sorts, I guess I should best call it a battlement. There were benches up there for students to lie out upon at night during the lab portion of the class, so they could stare up at the real night sky, and make their charts and track the trends in motion and synchrony. It was roughly protected from the winds by walls of open, arched windows, which allowed a spectacular view of the grounds, and even to Hogsmeade on clear days. And which, could be covered over and made fast by heavy curtains and spells to create a type of upward rising tunnel. On fair days, or rather nights, it was a wonderful place to go and sit, and contemplate the world.

I'm not sure what drew me to Astronomy, maybe all those days in that blasted tent, looking up at the sky, seeing the stars, and waiting for something horrible to descend on us. Maybe if I could have understood more about what those stars and their positions were trying to tell me, I would have been able to avoid some of the trouble I'd gotten into. Maybe I was just looking for some kind of message about what was going to happen to me now. I had found I didn't like 'not' being in control of my own destiny. In fact, it really sucked. Prophecy, more than destiny had controlled my life up until that point, and the way certain people chose to interpret it, to my dismay. Any leg up, even a vague one, had to be better than flying blind. So, here I was in a NEWT level Astronomy class, auditing it though, no assignments, no tests, just listen in and learn whatever would stick. I wished all my classes could have been that relaxed.

At least I thought it was going to be relaxing, until a last set of footsteps could be heard coming up the winding stone staircase. Not loud, or even purposeful in their cadence, they seemed resigned, if a footfall could be called such. And I wasn't half surprised when Draco entered the room and took another seat in the back, along the same row I was in. I don't think he had even looked up or I doubt he would have sat that close to me.

Now why I thought that back then I can't say. I guess I just assumed that he'd still hate me for every imagined slight I had given him and his family and blame me for the misery that had befallen them in the aftermath of the dark times. Since he hadn't said two words to me it really wasn't a fair judgment on my part. Just before Professor Sinistra entered; strange, I hadn't heard her footsteps; Draco actually took a moment to scan the room, and his eyes lit on me, as I was, completely less than tactfully, staring at him. He pursed a sad little smile on his face, nodded just slightly, and turned back to the front of the room where Aurora was using her wand to darken the ceiling of the classroom into an artificial sky-scape. Draco's reaction to me left me feeing vaguely uneasy and I tried not to think about it as I tipped my head, slouching back in my chair to follow the pointer of light that was drawing our attention to certain constellations.

Draco slipped out of class before I had my supplies all put back together and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. But that didn't stop me from wondering about what the hell was going on around me again. Paranoid? Well, you're only really paranoid if they aren't actually out to get you. Think about that one for a while.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Our first DADA tutorial was Friday evening. If I can be honest I was pretty excited about the whole thing. Ginny was speaking to me again in sentences of more than two words, Ron and been bouncing off the walls all day, and, well, then there was Neville. He looked as if he was going to throw up as we opened the doors and saw the crowd of people waiting for us. There must have been fifty students, and not all of them Gryffindors either. Every house was represented, even Slytherin, but not by Draco. I wasn't surprised, I had lumped him in with Pansy who couldn't be bothered learning anything a Gryffindor had to teach.

We tried to organize everyone in rows on the floor, surrounding us to start with; the smallest in the front, the biggest in the back. Parvati's brothers had shown up, she just rolled her eyes as they poked at each other in nervous excitement, waiting for the show to begin.

It was very much like the DA sessions. Ron and Neville and I demonstrated the spells on each other, starting with Expelliarmus, and then Accio, and then we tried to break up the group into pairs, which we lined up, five at a time to have a go. As with the DA, some got it, some knew it, and some were, well, less than stellar that first night. Some even moved on, the seventh/eighth years starting practicing levator spells too. But it was quickly obvious to us that there just wasn't enough space for all that in the small classroom, and at about that point Minerva showed up. I only noticed her because everyone else fell silent suddenly.

"Well good evening Professor." I addressed her from midway down the room where I was showing a third year how to hold his wand overhand for his obviously smaller opponent.

"Good evening students. Please don't let me interrupt your practice." A few of the more confident students went back to their practice, most did not. "You have quite a large group here gentlemen. I had underestimated your popularity. Perhaps it would be best to move the tutorials into the Great Hall?"

If Neville had looked ashen before, now he was positively green. Ron had that ridiculous smile plastered to his face that just screamed 'stupid happy'.

"If you think that would be best Professor." I answered for all of us. I'm sure it was just the opposite of what Neville wanted to hear, but I had plans for him, just to make sure he was comfortable too.

"I will make all the necessary arrangements for Monday then." She turned on her heels; long grey skirts swirling as she did, and walked out of the room with a contented look on her face. She was pleased with us. That made me feel very proud. I went back to teaching the third year Ravenclaw.

My plans for Neville were simple, the first and second years who had shown up were keen, but ill prepared, and I didn't want them to feel self-conscious in front of people who had already been in battle. So when we took a little break from supervising for a moment, I asked Neville how he might feel about keeping them in the DADA classroom for private sessions before they began dueling. He was quite keen on that.

Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to be patronizing to Neville, and he didn't take it that way. I knew he was as capable and talented as the rest of us. I'd seen him in battle, and the image of him leading the charge with Godric's sword is one I will never forget. When he had too, he could muster unbelievable courage and skill. But I knew he wasn't comfortable being the center of attention; I guess I was getting used to it, so I felt more immune to the jeers that could come from failure. I didn't want him to have to go through that, not when it wasn't necessary. So there, I'm not a jerk for sending Neville away with the little ones. Just wanted to clear that up.

So, we finished up with the last of the pairs and expected that most everyone would then head out, it was after nine o'clock, after all, but no one showed any signs of leaving.

"We want to see the Patronus." Came a small voice, one of Parvati's brothers. I later found out his name was Jasmir, his twin was Arvind. The look on her face was one of complete embarrassment. I smiled at her, then at him.

"Okay."

I called over Ginny, who was making eye contact with me again, and then Ron, because I knew they could perform the spell, and Hermione, who had also come for the class, came to the center of the room too.

"If there's anyone else?" I offered. Neville came forward with a little grin on his face, which prompted a big smile from me, and so did Luna Lovegood, who I confess I hadn't noticed because she had cut her wild blond hair down to a short bob, and was wearing normal black school robes. I couldn't help but smile at her as well.

"Everyone?" They nodded and our voices rose.

"Expectro Patronum!"

From the tips of our wands burst forth all manner of animals. My stag raised its head and shook its antlers for the assembly. I loved to see him because it was a connection to my dad. Hermione's otter cavorted in an invisible lake above us, and Ron's terrier ran about in circles. Ginny's horse was by far the biggest of the group, especially beside Luna's hare. I couldn't help but grin my pleasure at Ginny for her accomplishment. But there was one other Patronus I hadn't seen before, Neville's. A wolverine. I loved it. It snarled and snapped at the air, so unlike Neville, but so appropriate. We let them all prance around for a few minutes, and then they dissipated in a shimmering rain to a round of applause. I felt like bowing, but I didn't. I just smiled, and so did most everyone else.

Ginny let me hold her hand as we went back to the common room, we gave the day's password, verdant; not sure where the portrait lady was going with that one. But she opened the hidden passage and we were immediately assaulted; no perhaps assaulted isn't the right word, overwhelmed? in a good way, with the smell of fresh baking, and brewed tea. The inevitable arrival into our common room provided the source. Kreacher was standing in front of a table, loaded down with trays of pastries, and jams and clotted cream, and carafes, of what I assumed were tea. He was staring around at all the other Gryffindor students who were also in the room, eyeing the treats rather hungrily. Not in a mean way mind you, just like a maitre'd at a restaurant, just waiting for the right moment to roll out the dessert tray.

"Ah master, you have returned."

"What's all this Kreacher?"

"Harry Potter taught his first Defense class tonight, Kreacher thought he would be hungry after such work, made him and his friends a table full of snacks." Now I knew there was a smile on the wizened little face.

"Kreacher, how absolutely wonderful of you."

"Now that you are here you must eat Master, so that all of your friends may eat too." Smiles brightened up on a number of faces, I noticed, obviously happy to be included in the feast.

"Thank you very much Kreacher." I reached out and grabbed a croissant, which signaled the others that they too should come forward. "But you should have something too Kreacher."

"But this is not for me Master, it for Harry Potter and his friends." He seemed a little confused.

"But you are my friend too Kreacher. And I insist." His little eyes looked just a trifle misty as reached a hand up over the edge of the table that was too tall for him, and grabbed a raisin bun. With a little nod, he disappeared. I know I have often wondered how the house elves at Hogwarts seemed to get around the anti-apparition spells, a different kind of magic I guess. Hermione gave me a nudge and a smile, presumably for my actions with Kreacher, and helped herself to a muffin.

So that day had been pretty good overall.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

I got up early on Saturday morning. Despite the crowd in the common room the previous night, Ginny and I had managed to have a bit of a conversation, and I had promised that we would take our brooms out after lunch and do a little flying practice, just the two of us. But I knew I also had a lot of review to do for Transfiguration, so I thought if I got up early that I could get in a few hours before lunch, and then I wouldn't feel so guilty taking the afternoon off. There were a few Gryffindors stirring about when I left with my book bag, but not many.

I had decided that I would just go over to the Great Hall and stake out a spot at one of the tables to spread myself out on. I wasn't quite committed enough to studying to go to the library, I wanted to be able to hold a conversation if someone else wandered by without drawing the piercing glares from Miss Pince.

The Great Hall looked a little different than I was used to when I arrived. Instead of the long house tables that had always been there before; except during the dances, the room was set up with dozens of smaller round tables. There was a buffet set out against the far left wall, filled with breakfasty assortments. I liked it. I found out later that Minerva was trying out something a little different for the weekends. She really wanted the students to mingle a bit more, outside of their houses, so she had given them the opportunity. None of the tables bore any specific house color, just white linens, and people were sitting wherever they seemed to want.

As a side note, the experiment took a little while to catch on, but by the end of the year weekends were a big hodge podge of students all over. I think Minerva was pleased with that endeavor as well. Anyways, back to the story.

I wasn't particularly hungry just then, Kreacher had provided very well for us the previous night. All I really wanted was a cup of coffee, which I poured out, adding in some cream and two spoons of sugar. I'd never really appreciated coffee until I starting working on 12G. Then I found it became a bit of a necessity. Fortunately, besides the fast food places within walking distance, there was also a lovely little Muggle coffee shop that brewed fresh pots every twenty minutes or so. I think by the end of August they were getting used to me, because the smiling girl behind the counter starting pouring as soon as I walked in the door. She was my age, her little gold nametag said 'Melody', and she was absolutely normal. It was hard not to look at her and think about how different our lives were. She hadn't spent her seventeenth year running from Death Eaters, not that I was jealous or anything, I just noted the divergence. It made me think a bit about Dudley too, but not much, and certainly not enough for me to want to go by Privet Drive and check in on my cousin, and Aunt and Uncle. I'd had a lifetime full of them already.

Wow, I'm really getting off topic again aren't I? I have noticed that I start to do that when I get nervous. Nervous? Why would you have been nervous just then Harry, you might ask? It'll become apparent as I go on I think.

Mug in hand I looked around the room to find a quiet spot, off in a corner somewhere, maybe not too out of the way, but enough. There was a table in the far left corner, well removed from the business of the buffet, but still close enough to the coffee. Only thing was, someone was already there; Draco.

'Ah well' I thought to myself, 'why not?' The look he had given me back in class crossed my mind again, it seemed as good an invitation as any, so I wandered over.

"Morning Draco, do you mind if I share your table?" What was the worst he could do? Look up and snarl at me to leave? I took my chance.

He did look up, didn't snarl, and actually spoke to me.

"As you wish." His voice wasn't the confident one I remembered, not at all. He sounded the way he looked, resigned. It just didn't seem right. Not that I missed the pompus old Draco one bit, but at least he had been constant, and consistency was a positive thing when you were putting your life back together.

I recognized his pile of books; the same as my own.

"Studying Transfiguration too eh?"

"Yes." His response was softened, also uncharacteristic.

"Why didn't you go to the library?"

He looked up at me, and actually smiled just a little. He pointed at his cup.

"Proximity to the coffee."

I couldn't help but laugh a little at that one, and to my surprise, his smile widened and he laughed for just a moment too. I nodded at him, as he had done for me, and he returned to his books, and I took mine out as well, and picked up where I had left off.

I was deep into the chapter on transfiguring between elemental states when I heard Draco's chair move. He was standing up with his mug in hand.

"Refill?" He asked, holding out his other hand for my mug.

"Umm, sure, thanks."

"How do you take it?"

"Double, double." That meant two cream two sugars, I had learned that from Melody. Draco seemed to know the secret coffee code as well, because he brought it back just right. It seemed like a good spot to take a bit of a break, and enjoy the coffees just then, so I tried out some conversation.

"What other classes are you taking this year Draco? Besides Transfiguration and Astronomy?"

"Well I'll be taking Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Arthrimancy."

"Wow, so we'll have a few classes together."

"That's good I guess." His voice was still so very quiet, almost unnerving in that there seemed to be so little emotion in it. "Are you and Ron still going to be Aurors." He asked. I didn't know that he knew about that.

"I hope so. What about you?"

"I haven't figured it out yet." At that he looked a bit forlorn, and I felt guilty for making him think about it.

"I'm sure something will come to you Draco."

"I guess." His eyes sank back to his books.

I had another sip of coffee, and couldn't think of anything else brilliant to say right then, so I went back to my own studying.

We passed about an hour that way until the noise of a number of voices made us look up, almost in unison. It seemed that the rest of the Gryffindors had finally pulled themselves from their beds. I wasn't sure that I wanted to make eye contact with them just then. I was in a good place with my reviewing, and if I'd just had another hour I'd have been able to get everything done. I guess I should have gone to the library, but as Draco had pointed out, there was no coffee in the library.

On seeing the pack Draco's head sank back into his books, and the hair that he had been tucking around his ears fell forward to obscure him again. He didn't want to be noticed by the group either, and I felt bad when they headed towards our table, having seen me.

"Harry!" Ron called out, waving at me, as if I could have missed him.

"Hi Ron." I stood up and moved away from the table, trying to spare Draco.

I like to think, now looking back after all this time, that my motives were purely to ease Draco's mind, but part of me thinks that time may have clouded my recollection of certain things just a bit. I hope that my motives were altruistic in moving away from the table to greet my friends, and not driven by the anxiety of being seen with Draco Malfoy. I do remember what I said and heard after standing up though, so I think my first recollection was likely the correct one.

"You left early this morning."

"I just wanted to get some studying done, Ginny and I are going to take the brooms out this afternoon," Ginny was just coming up behind her brother to join the conversation.

"Did you want to join us for breakfast Harry?" She asked me.

"I'm still really full from Kreacher's snacks last night, I'll just grab a bit of lunch in another hour or so and meet you back in the common room? I want to try to get another two chapters done."

"You're turning into Hermione, you realize that?" The anxiety bug for NEWT levels hadn't quite caught Ron yet, but he would, so he was more interested in his stomach at that point.

"There are worse things that could happen to a person." Hermione smacked Ron playfully on the back of the head. "If Harry wants to study them leave him be." She winked at me, I don't know why. "Come and get your breakfast Ron."

Ginny was ready to turn and go with Hermione, when she chanced to take a closer look at who I had been sitting with. She leaned over to whisper to me, none too quietly, "Is that Draco Malfoy?" My back was to him, I couldn't judge if he had heard her or not. Ron had certainly heard her.

"Yes?" I felt the need to apologize to her again.

"Why are you studying with him?" She actually asked the question through her teeth.

"Why not, we're both in the same classes?"

"He's the enemy, that's why not." See, I told you I remembered the conversation, I don't think I'll ever forget that comment coming out of Ginny's mouth.

"The war is over Ginny." I responded quietly, wanting to calm what could have turned loud and ugly.

"You know the only reason that he and his Mom aren't in Azkaban along with his Dad is because they recanted their beliefs at the last minute. He tried to kill Dumbledore for god sake Harry." Ron's attitude mirrored Ginny's; and really I couldn't blame them. The Malfoy family had brought so much grief to the Weasley family, and their friends, me included I supposed. Hermione had been tortured in their home, and no one had raised a finger or true objection to the actions of Voldemort back then. I drew in very close to my three friends right then, and whispered to them.

"None of us really know what happened to Draco. And I am tired of drawing sides for everything. It's a new year, I just want to put everything behind me, and start living my life for me."

"Maybe it's an opportunity for all of us to make better choices?" Ginny's voice certainly wasn't quiet then, she meant for Draco to hear every word. And it wasn't a kindly statement. My stomach began to knot up.

"Don't you think everyone deserves a second chance Ginny?"

She glared at him, I didn't turn to see.

"I don't know if I do believe that Harry." And she walked off to get herself something to eat. Ron followed, looking at me as if I was mad, but I knew he'd forget about the whole thing soon enough. Ron was certainly consistent for things like that. I was a little surprised that Hermione hadn't said anything during the exchange. She had kind of a pitying look on her face as she glanced between Draco, and myself but I didn't know if it was for him or me. She followed Ron to breakfast and I turned back to my table and my books. Draco was still sitting there, but he was terribly still, like a prey animal waiting for the predatory pounce. I tried to go on as if nothing had happened, flipping a page and refreshing the ink in my quill by scratching it on a spare corner of parchment.

Draco didn't look up, but he spoke to me. "Thanks." Back to the same quiet voice, as if he really didn't intend for anyone to hear him, maybe not even me.

"You're welcome Draco."

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Stand up for me with your friends."

"I think they were out of line."

"But certainly not in the minority around here. Most of the Slytherins won't even talk to me. The wounds are still too fresh."

"I'm sure things will ease up."

"Well, at least one of us is then. But don't go ruining your reputation for me Harry."

I wanted to laugh again. I had a reputation to protect? Well that would have been a first. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. A very wise man said that once." Of course I meant Dumbledore, and he wasn't talking to me, but it still resonated. I was at the point where I was choosing what kind of person I was going to be; not that I realized it then. But I knew, somewhere inside me, that I was going to be judged by how I treated others, and even though I didn't know Draco's whole story just then, I knew enough to make the choices I did, somehow.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

You know, I hate feeling like I have to apologize when I'm just following my principles, or doing what I think is right. I hate getting that queasy feeling in my gut that makes me doubt myself. And I hate that I end up doubting myself based on other people's reactions.

I met up with Ginny in the common room just as I said I was going to and we headed outside with our brooms. The sky was a deep grey and the air smelled damp, like the must that tells you rain is about somewhere, but I'd flown in much worse than rain, and at least this time no one was trying to take my head off. The thing about flying on a broom is, it's not all that easy and you really have to concentrate on what you are doing or you'll find yourself upside down or flying straight into an obstacle. So it was really nice for me to be able to leave that queasy feeling behind, and all the worries about studying, and Draco and 12G, and just kick off into the air for a proper run around the sky. It felt good to be that free again. Ginny had had the summer to practice her technique, but I had been so busy at 12G I hadn't been out except the few weekends I'd gone back to visit everyone at the Burrow. My rustiness showed in those first few laps around the castle; but then it started coming back.

I have to be honest in saying that I took to the broom rather quickly in my first year. It was kind of like an innate sense of knowing how to maneuver. I was lucky; I knew that, some people never got the hang of it; like Hermione. She flew when she absolutely had to, and preferably by Thestral not broom.

Ginny was flying ahead of me, darting back and forth and testing out her broom, I'd sent her a new one at the end of August, knowing she'd prefer that to using George's hand me down one. She was beautiful to watch. Her cloak flew out from behind her as she gained speed, and her red hair swirled around her head like a halo. She held her back straight over the broom, and had looped her legs under it like a dancer, shifting her weight gracefully with her hips to turn to and fro. She was a vision in gold and scarlet and I loved to watch her.

She circled around to come up beside me as I was drifting along slowly.

"Why don't you see if you can catch me?" She asked, with a playful smile on her face. I loved that smile.

"What do I get if I do?" I asked her, wanting to play her game.

"Oh, I'll make it worth your while Harry." And with that she was off.

I have to give her credit, she was fast, though not as fast as me, and she was nimble, and that was where she had me beat. She was a lithe girl, and was able to make sharper corners than me, and she delighted in proving her skill by heading straight out toward the whomping willow on the other side of the property. It had finally and permanently been divested of its predatory instincts when the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack had been filled in after the folks of Hogsmeade burned it to the ground one beautiful summer evening. I remembered the bonfire; George had insisted we all come out; not only to see his new shop, but also to put some closure on that part of our lives. It had been a good party as I recalled, and the townsfolk, especially Rosemerta had been quite liberal with the firewhisky and the ale.

Even though the tree itself was no longer dangerous, its branches and massive trunk made for a challenging obstacle course, and Ginny, being smaller than I, flew into the tangle of limbs as if they were intangible. I knew I wasn't going to be able to follow her into the heart of the thing so I flew straight up, and waited for her to emerge so that I could pull one of my seeker dives and cut her off.

I didn't have to wait long, as she tore out like a shot, close to the place where she had gone in, likely expecting that I was caught in the web somewhere. It helped that she was wearing her Quidditch uniform; it made it much easier to see her as I began my dive. She must have heard me because she looked up, but not fast enough to pull away as I swooped in almost on top of her, and with outstretched arms, steering only with my knees I swept her off her broom and into my embrace. Before she could think to whack me with the broom she still held I kissed her hard on the mouth, remembering and loving the way it felt. She kissed me back, and I let us hover there for a few minutes; as I said, it was so easy to forget about everything else when you were in the air.

I slowly let us spiral to the ground as I felt the raindrops begin to fall, and we took shelter underneath the whomping willow as the skies opened forth. The leaves on the tree echoed the pelting rain, and the branches trembled under its force, but we sat, sheltered from all but a few drops, listening to the storm and watching the grey sheets pass by. I kept Ginny wrapped up in my arms, her back to my front, and enjoyed the closeness of her, and the way her hair smelled; right then everything seemed so peaceful.

After a few minutes she turned herself in my grasp to face me, and smiling, began to kiss me. She was so beautiful just then. I let her grind her lips against mine, and then part them with her tongue, and I tasted her, reciprocating the force. She slid about to straddle me as I sat, with my back against the tree trunk, and drew her arms down my sides to my hips where she proceeded to begin to grind herself against me, all the while still kissing me, trailing her mouth away from mine, and down onto my neck. The way she was moving her hips against me had begun to stir my passions; hers weren't difficult to ascertain, especially as she brought my hands to her uniform front, encouraging me to pull it off of her.

You may think that I must have been crazy at that point to stop her, but I had to.

"Ginny? Please, stop."

"Why Harry?" She continued kissing me, and was now moving her hands to my waistband.

"Not like this Ginny."

She stopped.

"What's wrong Harry?"

"I can't do this, not here."

"Why not? Don't you want to be with me?"

"Of course I do Ginny, but not like this, not outside, not in the wet leaves."

"But we get so little time alone Harry."

"You're worth more than this to me Ginny. I want the first time we're together like that to be perfect. I want a soft bed, and some candles and music; not a quick roll in the grass. I want to make love with you." I tried to speak slowly so she wouldn't hear my nervousness.

"But I don't mind it here, I just want to be with you."

"I know, but I don't want you to regret anything we have together. We both have enough regrets to color our memories."

She didn't have an answer for that, and I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach again. I didn't want to just take it out and pull her onto me in the woods, just for the sake of an orgasm. I was serious, about her, about doing things right, but I know she didn't see it that way. To her it felt just like rejection, and she reacted to those feelings.

"You don't really want to be with me do you Harry?"

"Of course I do Ginny, you just don't understand."

"You're right Harry, I don't understand. I don't know what's going on with you all of a sudden. It was just fine for you to be with Cho."

She thought I'd slept with Cho? "Ginny, I've never been with anyone that way." I had thought she had known me better than that. She looked at me sideways.

"But I thought?"

"No Ginny, that's why I want this to be special, I'm not just looking for sex from you. I want so much more."

"I really don't understand you Harry." She stood up and grabbed her broom, even though the rain was still pouring.

"Ginny, just wait, please."

She turned back to me. "I offer myself to you and you say no, you spend most of your summer away from all of us, by yourself in that house, you're hanging around Draco Malfoy, and even defending him against your friends. Who do you really want to be with?"

"I'm not choosing sides Ginny." I know my voice sounded desperate then. "I just want to put all the ugliness behind us."

"Maybe I'm not ready to forgive just yet Harry, maybe I'm not as noble as you."

"Ginny, stop." I reached for her.

"You should still be angry Harry, angry for everything you lost; everything we all lost."

"I don't want to be angry anymore Ginny. I just want to love you and make a life for us, the right way."

There were tears in her eyes as I spoke; I hated seeing them.

"I don't know what to do Harry." She rushed out into the rain. I thought I should go after her, apologize, but I just didn't know what for. Wasn't it better, me wanting to treat her like a lady and not a cheap fling? I felt queasy, but I got up anyways and followed her back to the castle at a run. I caught up with her at the main doors, and there, the rain soaking through our cloaks and running down our faces, I kissed her again, with all the emotion I had in me. Maybe she sensed the desperation, or the hurt, but she offered me nothing in return and ran inside, presumably to the dorms.

I didn't see her for the rest of the weekend.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Thankfully Ron was always Ron, and my studying with Draco, and the words I had said in the Great Hall didn't seem to have bothered him at all. I don't think I can say the same for Hermione, more about that later, and definitely not for Ginny. My constant Ron corralled Neville and I Sunday afternoon to talk about what we were doing for our next DADA class.

Minerva had secured the Great Hall for us, and Ron had an idea. He wanted to divide the older group in two; Neville was still pleased with having the younger group in the classroom. He was going to work on the Riddikulus Charm with them, he had already asked about acquiring a Boggart for the class. Ron thought that he would like to have his group; mostly the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, set up traps for my group, apparently the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, to find and deactivate. His rationale was that the good defense required a good offense, and spells to protect yourself or your possessions would fall under the DADA hospices, and being able to detect such spells and deal with them was also DADA material. I agreed completely. He proposed that we'd switch it up for Friday and his group would become the seekers. He was so excited, and set about spreading the news quickly so that people would start brushing up on their curses and counter curses to be ready for Monday evening. I sat back in our common room, where we'd had our conversation, as he ran off to find and tell the house prefects about the game. It was hard not to think about how the Weasley family, at least the ones at Hogwarts, all seemed to have a need to compete, especially with me for some reason. I didn't think it was particularly sinister, and dismissed it as just part of growing up in a large family where you competed for everything.

It dawned on me, after talking about our DADA class, that I had neglected to ask Hermione how her first week of Potions classes had gone. I had to admit I hadn't made it to her Tuesday or Thursday class, but I was definitely going to this coming week. Potions had been hard for me, though I blamed a lot of that on the professor, and I knew I could do the job when I had to. But still, I needed to get my NEWT's there, and if anyone was going to catch me up it was going to be Hermione. After all, she'd got me through my OWL's, Ron too. I figured I had better find her and apologize for my oversight. Neville believed that he had seen her going to the Library after lunch, which would have been the first place I would have checked anyways, so I excused myself and went to find her.

The doors to the library were charmed so as to be silent, so no one looked up when I walked in, I had long ago learned how to tread very quietly when I had to, and in that place I had to. I did manage to find Hermione, at one of the far desks, surrounded by scrolls and quills. It too was a comforting sight, because she was still my Hermione, just as she had always been, and I really believed that she would always be on my side, and forgive whatever mistakes I had made, just like always.

I made just a tiny little noise so that she would look up, and smiled at her when she did. Using hand signals I asked her to come outside with me. She glanced over all her papers first, tapped at the stack with her wand, presumably to keep it in order, and then followed me out to the hall.

"Can I buy you a coffee Hermione?"

"Another Muggle expression Harry?" She didn't seem upset by it, it was sort of a matter of fact statement. But yet I felt that ever present need to apologize.

"Sorry." She shook her head at me, and tried to smile, I knew something was wrong, and I thought that maybe it had more to do than missing her Potions class.

We went to the Great Hall and got a coffee, well, she got a tea, and we sat down at the reassembled house tables.

"What's up Harry?"

"I just thought we hadn't talked for a while, and I wanted to ask how your classes went this week. I'm sorry I didn't make it, but I'm going to be there this Tuesday for sure." It was a mouthful, but I suddenly felt very anxious around her.

"They went okay, thanks for asking; mostly third and fourth years, worried about their OWL's. But it was fun."

"I bet you made a great professor."

She smiled a little shyly at me.

"Thanks. It'll be nice to see you there this week, I'll make sure to have something fun to work on. Maybe an antidote for the triple W potions." She was referring to all the pranks and potions for sale at George's shop, newly opened in Hogsmeade, and sure to be a popular stop for the students.

"A great idea, I'm sure Professor McGonagall would appreciate any help she could get in that department."

"But that isn't the reason you wanted to talk to me is it Harry?" Damn, she was too astute.

"No, not really."

"You wanted to ask me about Ginny?" I hadn't, but it seemed like a good opportunity. "She's mad at you."

"I gathered as much."

"What did you do to her?" Now that bothered me, why did Hermione assume that I was the one who had made the mistake?

"It's more what I didn't do, I think."

"You were gone for a long time this summer." Hermione had been staying with the Weasley's, since her parents were still in Australia. "She missed you an awful lot."

"I know, but I just had to get some things done by myself, to start moving past the war, and all the trouble." Her expression softened into something more like what I was used to seeing on my friend's face.

"She was looking forward to putting things behind herself too, and every time you left the Burrow, heading back to the house without her she felt abandoned."

I sighed. "I couldn't take her with me Hermione, she's under age, her parents would never have agreed to it."

"But you could have taken Ron and I along too. Molly and Arthur would have let her come then."

"I just didn't want you guys to have to relive it all again; the order, the people we lived with in that house, the people we lost."

"You thought you should deal with it all yourself?"

"I just wanted to take that burden away from you guys; you're my friends, my best friends, and I love Ginny, how could I put you through that?"

"And you are our friend too Harry, we wanted to be there for you, but you kind of isolated yourself."

"I never even thought about it that way Hermione, I didn't do it out of malice."

"I know Harry, but Ginny doesn't see it the same. She thought coming back to school would mean you would have time together finally, and then to find you with Draco. Well, that was hard to see."

"You really didn't like seeing it either, did you Hermione?"

"No, I didn't. We nearly died in his house Harry." I didn't need her words to remember the scene of Bellatrix torturing Hermione, or how strong she had been to resist. It still made me feel cold. "I can't forgive him."

"Can you forgive me?"

"That goes without saying Harry. And in time, perhaps I will come to see something good about Draco. I don't want to be ruled by hate any more than you do Harry."

"He's just so defeated Hermione."

"That may be so, but I still can't trust him, and I don't know if you should either."

"I just want to move on with my life."

"Just don't move away from us Harry, we're your family."

I reached out a hand to squeeze hers, needing to make that physical connection to her, to assure myself that I wasn't losing her like I thought I was losing Ginny. I hadn't meant to make so many mistakes in trying to put my life back together, but it appeared that I had, and at that moment I had no idea about what I was going to do about fixing them.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello everyone, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I have a favor to ask of you. The Traffic counter hasn't been working for me since last week, and I would like to know if anyone is still reading this, since the last three chapters are showing up as zeros. If you do read it, could you click on the review button? You don't have to write anything; just a yeah or neigh, or an emoticon. Let me know you're out there while our IT gods fix up the forum.

Thanks,

Merick

Chapter Nine

Ron's group had assembled an hour before dinner, so they would have time to discuss their traps, which left me that time to wait in the deserted dorm, I left them the common room for their discussion, and I'm sure they had spies posted to check for extendable ears and the like. I had no desire to spy on them, or even give the impression. It seemed all the Gryffindors were gone to join in the fun. It was a little hard for me to believe that they had all chosen Ron's side over mine, but I hoped perhaps that I was over thinking the situation, and that they had all just simply sided with their house, and the chance to compete against Slytherin. I guess I felt vulnerable after the talk with Hermione. She had pointed out that I had been isolating myself, and I wondered if others had seen that, and were reacting to it as well. I hated self-doubt, I still do, and that had been a rough twenty-four hours for my psyche.

While I was laying there on my bed, waiting to grab some dinner and meet up with my group I went over everything I had done that day, trying to see it through the eyes of my friends, trying to sort out if I had compounded my mistakes. I wanted to believe that I hadn't, but the night was still young.

Charms was Charms, Ron and I sat in the back, taking notes and following the Professor's train of thought as we went over the chapters he had assigned for review. I felt pretty good about myself, and the extra hours I had put in over the weekend reading and re-reading. We went from there to Transfiguration, where I noticed Draco in the back, but didn't try to make eye contact or anything. I just followed Ron closer to the front of the class and focused on Minerva as we worked through transfiguring states of matter, just the thing Draco and I had been studying in the Great Hall. I felt good that I could keep up with the task at hand, transfiguring water to ice to steam. But I wanted to look back and check in on Draco, to see if he was okay.

I had lunch with everyone; that being Ron and Hermione and Ginny, and the table around us was buzzing about the night's activities; to a degree, because no one wanted to give away any of their secrets in so public a venue as the Great Hall. It was nice to see everyone so animated. I wanted to talk to Ginny, at least casually, but she had a look on her face, with half a grin, and her eyes sort of scrunched up, and everything she seemed to say to me came out like a challenge. Not in a wholly bad way, but like she was looking forward to besting me that evening in the DADA class. I couldn't quite call it a good-natured look though.

I headed off to Astronomy feeling a little heavy hearted, and as a result arrived just before Professor Sinistra descended the stairs from the upper observatory; that explained why I hadn't heard her footsteps on the winding staircase before the first class. I grabbed a seat at the back; because I was auditing I didn't feel right about sitting up at the front, or even asking questions really. Draco was already there, in the same spot as before. I held up a hand in a silent wave, he acknowledged it, but the Professor was beginning her lesson and I didn't want to interrupt. I tried to focus on her, she was beginning a discussion of the fall night sky, and explaining that she would begin opening the tower for us that week, after nine pm, but that if we wanted to be up there we had to let our Head of Houses know, because we might be coming back past curfew.

I took some notes this time, when the lights were high enough to do it, and chanced to glance over at Draco a few times; I felt bad for ignoring him that morning. Seems I felt bad about everything all of a sudden.

When class ended I packed up my things and determined to settle my concern about Draco by actually talking to him. Much as I hate to admit it, it helped that none of my other friends were there to observe it. I rose from my chair and went around to where Draco was packing up, I put out a hand to touch him on the arm, but as I did he jumped, visibly, as if my touch had burned him or something.

"Oh Draco, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He had not looked at me angrily, but more fearfully and that worried me, and was one of the things that kept circling around in my head as I lay on my bed waiting for Ron to leave the common room.

"It's okay." But his head was downcast as he spoke, and it didn't seem okay.

"I was just going to ask you if you were coming out to the DADA class tonight in the Great Hall?"

"I don't think so." He was paying more attention to packing his books at that moment than me.

"I could, I could use your help." I don't know why I stuttered, but at that he looked up at me.

"My help?"

"Ron's turned it into a competition."

"So I heard."

"I haven't had much of a chance to work with the Slytherins and the Hufflepuffs."

"I suppose not." Most of them hadn't been part of the Battle of Hogwarts, and everything else I'd been through, fighting wise and all, had either been with my Gryffindor friends or the Order. Not that I thought any less of their talents. Cedric Diggory had been in Hufflepuff, and he had been one of the most intelligent students I had ever had the privilege of working with. It would have been great if he had been around on my team. I hadn't known him too well, mostly just our time together during the Tri-wizard tournament, and of course the help his spirit had given me when I faced Voldemort for the last time. I like to believe that he and I would have been good friends had fate, and Pettigrew not destroyed that chance. He would have understood why I needed to put everything behind me; maybe it would have been a good thing to work with some more Hufflepuffs, they were always intuitive like that. But again, I digress.

"I need someone else in my corner Draco." I didn't mean it to sound as needy as it did, and I wished after I had said it, that I could have taken it back. Draco took it a different way entirely though.

"So you thought someone with experience casting dark spells would be a good ally? Is that why you came to me Harry?" He was keeping his voice low, and everyone else, expect the Professor had already left the classroom.

It took me a minute to compose myself to respond to him.

"That's not it at all Draco."

"Really?" His voice carried some of the sarcastic lilt I was more used to hearing from him.

"Really. You're a quick thinker; I remember our dueling classes together. And you are powerful. And you know what," I gained some courage from somewhere, "Voldemort showed you some of his most evil spells, just as he showed me." I left it at that for some reason. "I haven't had the time to work with a proper team for tonight, not like before."

"When you had your friends around you."

"I'll give you that one Draco, Ron and Hermione and Ginny and I worked well together because we'd been doing it for so long." I looked right into his eyes. "You and I know each other just as well, though maybe we came about it as adversaries. I'm asking for your help. You can say no if you want, but I hope you won't."

He looked at me, and I could see his expression lift just a little, a curve to the side of his mouth, and his lips pursed together. Even those pale blue eyes seemed to have a bit more of a sparkle all of a sudden.

"Fine, if it means a chance to beat Weasley. But we had better win Potter."

"I'll do everything I can."

"I'll do better. See if you can round up any of the seventh year Hufflepuffs who don't have a class now, I'll see who I can find of the Slytherin, we'll meet in the Room of Requirement in ten minutes and practice till next period." I liked the grin that was crawling over his face, and I liked his idea, so I held out my hand to him to seal our deal. He took it, shook it, and ran off down the stairs. I was about to follow when the Professor called my name from the front of the room.

"Harry?"

"Yes Professor?"

"What you did back there was a very good thing."

"Thank you Professor."

"Your maturity never ceases to amaze me."

I think I must have blushed a little at that one.

"I'll send a message to Pomona to bring the seventh year Hufflepuffs to your practice, and I'll send the Slytherins myself." She was the new head of house for Slytherin.

"Thank you professor, thank you very much."

"You do us all proud Harry." She cast a patronus just as I was leaving the tower; it streaked past me at the door and up the stairs, presumably out the windows in the observatory to find Professor Sprout. "Oh and Harry," she called to me, as an after thought. "I think you should challenge the NEWT level in my course as well. I will give you whatever extra help you need to catch up to the others."

For the first time in the last few days I felt really good about myself as I ran down the stairs and headed for the Room of Requirement. It was a good feeling, and one I was going to be able to keep for a good portion of the evening.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello everyone, me again. Thanks for the reviews, as always I hope you're enjoying the story. I still haven't gotten my traffic tabs fixed so it's great to know you are out there. Today's chapter is setting the stage for some fun. Keep posted.

Thanks,

Merick

Chapter ten

Professor Sinistra had been true to her word and twenty students arrived at the Room of Requirement shortly after I did, Draco included. It was a good mix, with just slightly more Hufflepuff than Slytherin present. I turned to the door and requested a practice dueling room, like the one we had used for the DA and when we pushed open the door, that was what we had.

Without going into great boring detail; what Dumbledore would have called 'making a long story longer', I'll just say that for about forty minutes we practiced the Protego shield charms and Salvio Hexa, revelation spells like Specialis Revelio, Riddikulus; because I had this idea that if one boggart had been requested, there were likely more available, and we worked on some spells to disarm traps like Waddiwasi and Finite Incantatem. With about ten minutes to spare we ended our practice because many of us had to go off to other classes. Most everyone left with a confident smile on their faces; some more confident than others, we were all to meet up again outside the Great Hall after dinner to talk through our strategy while Ron's team set their traps.

It felt good being back in that room, configured as it was. When it had been torn apart by the fiend fyre it had seemed an unfriendly, dangerous place, truly the stuff of nightmares. But now it evoked memories of the DA practices, not so much the gut wrenching anxiety that had always been at their core; but the passion and pleasure of teaching and learning the spells, knowing our purpose. I was a little lost in it, and that surprised me when I reflected back on it. But I suppose that I still wanted to be an Auror for just the same reason as those feelings came back positively. It was a purpose, a good purpose, and it did feel good to have a direction. I hardly noticed that Draco was still in the room as I stared at the walls, and the portrait over the fireplace. He must have thought I looked like some kind of moony dreamer.

"Ah Harry?" He was back to the quiet voice. During the class he had been more animated than I was used to seeing him, if I can say that less than two weeks was adequate to assess someone's state of being.

"Yeah Draco?"

"You mind if I ask you a question?"

"No. I'll try to answer, if I can."

"How is Hermione doing?"

I had not expected that question at all.

"Fine I guess." I know I stammered that response as well. "She's always happiest when she can have her nose in a book, and she's really enjoying doing the Potions tutorials."

"That isn't quite what I meant." He wasn't short in his redirection of the question, quite the opposite. He seemed genuinely concerned. "I meant after what happened at the Manor." He obviously couldn't bring himself to say; after she was tortured by my psycho aunt in my living room. I couldn't blame him. I understood then.

"We talked about it a bit over the summer. I think she's dealt with it pretty well."

"I suppose it helped that Bella is dead." Whoa, something else I never thought I'd hear Draco Malfoy say. He must have seen the surprise in my expression because he put a sad little smile on his face as he continued talking.

"It's okay Harry, she wasn't a good person, or a nice person, not even to members of her own family." He sighed, and I knew there was more behind that statement that he wasn't ready to reveal. "I can't say I'm unhappy that she's gone, finally now."

"Wow Draco, I'm sorry, I guess?" The words were stuttering out on their own without true input from my brain at that point. Do you say 'I'm sorry' when someone you hate dies? Or do you offer congratulations? I still don't think I know the correct answer to that question.

"Do you think that she'll ever forgive me?" At that point in the conversation it was all ethereal to me, I should have looked around to make sure I was on the same plane I'd started out on that morning, or pinched myself to wake up.

"There's nothing about that, that she needs to forgive you for Draco. You didn't torture her."

"It was in my house."

"And not your fault."

"The Weasleys think that I am at fault for everything that happened there."

I wanted to say 'no they don't' but I don't think that would have been the truth, not for all of them. I settled for, "It will pass Draco. The wounds will heal, and we will all move on."

"I thought at least Hermione might forgive me someday, she's always been very sensible and open minded. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to her, even just a little bit."

"Do you want me to tell her that you were asking after her?" I offered.

"No, I think whatever it is I do, I had better do it myself. It will make it more sincere."

He screwed on that sad little smile again and nodded at me, and then headed off, leaving me to ponder why he was suddenly concerned with Hermione. Or maybe it was that he was suddenly concerned with all of us?

Laying on my bed, not listening to Ron in the common room, I wondered if I hadn't said too much about Hermione, if I had somehow broken her trust. There really wasn't anything I could do about it now. Draco Malfoy was on some kind of a journey, and I thought just then, that perhaps I had somehow joined him, if I hadn't actually been there all along.

Nobody much talked to me at dinner, not that they were being rude, but they were just so excited with the challenge to come, and I was, at least for that night, the enemy. Ginny kept giggling at me, and nudging Dean who sat to her right. I decided to just eat quickly and get out of there, but Ron couldn't help telling me he'd come up with a bit of a surprise. He did look a lot like the proverbial canary-eating cat.

Hermione was the only one who looked at me like normal, it was almost eerie because I thought about what Draco had asked me, and I wondered if she somehow knew I had been talking about her. But of course she couldn't have, could she? She seemed to be finding Ron and Ginny to be a bit childish right then. It was hard not to agree, but then again, we'd all had so little to be gleeful about with that kind of abandon for so long. I guess it was like flying, being light of heart and finally free. I was willing to put up with it for the night, hoping that by the conclusion of the activities that a sense of normalcy might be restored. More about that later, but if you've been keeping up so far I imagine you probably know how silly that particular wish was.

I skipped dessert and wandered out into the hallway, parking myself outside the castle doors, atop a stone portion of the descending steps that lead out to the grounds. Twilight wouldn't fall for another hour or so, so I could still look out over the grass and the path to Hagrid's, the owlery tower to my right, just above the closed in courtyard. It reminded me that I should send a letter to Charlie, to see how things were going at 12 G, and to ask if he needed more money for the contractors. At least that Weasley wasn't giggling at me right now. I thought I should send a post to George as well, just to keep in touch. I hadn't seen him since the summer bonfire. I just wanted some kind of connection right then, with someone from the past seven years. I hadn't expected it to end up being Draco Malfoy.

"Potter?" It was his voice that pulled me out of the latest bout of melancholy. "They're almost ready for us. You'd better get inside." I stood up, dusted off my school robes, pulled out my wand and turned to head inside.


	11. Chapter 11

Happy Birthday Darloudasha ! I may get another chapter out soon too. The reviews have been wonderful, I appreciate them greatly.

Bring on the conflict.

Thanks,

Merick

Chapter Eleven

There were thirty-three of us by my count, sixth and seventh years; seventh years being that hodgepodge of real seventh years and the eighth years who had missed out on their NEWTS for death eater reasons. Everyone was dressed in their house colors, so I stood out pretty badly as the only scarlet and gold Gryffindor in a sea of green, yellow and black. Oh well, I remember thinking to myself, it was an exercise, and it didn't matter who belonged to who, only that we all learned something from the experience. Everyone had huddled around me and we had gone over a few of the spells as a quick review for those who had not been able to attend that afternoon. That was a good feeling, I don't mind saying. I never said I didn't have an ego; even if it was taking a bit of a beating at that point.

Minerva and Ron had gotten up on a little stage that she must have transfigured from something else; I didn't have time to look around the hallway to sort out what was missing. Ron was practically vibrating he was so excited, I'm surprised that the Slytherins didn't break out into a chorus of 'Weasley is our King', but I suspected that had more to do with Minerva's presence on the stage than any streak of politeness on their parts. Ron looked desperate to start talking but Minerva spoke first. She commended us all for our dedication to our studies, and our willingness to work together. She told us how proud she was of us, and how we reminded her of the founders of our school, who had banded together for the greater good when wizarding kind had required it. I wondered to myself if she had a pile of these speeches tucked away in her desk somewhere to pull out as the occasion required, or if she made this stuff up on the fly. I guess it wasn't a gracious thought on my part.

After charging us to do our best she gave the podium to Ron who held his head up high, bless him, and finally gave up his secret.

"Hey everybody!" The Hufflepuffs were polite, the Slytherins rather charged with energy. "I know you all know that we've set up a course inside the Great Hall, filled with traps and spells that you have to discover. But we decided to make it a little more interesting. There's a prize involved now you see." He looked over at Hermione for some reason unbeknownst to me, perhaps for reassurance, and then continued. "There's a special dagger hidden in the hall, guarded by a number of spells. It's made of Hungarian Horntail Dragon scales, and will cut through most anything; a nice addition to any potions kit, or Dragonologist arsenal. Whoever finds it, and frees it from its charms will win it." He was so obviously pleased with himself for coming up with the idea.

He told me later that it had been Charlie who had sent it for him. I guess one of the Horntails he had been corralling had shed a number of scales in its distress. Charlie managed to collect up a few and had them turned into daggers; they really weren't big enough to be swords, at only six inches or so. But he thought they'd be a useful tool for him, and as gifts for friends. Ron had talked him out of one, just for the contest. Charlie thought it seemed a good idea, and apparently George thought they might be a nice product for the shop, if Charlie could get any more. I don't think the Ministry approved that idea.

The addition of a prize caused a bit of buzzing amongst my team, and I have to admit it made me a little more nervous, and not just because I would now be expected to come up with something to offer for my turn on Friday. Draco, who had been standing at my right hand during the speeches, nudged me with a little grin.

"I think I'm going to have to try to win that one Potter. Give me hand?"

"Okay." I agreed before thinking about it. Not that it really mattered.

"You've encountered a dragon like that before haven't you?" Now he was whispering.

I had, during the Triwizard Tournament, another thing I tried to avoid thinking about, because that was when Cedric had died and my blood had allowed Voldemort to become corporeal again.

"Do you remember anything unique about it?" Now I saw where Draco was going.

"It had bronze horns."

"Do you think the Dragonologist that made this dagger might have used bronze as the hilt?"

"A very good possibility Draco." Charlie was a purist, I would have laid money on it that he had incorporated bronze into the dagger somewhere. As it turned out, I would have won that bet. In that moment, Draco reminded me a great deal of Hermione, she would have thought of that too.

Ron stepped down from the stage and Minerva opened the doors to the Great Hall for us. It was not immediately apparent to me, as I wasn't at the front of our little throng, but it had been completely transfigured and was hardly recognizable from dinner, only thirty minutes before. I had to give Ron credit, it was some complicated magic and his team had done a great deal of work in such a short time, demonstrating how strong their skills were.

Rightly or wrongly I gave Ron credit for organizing the team, but I doubted very much he had come up with the design for the room. Sadly, it seemed to me that Ginny might have been the influence there. I looked over to see if I could pick her out in the crowd. I wanted to see her face, and I wondered if she had any idea what the vision of her configuration was doing to me.

Instead of the tables and chairs, and house banners hanging from the ceiling, the Great Hall was dark looking and closed in. The body of it was full of rows on rows of shelves, each holding multitudes of scrolls, glass phials, and globes and all manner of magical looking items. It was the Hall of Prophecies in the Department of Mysteries. And it made me stop dead in my tracks.

I cursed under my breath. I had not counted on psychological warfare. Draco recognized it as well, I could tell by the haunted look on his face, and I wondered if the same wide-eyed stare graced my own. It was here that I had lost Sirius, knocked through the veil between life and death by Bellatrix's curse. And it was here that Draco's' father, acting as a Death Eater in the service of Voldemort, was captured and taken away to Azkaban. I didn't know if Draco had seen him since. This place had been changed specifically to hurt Draco and I, to try to neutralize our drive and skills, and I have to admit, as sick as I felt seeing that place again, and remembering the loss of my only wizarding family there, I was angry. I was angry at Ginny for thinking of it, I was angry at Ron for going along with it, and I was angry at Hermione for not stopping either of them with her common sense, and friendship for me. And I was going to use that anger then, to best that place, and show them that I was better than they were giving me credit for. I looked at Draco, and I know he could see the fire behind my eyes suddenly.

"We can do this Draco." I whispered to him between clenched teeth.

"I know we can Harry."

And we stepped into the room together. The last face I saw, as they closed the doors behind our group was Hermione's, she saw the same expression Draco had, and I could see the regret in all her features, regret that she had allowed this to happen.


	12. Chapter 12

And again, more sincere thanks for the reviews, the notes, the fav's and alerts. I feel so loved. (Even if I still can't read my hits- but you guys make it so worthwhile). You are the best group out there!

Enjoy the DADA class.

Merick

Chapter Twelve

Wands sprang to light and pairs began moving out into the stacks, eyes darting everywhere, keeping alert for any possible danger. I headed to the center of the room, following Draco who seemed to have a bead on something.

"They've made it much easier by transfiguring everything." He whispered to me. "It's much easier to find something that hasn't been altered recently." Again he was right.

"I have your back then Draco. Start your hunt."

The spell he used was two-fold, one to reveal the truth of the objects he scanned, and the second to find bronze. I cast a shield charm around us both; it would slow down anything we might run into accidentally.

From behind us we heard the first minor explosions to indicate that someone had tripped a booby trap. There were muttered profanities, but they indicated to me that no one was seriously hurt, just annoyed. A shriek and a shower of sparks meant another trap had been set off. I doubled my vigilance, and just in time. Something leapt at us from the top of the shelf to our left. Without thinking I stunned it and it fell to the ground at my feet. A pixie. I nudged it aside with my shoe so no one would step on it. We rounded another corner, meeting the wall of the Great Hall, I assumed. I put my hand out to touch it, which was a mistake because a white fog began to roll from it, partially obscuring my view and making my eyes burn. Apparently it wasn't the real wall. 'Deprimo' created a stiff breeze from the end of my wand and dispersed it and my eyes began to feel better.

"There's something up here." Draco's voice rolled around his robes, as he didn't look back at me. A figure darted in front of us, Voldemort. But of course it couldn't have been, not that it didn't startle us both for a millisecond. I had been right about the boggart, we both turned our wands at it, shouting 'riddikulus'. Voldemort ended up in my cousin Dudley's wrestling singlet; which I had always thought was the funniest looking piece of clothing ever invented. Draco's contribution was neon striped thigh high stockings, in a fabulous mixture of green and pink. It was terribly elegant, and not at all frightening any longer, we both laughed at it. The thing flicked off to startle someone else.

Sounds of spells being cast were growing more frequent, which meant that we were finding and disarming more and more traps. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, in fact I don't think we'd ever discussed how long we would have to complete this task before Minerva pulled the plug on the whole thing. There was a loud crash behind us and we heard a shelf toppling not too far off. Things seemed to be getting more serious. Draco, still ahead of me, stopped.

"Harry? Don't move." I had been ready to rush to his side. "I've just tripped something." He was standing stock-still. Immediately I cast the 'Specialis Revelio' and revealed tendrils rising from the floor, curling around his feet.

"Damned Devil's Snare!" I cursed as it took hold of Draco. "Confringio!" I pointed my wand at it, causing the tendrils I could see to burst into flame. Devil's Snare did not like fire, and I hoped Draco could jump free before his robes caught as well.

He pulled back towards me, falling against me in his haste to escape. In a heap on the floor we sat, and caught our breath for a few moments, trying to sort out where to go next.

"We must be getting closer Harry." I agreed with his assessment. In my peripheral vision I could see sparkling, I didn't know what it meant, but it didn't give me an easy feeling. We stood up, straightened our robes, checked our wands and surveyed the area quickly for more nasty plants before moving.

"Come on, I think we're running out of time." Draco grabbed my robe and we took off. The fireworks and loud voices were growing even more pronounced around us. We rounded one corner, then another, all the while me seeing the sparkles.

"Duck!" I pulled him to the ground as a bolt of fire shot out from a small gargoyle statue sitting eye level on one of the shelves.

"This has to be it." The end of Draco's wand projected a golden light over the shelf and one object stood out, a solid black rectangle, which reflected no light.

"You're better at transfiguration than me Harry. Solid to liquid, please."

I pointed my wand and uttered the spell, I saw the blackness begin to melt away but the sparkles surrounded my head, preventing me from seeing anything else. I tried to swat at them but each time my hand met a cluster I felt the sting of their sharp edges, it was like being caught in a fog of glass. I couldn't see well enough to direct another transfiguration spell to turn them to liquid as well, and I couldn't cast blind. I sank to the floor hoping to evade them. Immediately I felt a hand around my arm.

"Open your eyes."

The sparkles were gone. I looked at Draco. "I didn't hear your spell."

"No you didn't." He grinned, bloody hell, the boy could cast wordless spells. He pointed up to the block, or where the block had rested. In its place, surrounded by a viscous puddle was a leather wrapped bundle, glowing with a bronze sheen.

"Take it." He told me. I shook my head.

"It's yours Draco, your spells found it." Even if I hadn't heard what those spells were.

He reached for it, unwrapped it, and instantly the Great Hall was a swirling maelstrom of objects retransfiguring themselves into our familiar environment. It was over. Draco stood, with the revealed dagger in his hands, and a round of applause broke out amongst all the students, even some of the Gryffindors, and most notably, Ron. I decided I could be a little less angry with him.

Minerva's voice rose over us all, it seems they had all been on the dais where the Professors normally sat for meals, watching us.

"Congratulations students! And special congratulations to Mr. Malfoy for finding the prize. An excellent event to be sure Mr. Weasley." Ron beamed with pride. "I heard the use of many innovative spells and charms, and I must compliment the makers of the environment." I bristled a bit at that, "To have achieved such a Transfiguration in so short a time demonstrates great skills."

I was still looking a bit sideways at Draco, I had had no idea he could cast spells wordlessly. For those of you who don't know, this is an incredible skill. So much of proper spell casting involves verbal inflection, or spells can go terribly wrong, or not work at all. For the first time, Draco's smile stayed plastered to his face for longer than a few moments. Winning that prize was a turning point for him it seemed, in recapturing part of his heretofore-lost spirit. It was good to see, at least for me.

Our team gathered around Draco and I, and it was hard not to notice a few singed spots and torn robes. Pansy appeared to have a green tinge to her skin, but I didn't want to mention it for fear it would embarrass her. Her sister would likely point it out, and it would be easier to hear it from her. But, even with the surface scars we all seemed to be intact, and everyone seemed to be treating Draco's prize as a general victory. After a few minutes of discussion of what had transpired, many of the students started making their way back to their dorms to clean up and see what spells they could use to repair torn garments and ruined shoes. It would be a simple task in comparison to what we had just faced, and a general sense of camaraderie followed the groups out into the halls. Ron and Hermione had hung back, speaking with Minerva for a few minutes, and Professor Sinistra had taken the opportunity to come over to speak with Draco and I when we were left alone.

"I wanted to add my congratulations to you both. I was excellent to see you working together as you did."

"Thank you Professor." We both mumbled, feeling a little overwhelmed, and humble. Okay, I couldn't really speak for Draco, but I sensed he was feeling the same way as I was.

"I would be happy to help you both set up for the match on Friday if you need any assistance." I wasn't sure that would be fair, but I thanked her politely. Again she had an afterthought, which she verbalized after taking a few steps away from us.

"Come and see me tomorrow in the tower Harry, I think I have a prize you can use for the others to search for." And then she was gone again, not waiting for an answer. I was beginning to see a pattern in her dealings with me.

"I want to go and speak to Ron and Hermione for a moment Harry. Would you come with me?"

"Of course."

Hermione still had an upset look on her face as we came over. To give her credit she hadn't left like Ginny had after the game had ended. Ron had a big smile; he was totally pleased with the outcome, if not totally oblivious to what his sister had done. Draco stuck out his hand to Ron.

"That was an excellent game Ron, very challenging."

Ron shook his hand, I was pleased about that, and the anger that remained in my mind towards Ron melted away. It was easy to forgive him; knowing him as well as I did, and knowing how genuine he was.

"But you still managed to beat it Draco."

"Luck, and the fact that we were at Hogwarts, and I'm sure that Professor McGonagall limited the type of spells you could use. I know you have many more deadly ones in your arsenal." Draco's words were polite, and encouraging, and respectful. Certainly not a chorus of 'Weasley is our King'.

"Well, thank you Draco." Ron looked at me oddly as Draco next went to Hermione.

"I'm sure that your skills also played a large part in creating this challenge." I froze for a moment, afraid that he was going to call her out on the design of the playing field. The look in her eyes told me that she thought the same, and she was steeling herself to apologize to him.

"Are you still planning on taking a position at the Ministry? In the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures?"

She nodded, unsure of where the line of questioning was going, as was I.

"Then I hope you will not mind if I make a gift of this to you." He held out the dagger, with just a small smile on his face. "I think it may be of use to you." He put it in her hands.

"Draco?" Her voice was hesitant.

"Please take it Hermione." He stepped back, nodded to me, and walked away alone.

Ron and I crowded around Hermione who was watching Draco's egress with wide-eyed shock.

"Wow." Was all Ron could utter. I didn't have anything better just at that moment.

"Why would he do that?" She asked us both, eyes darting back and forth between us.

It dawned on me. "It was an apology Hermione." She shook her head. "For the manor."

"But," she stopped, "I didn't," She couldn't get out any more words.

We three of us stood in silence for a few moments. I don't know exactly what the others were thinking, but for myself I was seeing greater and greater layers of Draco Malfoy than I had ever seen, and I liked them. Ron broke the quiet finally.

"Do you think Kreacher could bring us up some more snacks Harry?"

Always practical that Ron, and almost always thinking about his stomach; I suppose that came along with a family of seven kids. I laughed at him. He took Hermione's hand, like the king and queen of the night that they were, and we headed back to the Gryffindor tower to see about some snacks.


	13. Chapter 13

The blessed counter is working again! Thanks so much for all the feedback of the last ten days, you have really kept me going. You guys are awesome! (You can keep writing if you want too, :D )

Merick

Chapter Thirteen

When Ron went to sort out another sandwich for himself; after first checking if Hermione needed anything, she took the opportunity to pull me aside from the crowd in the common room. I had known she wanted to speak privately, and while I hadn't purposely avoided that talk, I hadn't done anything to hasten it on either.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." I pursed my lips together and nodded, looking as obliging as I could when she apologized. "I didn't even think about what seeing that place again would do to you."

"Or to Draco." I whispered.

"Or to Draco." She agreed. "When we talked about what to do and Ginny suggested that place it seemed like a good idea."

So I had been correct in my assumption, Ginny had sparked the idea.

"She thought that it was one of the places where we had faced the most spells in the forms of hexes and charms, and of course the Dark Magic of fighting the Death Eaters. She saw it as a real triumph for us all."

"Triumph?" I didn't want to sound snide, or angry, and I tried really hard to make my words sound better than the emotions that lay behind them. "That place was like the beginning of the end for me Hermione."

"I know that now, but I just didn't think about the other stuff. Just about how we won, all of us, together."

"The other stuff? Like Sirius dying, like me finding out that Voldemort had to kill me to survive? Do you know what a hole that place left in me Hermione? I had hope before that place, and it just took it all away." I know my voice sounded pitiful right then, but I was beyond caring, at least with Hermione. She'd seen me at my worst, and if I were going to break down in front of anyone it would probably have been her.

"I didn't think." She looked absolutely miserable in that moment, I had to do something so I reached out and took her hand and squeezed it. I took a deep breath, just to calm us both.

"It's okay Hermione, it's done now. You're right, we survived." I tried to plaster a grin to my face but I know it didn't look sincere. "I will get past it, eventually."

There were tears in her eyes and she pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Harry."

"It's okay Hermione, I'm not mad at you." And I wasn't, or Ron either. They might have been guilty of bad judgment, but nothing more, and I was beyond blaming people for that. Now an intent to harm, that was something I wasn't beyond forgiving just yet.

"Everything okay you two?" Ron was back, sandwich in hand.

"Just fine Ron." I answered while Hermione set herself to rights, her back turned to him.

"So what's up with Draco then?"

I was exhausted after the DADA class, and after talking to Hermione and Ron for a while. I had wanted to stay up and talk to Ginny, or at least part of me had wanted too, but fatigue won out, along with the knowledge that I still had morning classes to attend, it was, after all, Monday. So I went to bed, but didn't fall asleep right away sadly, the active little hamsters in their wheels kept me up for a few more hours. I was worried about what I could do for Friday's class, and I was worried about Ginny; not where she was, but why things had suddenly gone so bad for us, and I wondered how much of it was my fault.

Sleep did eventually come, fitful and peppered with nightmares of the Ministry, and of running for my life, over and over again, and not being able to escape, things I wasn't about to admit to anybody. I tore sheets from the bed, and scattered pillows, and blessedly morning arrived somewhere in the midst of it, and I hadn't been happier to see a sunrise in a very long time.

I dragged myself out of bed, not feeling, or looking, I imagined, like much of anything. A shower, a large cup of coffee, and not quite so bleary eyes followed Ron and Hermione to first period. And then second, and then lunch. After that we parted with me heading up to Astronomy, ruing the decision to take it on as a NEWT level course when I could have just as easily slipped back into my bed. But Professor Sinistra had asked to see me, and I felt as though I had to go.

The enthusiasm of the previous Astronomy classes waned drastically with my fatigue, and Draco nudged me once during the demonstration to wake me up and handed me a square of chocolate for the energy. I thanked him with all the sincerity I could muster and hoped I hadn't been snoring. He waited for me after class as I went up to the see the professor. We had Divination next, our first class with Firenze.

"Professor, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, thank you Mr. Potter." She handed me a drawstring pouch, cinched together at the top with a leather lace. "Just something for you to offer as a prize."

I looked at it, and then back at her. "Should I open it?"

"Of course." She smiled at me and I immediately felt a little warmer. I carefully undid the string and reached into the pouch to pull out a golden disk with inlaid circles that looked to me an awful lot like the inside of a clock. "It's an astrolabe, a very old one as well. When the owner taps it with their wand it will automatically find the location of the sun, moon, stars and planets as requested, even during the day, even indoors. A most useful tool I have found."

It was beautiful, and intricately carved with the designs I recognized from the classroom walls.

"Thank you, it is beautiful."

"You are very welcome Mr. Potter. I hope it will make as exciting a target as Mr. Weasley's dragon dagger."

"I'm sure it will." I had a thought, as my mind seemed to be suddenly waking up, must have been the chocolate I reasoned. "Professor? Would we be able to use your classroom for our team to meet up before the match? Just so we can plan out our strategy? I promise we won't do any spell casting up here."

"An excellent idea Mr. Potter. When would you like it to be available for you?"

I thought for a moment. That night, Tuesday, I had to be in Hermione's Potions class, so maybe Wednesday? She agreed, and told me she would meet us here after supper to open the door. I grabbed up my stuff quickly and went to meet Draco, fearful that we were both going to be late meeting Firenze, but Professor Sinistra, always on her own time, called after the both of us that she would send her Patronus to let him know that we would be late because she had held us back after class.

After Divination I had to go back to the dorms to lie down. If I fell asleep in Hermione's Potions class she would never forgive me. Well, she would, I think I had at least one in the 'free pass' column, but I didn't want to do that. I needed catching up there too. I threw myself onto my bed, pulled the curtains, set an alarm for six o'clock and fell asleep, dreamlessly. It was glorious, at least until the buzzing woke me.

At dinner, as at breakfast, I arrived after most of the other Gryffindors, and Ginny was already surrounded by her friends. Why do I mention this you might ask? Well, mostly because she was making no effort to talk to me. Not that I expected an apology, but I would have thought that if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend that she would have at least tried to talk to me once during the last forty eight hours. I wasn't a total idiot when it came to such things; okay I'll be the first to admit I didn't know nearly enough about girls, and I would never try to pretend that I understood them, but it was pretty obvious to me that Ginny had broken up with me. Not that I was quite sure when, or even exactly sure why. And that was twisting at my insides something fierce as I went to Potions class.

So, reading this chapter over I realize that it may seem a little ponderous, or maybe even scattered, I warned you at the beginning that I might do this every so often. You likely would have wondered where the Astrolabe came from, and why in Potions class Hermione had us make sleeping draughts; oh wait, I didn't put that part in yet, oh well, she did, and I did, and I used it. I wanted to make sure I put in all the parts that lead up to the things that happened next. I've probably missed a few things, so there may be some flashbacks. And honestly, I'd have preferred not to have to mention anything that happened with Ginny back then, because, with maturity I have been able to forgive her the things she did to me, and see more of how my actions pushed her to them. Although, I have to admit, looking back, I was pretty astute back then too; course I might be giving myself a bit more credit than I am really due as I write this. Who knows? It's my memory though, and my story, and it was how I was feeling back then.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

So, without too much further ado, here's how Ginny and I broke up; otherwise known as 'I know more secret passages around the castle than she ever will.'

You would think that it would be hard to avoid someone who shared the same common room, dinner table, and hallways as you, but apparently it isn't. Ginny managed it quite well. When she wasn't avoiding me, she surrounded herself with her girlfriends so that I didn't dare approach her for fear of the 'friend shield'. By Wednesday I had had quite enough though, and the roiling around in my stomach was turning to anger. As I have said, it was obvious she didn't want to be with me anymore, but I was not prepared to just leave it at that. I needed an answer from her, and civility be damned, I was going to get it.

Of course it had to wait until after my meeting with the Slytherin and Hufflepuffs in the Astronomy classroom. True to her word, Professor Sinistra met us after dinner, walking over with us from the Great Hall, and drawing no end of stares from the other two tables. I imagine they thought that I was going to be cheating by using help from a Professor; well, being in a less than generous mood for the reasons described above, I really didn't care. If they wanted to question the integrity of a Professor, they could damn well just bring it up with Minerva. They'd get the truth from me; even if it wasn't what they wanted to hear.

We sat around the desks and talked for a while. Well mostly I let everyone else do the talking and then I just tried to get their ideas formed together. It was actually surprising how well the groups worked together; and not just because the Slytherin students were very self assured either. Many of the Hufflepuffs had proven to be more devious than I could have imagined back then. But determined to be the bigger man, I had to reign in some of the ideas about making Ron's team work in an impenetrable magical darkness or fog, and adding magically enhanced rodents to the course to trip people up. Though I didn't rule out using either idea on a smaller scale, I was trying to be fair.

At the end of two hours we mostly knew who was doing what; my and Draco's job being to effectively hide the Astrolabe. We parted with some students heading to the library to look up the correct spells to accomplish their tasks, and with others heading back to their dorms. Draco hung back, as he was doing more and more of lately, to talk for a few minutes; mostly about his idea for the room layout and where we should hide the astrolabe. Professor Sinistra found us pouring over a model of the Great Hall that Draco had conjured on her desk. She was amused by it. As we walked down the steps Draco surprised me.

"It's been really nice working with you Harry." I hadn't expected that, but I agreed.

"Yeah Draco, we make a good team."

"It's too bad you weren't sorted into Slytherin all those years ago. Things could have turned out so differently."

I didn't want to tell him that the sorting hat had considered it for me way back then. Some days I wondered if I had made the right choice. Not many days, but days when I was angry. Maybe it didn't make a lot of sense, I don't know.

"Yeah, things sure would have been different Draco."

"You want to get a coffee?"

"I would Draco, but I have something I have to take care of first. I'll catch up with you in the morning."

I went back to the dorms first, on the off chance that Ginny would be there. She wasn't. But it gave me the opportunity to dig out my invisibility cloak and my Marauders Map. I saw no point in traipsing all over the castle looking for her when I could simply ask to find her on the map, and then head straight there. I pointed my wand at it, in the privacy of my curtained bed and spoke.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The images on it sprang to life and I told it that I wanted to find Ginny Weasley. Instantly a little black dot popped up, walking one of the lower hallways, Ginny's name floating on top of it. I watched it for a bit, wondering where she was going, until she headed into the girls washroom, Myrtle's washroom. When the dot disappeared I knew exactly where she had gone, though I was surprised that the passageway was even still accessible to students.

The Chamber of Secrets didn't exist on my map, it wasn't plottable, but I had faced the Basilisk in there, ironically enough saving Ginny's life, and nearly losing my own as well. I couldn't believe she would go back there, the memories of that place had to be as horrible for her as they were for me, didn't they? But then again, perhaps she didn't put much stock in places; the Ministry scene hadn't bothered her either.

I had an hour till curfew, and so did she, and I was going after her. I wrapped the Invisibility cloak into a ball under my school robes. I tucked the map into my pocket and I headed out. No one even asked where I was going. They were too busy 'shhing' each other as I walked by. The end of the day Friday was going to be a very happy time for me, when I could hopefully go back to being a part of my house again.

I was so well practiced in the secret passages of the school I hardly needed the cloak to make my way around. I knew another, easier way to gain entrance to the Chamber, besides the sink in the girls bathroom, but it involved going past the Staff room, and through normally locked doors. Simple enough charms to counter when you had broken into so many well guarded places in your lifetime. I entered the passageway, which hadn't been blocked off either and I was making my way towards the chamber. I thought on my walk over of how I should approach things when I got there. Part of me thought: being the type of person who gets caught up in memories, that Ginny might have been bewitched again, as she had been with Tom's bloody diary, the object that had led her to that Chamber before. But in my heart I didn't think that was the cause really. I mostly thought she was meeting someone else there, though I hadn't had the nerve to ask the map if there was anyone with her. And therein lay my dilemma. I could sneak up and surprise her with whomever she was with, or I could be the bigger man, and though I was following her, I could make a great deal of noise so that she would be alerted to someone coming.

I chose the more noble approach, taking off the invisibility cloak, stamping a hard footfall on the descending stone staircase, and even whistling as I got close to the great Oak door that was the Chamber's original entrance. Stopping in front of it I took a breath making certain that confronting her was what I wanted to do, and deciding I had to, for the sake of my own health, I pounded on the door.

There was scrabbling, and I pounded again; it was a heavy door after all, I say pound, but really, it wasn't out of anger that's just what it sounded like. I called out her name, and then I pushed the door open. She hadn't known it was there or she would have warded it I imagine.

On the floor, in front of the very stone where I had killed the basilisk was Ginny, looking wide eyed at the door I had just opened; which didn't look like a door from her side, sitting on a blanket beside Dean Thomas. If she looked crimson, he was mortified.

"I wonder if I could speak to Ginny alone for a little while Dean?" I asked in my most controlled voice.

"Ah Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean," I cut him off; I didn't want to hear any more lies. He knew fine well what he was doing, no matter what Ginny had told him. We'd never been close friends, but we were at least amicable. I just didn't need to deal with him too.

"If you wouldn't mind Dean." I stood, unmoving, looking down on them both. It was the only position of power I was ever going to have with them both. He fumbled to put himself to rights and took off past me, as if he expected me to hit him or something, which I would never have done. He was up the stairs behind that oak door, not knowing where he was going to find himself, only knowing he didn't want to be near me at that moment.

"What do you want Harry?" Ginny was putting on her defiant little pout, which I had always found charming before. It wasn't so charming just then.

"I think you owe me an explanation Ginny."

"Do you now then?"

"What exactly have I done to you to deserve this?" I cast my arms around the room.

"Well if you don't know."

"Not good enough Ginny. I need some answers from you."

"You obviously don't want to be with me anymore Harry." She tried to begin.

"What?" I was incredulous at her take on things.

"You don't want to spend time with me."

"You mean I don't want to have sex with you in the woods." She tried to keep an angry expression on her face, but my words had hurt her and she stumbled for her own for a moment.

"No, not just that." Okay, so that had been part of it. "You do everything to avoid me."

"What?"

"You spent most of the summer in London at your house."

"I explained that to you, it was dangerous, your parents wouldn't have let you come, and I respect them too much to defy them. Besides, I came back to the Burrow almost every weekend to see you."

"And Ron and Hermione and George."

"I can't help that, they're my friends too."

"I was supposed to be more than your friend, I was your girlfriend." Don't think I missed the semantics in that sentence.

"I needed to get it done myself, I tried to explain it to you. I had to have some kind of closure with that place, make it my own."

"And when we got back to school? What then?"

"We went flying, I wanted to do more together, but you didn't seem interested."

"You seem to have found other things to occupy yourself with. Like teaching DADA classes."

"I did that because Professor McGonagall asked me to. You aren't getting on Ron's case about it."

"He's my brother."

"And I was supposed to be your boyfriend, it was the same opportunity for both of us." She didn't have an answer, and so she changed her tack.

"You send more time with Draco Malfoy than me."

"We're in class together, and we had one morning of studying." I sensed we might be getting to the heart of her anger, finally.

"He's on your team all of a sudden for DADA."

"That was Ron's idea, not mine."

"You didn't object."

"What sense would there have been in that. It's just class work, review, getting caught up before the new professor gets here."

"He is your enemy. His father was a Death Eater, he tried to kill all of us, more than once."

"Lucius did, not Draco."

"He's just like his father."

"How can you make that generalization?"

"It's just the way it is."

"So am I like my father, when he was a student here? A bully, torturing other students like Severus, because he could, because he was stronger?"

"Your father was a hero, he fought against Voldemort!"

"He changed, grew up, made the choice to be with the Order and fight with them. Am I like Sirius, another bully, who treated poor Kreacher like scum?"

"No Harry, you aren't like that."

"Then how can you make the generalization about Draco?"

"He's just evil, and I know it."

"A pretty poor argument Ginny."

"You used to be strong Harry!" And there we had it, what I wanted her to admit finally.

"That's why you set up the Ministry test isn't it?" She looked at me confused. "You wanted to show yourself that I wasn't strong anymore, you wanted to test me to see if I would fall apart seeing that place. That's probably why you chose this place? Because you knew it would rattle me if I ever found you."

"Here, in the Ministry, on the battle field you were strong Harry. You were an amazing wizard with powers to rival Voldemort!"

"And that's why you loved me." It wasn't a question, it was simply resignation. "And when I stopped being 'the boy who lived', the youngest Quidditch seeker, the one who had to kill Voldemort, the hero on the run trying to save wizarding kind, that was when you loved me? And when I gave it up, when I wanted to put it behind me, when I just wanted peace, I wasn't enough for you anymore was I? You needed another rising star."

There were tears welling in her eyes but I couldn't stop because it was all falling into place. "You were raised as the youngest of seven brothers, there was nothing you could do that one of them hadn't already done, and that was killing you. The only way you could distinguish yourself was through me wasn't it? At least the only way you thought you could do it." I dared to reach out and touch her finally, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Ginny, you are a powerful, talented witch. You cast the best hexes I've ever seen; you are a top-notch seeker and an agile broom pilot. You are intelligent, and strong, and can stand up to anyone, even a Death Eater and keep fighting. The only thing you don't have is self-confidence. And I am sorry I couldn't give you that. Between running for my life and trying to destroy Voldemort, I just didn't have the opportunity. I had hoped that we would have this year together, and that I would take you home after this to 12G. But I can see that isn't going to happen now. I'm sorry for whatever pain I caused you through my short sightedness, and I hope you find yourself some happiness." I turned away from her and began to walk back to the passage I had come from.

"I hope you'll think about coming for Christmas still this year, with everyone else, but I'll understand if you don't feel you can. Bring Dean if you like." And I walked away.

I kept my shoulders straight as I hit the stairs, but as soon as I had closed the door behind me I let them slump, and I felt the trembling in my hands, and I fought it long enough to pull out the invisibility cloak and hide myself underneath it, alone on the stone steps.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

I often wonder if I should have let her defend herself against every accusation I threw at her. But I just couldn't do it that night. And she never did admit to any of it even being remotely true, at least not to me, not that I had expected her too. By Christmas we had developed an easy peace between us, even if we blatantly ignored the obvious, so she did come to the house. But I'll likely write more about that later. I'll just say that it wasn't with Dean.

More of the sleeping draught and I had restful nights on Wednesday and Thursday. And then came Friday. I'll skip to the evening, because I know that you are all curious about what my team put together, and I do want to keep your interest in my story.

We chose to work with the theory that what is most familiar to you can be the most deadly. We'd all seen it and heard it time and again in our short lives. Images can be distorted, spirits corrupted, and evil can weave itself the most pleasant guise to worm its way into your heart and your mind. Having said all that, we also understood that magnificently evil things in our word seemed to work around prophecies. Having had a few divination classes; which were going well, thanks for asking, the undercurrents of the divine were becoming more apparent to me, in all our everyday lives. Not to say I was turning into some kind of mystic or anything. But this was magic after all, and magic breeds its own level of the fantastic quite naturally.

Minerva had created the same stage for me to stand on beside her; not that I had really wanted too, but Ron had set the precedent so I kind of had to. She made her speech, a little shorter this time, wished everyone luck and handed the platform over to me.

"Hi everyone." I began, trying to be as amicable as I could. "I hope you find this course challenging and a good test of your skills. The prize for tonight's winner was generously donated by Professor Sinistra." She nodded as I mentioned her name, her lips pursed together in a precise line of acknowledgment. Not haughty, or boastful, just an accepting smile. For some reason I envied that measured control she had.

"The Astrolabe is a magical tool which will orient its owner with a tap of their wand, no matter where they are in the world. And in the spirit of this Astronomical device I offer you your hint for beating the course. 'The Gods begat the heavens and hung in them their children. Look to the Dioscuri to find your path.'" The reference was from first year astronomy class, which everyone before me had taken, even if they didn't remember it right at that moment. For those of you out there who are also a few years removed from your first year Astronomy classes, the Dioscuri are Gemini, the twins Castor and Pollux. Twinning things was the key to solving our puzzle.

There were a number of blank stares as the doors opened, obviously a few people who had no idea what I was talking about. Hermione had gotten it, I could tell by the great grin on her face, I matched it, perhaps I shouldn't have, and people might have gotten the wrong idea about that. But I really wasn't at the point of worrying about those types of things right then. Truth be told, I just wanted the night over with. The real surprise as the doors opened was that the Great Hall looked exactly like the Great Hall always looked; it could have been set up waiting for its next meal service for all anyone could tell. We had planned it that way, knowing that obvious things would be overlooked because they were so familiar. And in our course, it was the obvious things that were going to be the most challenging.

I knew that if you got too close to some of the chairs without realizing they were enchanted that they would begin to stack around you, enclosing you in a wooden jail. I knew that if you took the wrong turn around the Ravenclaw table, heading towards the prize that your perception would begin to change and every forward step would seem ineffectual until you were hopeless lost thinking yourself having been going forward when the opposite was true. I also knew there were a few things that were going to go bang, and snap, and sparkle if you chose the wrong spell to counteract them, or missed them completely. And I knew that there were a few more noxious things, mostly courtesy of Pansy, who was determined to get even with someone for her blue tinge of Monday night. It had taken Madam Pomfrey quite a few hours to get that off her skin.

I didn't want to watch the progress, but I went with my team to the dais because it was expected. For the most part I kept my eyes down, or watched the other students and professors up there with me. We did not have the cover of darkness that Ron's team had had, so our facial expressions could have given away traps. We had discussed this, and practiced our poker faces; and we were still confident that the complexity of our designs would stump most of the players, even if our grins gave things away.

Draco continued to nudge me whenever my gaze wandered quite obviously away from the play.

"Come on Potter, don't you want to watch the fun?" He said it loud enough for a number of others to turn and see what was up. I tried to smile.

"I'm just waiting for the explosions Draco." It was a lie, but it placated most of the other Slytherin who returned their attention to the floor of the Great Hall. For just over one week I had been allowed into their confidence, but I felt it slipping away now; I was fast returning to my previous status as a Gryffindor rival, and that suited me just fine. It was in everyone's eyes but Draco's it seemed; but the night was still young.

So, as I have said, the keys to solving our puzzle were the twins. Traps had been laid in tandem, so it would take two spells to break them, likewise, the astronomical twins would guide the way to the prize. Some players had remembered that the ceiling of the Great Hall was often transformed into the starry night sky, and it was on this evening as well. I had noticed some people looking up, Hermione being one of course, and Ginny; who I was trying not to watch, following her lead. If they could find Castor and Pollux, the stars, the line between them was overhead of the prize. Getting to it was another matter.

I watched, maintaining my disinterested facial pose as I had to, turned away when I could. Studied Professor Sinistra, and then Professor McGonagall to see if they had discovered our plans. The occasional hoop of surprise or dismay forced us all to find certain players who had tripped up. But eventually they all began to understand the need for two spells, and finally began travelling in pairs; as had been our objective all along. You are always more powerful when you have back up.

Hermione began making her way over to the spot where we had hidden the Astrolabe, Ron following closely. I had known that if anyone was going to be able to figure it out it was going to be her.

"Surprise in store for them eh Potter?" Draco had nudged me again. He was referring to the spells around the hidden object. Hermione cast her revelation spell, and then Ron cast his, which did give them the vision of the golden object, floating, just above the Ravenclaw table, at the center point. The chairs sprang to life to defend it, which caught Ron off guard, quickly surrounding him. Hermione came to his rescue, or tried to, by levitating him beyond their reach, but as soon as she put him down they began to crowd for him again. He looked a little panicked, which did make a number of Slytherin snicker. Ron did get a funny kind of wide-eyed look when he was scared. His predicament, well, that and the revelation of the prize began to bring the other teams over, and soon it was difficult to sort out who was doing what in the jumble of bodies. Things were in danger of degenerating into a shooting fest as wands came out to start blowing the chairs into toothpicks, which, though effective, was not exactly what we had foreseen. I was ready to stand up to put an end to it, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Not just yet Mr. Potter." It was Professor Sinistra, "give them another minute or two, I can repair the chairs." I let my shoulders relax and looked at Minerva, she nodded in agreement. With a sigh I watched what transpired next.

Hermione, having decided that she could not free Ron from the chairs had begun goading them to herself by reaching for the Astrolabe. Their attentions turned, she again lifted Ron into the air to hover over the prize. He finally seemed to understand and took up the levitation spell himself. Hermione was quickly surrounded and encased by the wooden creatures charged with guarding the object. But, now free, and having involved all the chairs in Hermione's capture, Ron easily grabbed at the object, received a shock for his haste, then cast a spell to disarm the field around it and plucked it out of the air.

And it was over.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry about the delay in this chapter getting posted, I wrote it, decided I hated it, and re-plotted it out today. The last version was ponderous, and had a little too much useless dialogue, which wasn't taking the Draco character where I wanted him to go. So hopefully this version, which I am happier with, will get you excited about what is to come for him, and for Harry.

Cheers,

Merick

Chapter Sixteen

What I've learned in my short yet long existence is this; sometimes fighting evil requires sacrifice. Sometimes it's an enemy, sometimes a friend, or a brother, a godfather or your parents, and sometimes it's just you. But in the end, everyone loses something, even if it's just your peace of mind; and most of us lose that as well as everything else.

I was allowed back into the graces of my house with very little difficulty after the match was over. Ginny and Dean avoided me like the plague, but that was just fine with me at that point. At least Ron and Hermione could talk to me again, at length, without being viewed as colluding with the enemy. Kreacher providing more trays of snacks certainly didn't hurt my reputation any further. So, with glasses of pumpkin juice, and cold meat sandwiches we all settled back into the normal workings of Gryffindor Common Room life; basically gossip and complaints about our classes, professors and those students unfortunate enough to have been sorted to other houses; although, on that last point, I was happy to see that working together had strengthened some of the bonds between the houses.

Judith was still complaining about the scorch marks on her school robes, despite the fact that Professor Sinistra had offered to have them repaired for her by morning. I suppose it was a good story how she had run into one of Pansy's traps and escaped with only a few marks on her robe. One of the Ravenclaws, Dennis I believe it was, who had been working with Judith had not faired as well, and had required a quick trip to Madam Pomfrey to restore his eyebrows from the same curse. Pansy had felt vindicated after that.

On that thought, I think the Hufflepuffs had felt quite good that their perception charm; which convinced the victim that they were going forward, when in reality they were going backwards, had ensnared so many students. In fact, I think most of my team felt pretty good about the job they had accomplished, and they had all received high praise from their Heads of Houses, Professors Sinistra and Sprout.

"Hey, did you hear what happened to Filch?" Someone shouted from the far side of the room, closest to the fireplace. I have to admit a bit of a curiosity at that statement; having been a target of man for the better part of six years. The story continued.

"Seems that the Headmistress asked him to clean out Snape's old rooms, for the new Professor and he ran into a curse the professor left behind."

"You're kidding?" Ron joined the conversation.

"Nope, I saw him in the infirmary when I helped get Dennis over there. He smelled something awful and looked like he was going to be sick."

"What happened?"

"Tried to open some cabinet or something, thing just blew up on him. He's vowing that he isn't going back in there ever again."

"I don't see as I blame him." Hermione added her two cents worth.

"Leave it to Professor Snape." Ron added, "Always had to have the last word, or hex, in this case."

Before I went to bed I made Ron promise not to do any more challenges with our last few classes of DADA. I much preferred working with my friends, and not against them. Maybe it was worse having to watch them, and not be able to help them. I didn't like that powerless feeling. And, it was easier to set traps when you had a distinct enemy in mind to protect yourself, or something else from. I guess I didn't have the ruthless streak of needing to beat people to validate myself; not saying that Ron was ruthless, but, like his sister, he had grown up having to compete for most everything, and it was a hard habit to outgrow when that was how you set your self worth. For me growing up, I was just always at the bottom, there was no self worth, and no way to acquire it; at least with the Dursleys. At Hogwarts it had been marginally better; when folks didn't think I was faking it to get attention. At least there had always been Hermione and Ron for those years. And Neville, and Luna, and Ginny. That last thought made me sad. I crawled into my bed, drew the curtains, and tried to focus on anything but her so that I could sleep.

Saturday morning found me back in the Great Hall, pouring over my Astronomy book, trying to catch myself up on everything I'd been ignoring in favor of the stress of the DADA classes. Draco was there as well, and after getting myself a coffee; I wasn't hungry after Kreacher's late night snack table, I joined him at his table. He gave me a nod as I sat down and opened my book, taking a big gulp of the almost overly hot coffee. The hall was still quiet, still conducive to actually learning something, and it remained that way until a lone owl swooped in and dropped a letter in my lap some thirty minutes later. It was from Charlie. Seemed the Ministry was sending him off to Ireland, there had been some Muggle reports that sounded a lot like dragonish activity, south of Enniskillen. That meant he'd be away from the house for a few weeks. He'd offered to have his Mum come and stay to watch the contractors, but I quickly wrote him back to tell him not to worry, that there wasn't any kind of rush in getting the place finished. He'd sent along a few catalogues, which I tucked into my book bag so I could have a look later at some new furniture. Having spent most of the summer there I knew that I wanted rid of most everything that was already there, especially in the bedrooms. And, seeing as it was going to be my home at the end of this term, I wanted all new bedroom furniture. I'd never had new anything like that.

I needed to order proper furniture for the guest bedrooms as well. The stuff that currently occupied those spaces would have looked more appropriate in some medieval torture chamber set than a bedroom. I figured Ron and Hermione would want something more non-threatening. I had always figured that they would come and stay with me when we finished school, what with Ron and I, hopefully, working as Aurors and Hermione with the Magical Creatures division, it just seemed like the obvious thing to do. Truth was, I couldn't actually bear the thought of being in that house all by myself. That was why I was hoping to entice Kreacher to return with me. I thought about asking his opinion on some furniture just for his room.

I hadn't touched Sirius' room at all over the summer; I just couldn't bring myself to disturb it. I'm sure Hermione would have called it a shrine, and then counseled me, in that way she always did, that it was time to move on from his death. Maybe that was another reason I hadn't invited them out over the summer to see the place. I wasn't ready to be counseled yet, and I don't think I was quite ready to move on either at that point.

I was just about to get up to fetch refills for Draco and I when Minerva entered the hall, followed by Professor Sinistra. I had harbored the faint hope, for a second or two that they weren't going to come over to speak to Draco and I. My hopes were dashed yet again.

"Good Morning Gentlemen, and how are you both this morning?" Her voice was attempting to be jovial, but she didn't quite manage the light-heartedness that would have made it completely sincere. And it would have sounded wrong coming from her anyways.

"Very well, thank you." We both answered, in about those words.

"Gentlemen? I wonder if I might ask you a favor?"

In my experience Headmasters asking me about favors had never been a pleasant thing. It usually led to uncomfortable trips or challenges that never ended completely as hoped. And usually there were spells and dark magic involved in them somehow. Perhaps Draco had had different experiences, but I doubted it by the quick flash of discord that crossed his face.

"I expect by now that you two have heard about what happened to poor Mr. Filch."

'And?' I thought to myself.

"We were discussing the matter late last night in the staff room, and Professor Sinistra here had a brilliant suggestion."

'Here it came.'

"We were wondering, because of the talent you two demonstrated in the recent DADA classes, and because you both knew Professor Snape very well, if you mightn't consider taking on the task of finishing the cleaning out of his quarters?"

Draco and I looked at each other wide eyed.

"I would be pleased to offer you both some kind of enticement for helping us out with this matter. A free day to yourselves in Hogsmeade? With no chaperones?"

Well that was enticing. My mind quickly thought of a half dozen things I could do with myself for a whole day away from Hogwarts.

"I'd be happy to help Professor McGonagall." Draco surprised me by answering first.

"As would I." I wasn't losing out on this opportunity.

"Wonderful Gentlemen, thank you so much. Mr. Filch left a number of boxes in the hallway outside Severus' rooms. You should have everything you need to get it finished."

"As long as you keep your wits about you, and your wands at the ready." Professor Sinistra added, another good afterthought on her part.

"We'll get started today then." Draco looked at me for my opinion, and I shrugged my shoulders as if to say, 'why not'?

At that time I didn't have a clue that that one favor was going to change the course of my life the way it did, I was just thinking about a free pass away from Hogwarts. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to what the stars were trying to tell me, or realized that every favor I'd ever done for the Headmaster at Hogwarts had turned my life upside down.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Ron was disappointed that he hadn't been asked to come along and help. I suspected that the omission had had more to do with Professor Sinistra then any lack of talent on Ron's part. I had the impression back then that she had knowledge that she wasn't sharing with Draco and I. As a side note, which I'm sure you already suspect, she did have an ulterior motive for her actions; nothing nefarious I assure you. It won't take me too much longer to get there.

Seeing as we had nothing much else to do but study that weekend, Draco and I thought we'd get a start after lunch, so I packed up my books after another few hours of studying, returned to the dorm to change into some more casual clothing, suited to packing and moving, returned to the hall for a hearty lunch; having skipped breakfast as I earlier mentioned, and then met Draco outside Snape's old rooms.

Draco looked decidedly less casual than I, but for all I knew, he didn't even own a pair of jeans or a t-shirt. Really, it made no difference to me, but his white shirt is important later on, so I thought I should make sure to mention it. We knew it was safe to push open the door, Filch had done that much without being harmed, but that was about as far as we knew, and both of us proceeded cautiously into Snape's former space, taking the place in before daring to touch anything.

"You ever been in here before Draco?" I didn't quite know why I was whispering, it was as if I expected Snape's ghost to appear out of nowhere to defend his territory. For a second it crossed my mind that there were other castle ghosts, why not Snape? But of course I had no idea what circumstances produced a ghost and right then didn't seem to be the time to inquire.

"No, I haven't Harry. You?"

"No." I'd spent enough time in Snape's office, especially with those failed Occlumency lessons, but I didn't recall ever seeing this place before, not even in any of Snape's memories.

"It's really dark." I could see the half sneer on Draco's curled upper lip. He didn't mean the lighting either. It looked almost as if the place had been carved out of the stone the castle was built on. The walls were grey, the countless bookshelves black, the floor, something in between with a splash of brown thrown in for flavor. All the furniture was ebony wood; with great, carved handles that looked as though they would just as soon take a bite of you, as provide a way to open their charges. The fireplace, stone, of course, took up much of the far wall, which must have been an outside wall to have a proper flue, unless it was magical of course, and the center of the room was overpowered with a great desk and credenza set, one door of which was hanging quite askew, and must have been what drove Filch from the room. And that was just the sitting area, I was afraid of what the bedroom must look like.

"I can't believe he lived here, like this, all those years." I spun slowly. I mean, it fit his personality, or the one he let everyone see at least. I guess I had just hoped that his whole life hadn't been miserable and lost like he let on at the end, when he gave me all his memories. I had wanted there to be something happy and joyful in his life, but this place certainly wasn't it.

"How do you want to do this Harry?"

"Maybe start with the book shelves and check out everything there for curses and traps before we start pulling them off?" It seemed a reasonable place to start, and a big enough task to keep us going for a few hours. Draco summoned a few boxes from a hall and placed them down in front of the first bookcase and we got to work.

Sure enough, the bookcase had a hex on it, but it wasn't hard to spot, with the right spells, and the swarm of beetles stayed put in their magical little sleep as we moved their cage from the top of the shelf to one of the boxes, sealing it, and putting it in the hall immediately. Moving one book at a time, with our wands, and behind magical shields; protegio spells work quite well, we cleared out the first case in about thirty minutes. The second case had glass doors which wouldn't open with the 'alohomora' spells, so that took us a little longer to get around. Those were the Dark Arts books, and moving too close to their glass front caused a fine static-like noise, which had me concerned. The charm on them turned out to be one that turned the glass outwards into razor-like shards if anything touched it, but a charm to freeze it into ice, from Draco's wand, and then heat it to steam took care of them and we packed up another few boxes, pausing every once in a while to read the titles of the books. We didn't dare open any of them, figuring they had their own curses.

Fortunately Snape hadn't cursed every bookshelf, and the final ones took only a few minutes each to pack up. That might have made us a little cocky in retrospect. We figured that Filch had probably already trigged the noxious curse from the credenza, so we moved to that one next and unloaded scrolls, and boxes of potions paraphernalia like scales and measuring spoons, and phials. Some containers still had mixtures or powders in them, and as we had no desire to sort out what each one could be, we sealed them in boxes as well, figuring the new potions master could take his or her time discovering them. Hermione and Pansy probably would have enjoyed going through them, and who knew, maybe that's where they were destined to go after us. At that point it seemed safe enough to start up a bit of a conversation.

"Do you have any notion of who Professor McGonagall has hired on as our new professors Draco?"

"I have heard some talk that one of them is coming over from France, but I don't know which one, and if it's even true."

"Well, you've heard more than I have I guess."

"Some of the girls gossip in the common room, it wasn't as if they were sharing the information with me, I just happened to be there at the time. Mostly they don't notice me much these days."

"Yeah, I guess I know what that's like." Memories of the time, times, when my house mates had ignored me, falling victim to the lies of The Prophet about my ulterior motives for claiming the re-emergence of Voldemort. There had been a lot of sleepless nights with twisted up stomachs back then too. "Their loss anyways Draco." I smiled at him, wanting to give him some measure of comfort, and brushed an errant piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Thanks."

"Find anything interesting?"

"Sadly no, but maybe in the desk." Having finished his side of the credenza he pivoted, being the closest one to the desk, and pulled open the bottom drawer.

I felt the explosion more than heard it, like a thump in my chest that knocked the wind out of me for an uncomfortable few seconds, and if it had been bad for me, I knew it would have been worse for Draco who had taken the full force of it. It had knocked me to my knees, and I whirled upright as fast as I could to reach Draco.

He was lying on his back, still breathing, thank goodness, I could see the rise and fall of his chest, but he was covered with a thick black tar-like substance, which had left a splatter pattern on his shirt and splashed up onto his face and into his hair. If I hadn't been so worried about his safety it might almost have been funny. I didn't laugh, which was a good choice.

"Bloody Hell!" He called out, and then I knew he was okay. I helped him to sit up. "Did that sot have to booby trap everything he owned? Where did he get off thinking he was so damned important as all that!" Draco had interspersed the statement with a few choice curse words, which didn't add to the story, so I've left them out.

"Why don't you go into the bathroom and see if you can get cleaned up."

"Merlin only knows what kind of horror will meet me in there." He mumbled, but fortunately, nothing did, probably because the house elves needed access there and he didn't dare start endangering them. I heard the water start running, another string of curse words, and some furious splashing. I chanced to look into the drawer; a crystal decanter and two glasses. Snape had been protecting his liquor; I shook my head in amazement, it must have been pretty expensive to warrant a guardian like that.

"I think he's ruined my shirt!" I heard Draco call from the bathroom. I got up off the floor and wandered over there. Draco hadn't known I was going to do that, or he hadn't been thinking about it at least, because when I got to the door he had left open I saw him standing there without his shirt, back turned to me, and I don't think the image of his body just then will ever leave my mind.


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Friends, I hope that this chapter will make up for the shorter one that preceded it. It is the plot development many of you have been waiting for, and I cannot wait to hear what you think.

Cheers, and thanks, as always.

Merick

Chapter Eighteen

Pain is something that you never really forget, as much as you convince yourself that you have. Okay, maybe that's too general a statement. Hermione told me once; and I may be giving things away here, please forgive me, that giving birth to her first child had been difficult, and painful, but that every thought of it disappeared the moment they put her child in her arms. I tend to believe her; pain that has a good end can quickly be forgotten in the joy it brings. But other pain, pain inflicted for evil purposes, to hurt, to main, to demoralize and crush, I don't think that pain ever goes away. I don't think Hermione ever really forgot the pain of the crutiatus curse, just as I can still feel the pain from the tortures inflicted on me. And the pain of loss, I don't think that ever really goes away either, it just kind of dulls till the ache is a part of your everyday existence, and you go on. I saw the pain written across Draco's back, and the pain in his eyes as he realized I had seen him, just before he slammed the door in my face with a terrible scream of 'Get Away!'.

Let me explain. His back was a lacey patchwork of white, pink and red welts, scarred lines that crisscrossed the normally pale surface in every which way. The white ones were the oldest I guessed, the red, the newest; still angry looking, still betraying the rage of the person who had inflicted them on him. And there was only one person with that kind of rage that I could think of; Voldemort.

"Draco? My God?" I started to say, and that was when he slammed the door at me, and I heard his own rage betray itself in a horrible cry, which weakened to audible sobbing.

"Oh God." I said to no one in particular, frozen to the spot for a moment, unable to get past the vision of his wounds. He'd need a new shirt, that was one thing my mind could process as it sought to find some kind of meaning in what I had seen. I ignored the obvious for that moment and ran into the bedroom throwing open the wardrobe, not caring if it was hexed or not. At least Severus had remained true to form there, hanging from the rod were at least a dozen properly pressed black shirts. I yanked one down, sent the hanger flying goodness knew where, and hurried back to the bathroom. It was quiet once again, and I chanced to knock at the door.

"Draco?" I figured on what kind of answer I was going to get.

"Go away Harry." It was about what I had expected, sounding as miserable and downcast as I had ever heard his voice.

"I brought you a new shirt." I offered hopefully, holding it in front of me, not that he could see it.

The door opened just a bit and I pushed the shirt towards it. Trembling fingers took it up and made my heart just ache for him. He left the door slightly ajar as he dressed, I didn't dare push it in any further, figuring he'd come out when he was ready. In fact, I backed up, retreating to the desk area again so it wouldn't be overwhelming for him; me being right in his face and all. I watched the door open all the way, cautiously.

"I'm still here." I sort of whispered, in case he didn't see me right away.

He looked terrible when he came out; let me qualify that. He looked fine dress-wise, the shirt fit him well, and the black suited him. He had managed to wash all the goop off his face and out of his hair, so he was clean, if not a little soggy and tousled from finger combing his blond hair. He had let it fall over his eyes again, but even that didn't help conceal their red rims, and the tear-stained cheeks. I felt like absolute shit for having been made party to his secret in that way, and even worse, if that was possible when he looked at me, because the haunted liquid of his gaze betrayed all the pain, brought back fresh.

"I'm so sorry Draco."

He smiled at me weakly, what else was there to say?

"What happened?"

"The dark lord did not care for failure. Apparently I failed a great many things in his eyes." He was trying so hard to hold it together; I could hear the strain in his voice.

"Come and sit down." I motioned for one of the two chairs around Snape's desk, the one on the far side, away from the drawer he had opened. He moved towards it slowly, and hesitantly sat. He made to object when I reached into the drawer, but having lifted out the decanter I could see him relax just a little.

"That's what he was guarding? A bloody bottle of port?" Apparently Draco could tell his liquors better than I. I brought forth the glasses next. "It better be bleeding expensive."

"I think he owes the both of us at least one drink."

"Probably more." Draco muttered. I pored out tumblers for us both.

Draco took his in a not so delicate grip, sniffed it roughly and shot it back. He put the glass back down on the table.

"Not bad." I refilled his glass before even touching my own; he needed it more than I did. Only when he had a second glass in hand did I take a sip. It was really good, rich and smooth, like syrup that made your toes tingle. Okay, I admit, I wasn't much of a drinker. Butterbeer didn't really count, and firewhisky, well, that was more of a dare than a drink. I watched Draco shoot back his second glass, perhaps a little bit more slowly, but not by much. He filled his own glass for a third time.

"Do you think that you should let Madam Pomfrey have a look at your back? Maybe she can help?"

"You don't think I tried every healing spell I could think of Harry?" His response wasn't sharp, more resigned. "I don't want anyone else to know, please, promise me you won't tell anyone."

"Of course Draco."

"They'll fade, eventually I imagine. He meant them to last."

"Coward."

"Why do you say that?" His voice became that small, closed up one again, the one that I was starting to hate because now I better appreciated what had created it, and how he had been broken.

"A powerful wizard like that, taking things out on a teenager. It makes him a coward. It's easy to attack someone weaker than you."

"You faced him."

"I had an advantage, I had part of him inside me. And I had the magic of so many people who had faced him before me." I referred to Dumbledore, and Severus, my parents, and Cedric, even Sirius. "I had their strength, and important knowledge. I wasn't really facing him alone."

"I wish I had had your strength."

"It wasn't about that Draco." I reached out a hand, I don't know why, and placed it over one of his, the one that wasn't clutching the port like a lifeline. I held it for a moment as I spoke. "I didn't have anything else to lose Draco. He'd taken my parents, my godfather, my peace of mind; the only thing I had left was my life. He had your home, your mother, all hostage."

He sniffled a bit, I didn't meet his eyes, I gave him that dignity, and then he started talking.

Now let me just add that I know I just wrote that Draco asked me not to tell anyone about the scars, and you may think that me writing about them, and how he got them is breaking that promise. But let me assure you, when I told him that I wanted to record all this he gave me his blessing. So don't feel bad about reading what follows.

The first beating came when Draco returned home after the debacle at the Ministry, when Lucius had allowed, according to Voldemort, the prophecy to be destroyed. His father in Azkaban, Voldemort took out his anger on the son.

"I thought, when he summoned me, that he was going to kill me. The look in his eyes was beyond rage, it was white hot, and so was the lash from his wand. I screamed, I couldn't help it; the pain was beyond belief Harry. He fed on it. When I failed to kill Dumbledore on his orders, the punishment was just as savage, and his glee in hearing me scream was psychotic. When I tried to keep quiet it only made him more brutal. When he took over our house he punished me for any perceived transgression, and used it to keep my parents in line." His voice wavered, there was a tiny sob, and again I kept my eyes down, my hand over his. "I hated them for not helping me Harry."

"I'm so sorry Draco."

He continued. "I wanted him to just kill me. When the beatings weren't enough to make me scream, he found other ways." I felt him tremble under my hand, whatever those other ways were; their scars went a great deal deeper than the ones on his back. He finished off his third glass, and I noticed that the alcohol was beginning to affect him. His words were becoming more languid, and his movements more slow and exaggerated.

"I didn't want to kill Dumbledore Harry."

"I know Draco, but if it gives you any peace, he was already dead before you even tried to kill him."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Dumbledore was already dead, dying because of a curse. He had a year at most. But he knew about the plot, and asked Severus to deliver the final blow, to save your soul."

"How do you know this?"

"Severus told me, well, showed me, with the legilimency. Before he died, he gave me all that knowledge." I had another long drink of my port, wanting its warmth and courage just then.

"What else did he tell you?"

I didn't know what else I should say; I didn't want to make his pain any worse. I thought of the only good thing I could on the spot, and after I had said it I wondered at the choice. "Your mother and aunt asked Severus to protect you, even at the cost of his own life, and he agreed."

"That's why Voldemort couldn't kill me." I wasn't quite following. "He must have suspected an unbreakable vow of some kind, knowing that if he killed me that he might have others close to him turn on him, beyond just my parents." The way he spoke was almost dreamy, an eerie, resigned sort of tone like he was looking back on his own life as if it was someone else's. It worried me. He tried to stand up, and ended up wobbling so badly he had to grab hold of the desk to steady himself. I darted around to his side to help him.

It was obvious he was in no shape to go down to the Great hall for dinner, which would be starting soon, and I certainly couldn't walk him back through the hallways like that; not without getting us both into a great deal of trouble. The only option seemed to be to let him sleep it off, so with an arm under his shoulders, and his around my neck I walked him over to the bedroom and helped him to first sit, and then lay back onto Severus' bed. Feeling a little wobbly myself I sat down beside him, and eventually lay down as well. He turned to face me.

"We have so much in common Harry. I don't know why we didn't see it before."

I let him talk, not sure how much of it was rambling because of the Port, and how much was pent up truth that now finally had the courage, and a vehicle to show itself.

"We've both been used." I couldn't disagree with him there. "Made to do things because we were told it was our destiny, our birthrights, nothing we could even walk away from."

"We've both lost our families because of it. I lost my father when he pleaded guilty to the charges against him, and was sentenced to Azkaban for ten years. I don't even know what will be left of him when he comes out."

"But you still have your mother Draco."

His miserable little smile was back, and I knew I'd said the wrong thing for sure that time as his eyes began to mist, obscuring the beautiful blue with clouds.

"She left, a few weeks before school started."

"What?" I hadn't known that, I don't think anyone had.

"She couldn't stand the way people looked at her, and grew silent as she approached; or worse, chose not to hide their hatred. She felt trapped in the house, scared to go out for anything for fear of that disdain. And the house, every turn reminded her of Voldemort's presence, and my father's. As did I. She couldn't even say goodbye to me Harry. Left me a note, asking that I not follow her."

"Where did she go?"

"I think she had cousins in Germany, that's my best guess, because she just walked away from everything here."

"You're all alone?"

"Just like you Harry. Alone, with a big, empty house that just has memories around every corner. That's part of the reason I came back here, I had to get away from it, from them. All I really have now is you." He laughed just a little, not in jest but in self-pity.

"You and I." He reached out a hand to touch my forehead, and he brushed away the bangs. "Two people scarred by Voldemort."

The water in his eyes made them absolutely sparkle, and I looked into his face more carefully than I ever had before. His skin was pale, made even more so by the blond hair that framed it. It made his mouth stand out red, quivering just slightly as it was then. His hand had remained on my face, and I felt the smooth warmth of his fingertips; in sharp contrast to the sting I so often remembered from my scar. As I continued to watch him, his hand slid down the side of my face slowly, around behind my neck, and he pulled me closer to him.

I might have realized what was happening; I must have, but I did nothing to stop him as he pushed his mouth softly against mine and took a breath from my lips. It was only a second before I felt him slip away, and when I opened my eyes to him I saw that he had fallen into sleep. His chest was moving regularly, his head sunken into the pillow; hands now slack at his side. I rolled onto my back with only one thought obscuring everything else at that point.

'Oh my God, Draco Malfoy just kissed me.'


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

'Oh my God, Draco Malfoy just kissed me.'

I shot up out of the bed; there was no trace of fog left in my brain at that point I can assure you.

'He was drunk.' I tried to rationalize it.

I knew I had to get out of the bedroom, and I retreated to the main sitting room, looking back at the desk with the two emptied tumblers. I smelled the bottoms of the glasses, and then the bottle, tested them with a spell for potions and poisons; nope, nothing but regular alcohol therein. I could find no other sinister culprit.

'Draco Malfoy got drunk and then kissed me.'

I had to get that thought out of my head. I cleaned the glasses with another spell, re-corked the decanter, and hid them all back away in the desk.

'It had to be because he was drunk.'

I continued the conversation with myself in my head, probably because of the shock of the whole thing.

'Why the hell would he kiss me?'

I looked back at him sleeping on the bed and thought of another problem.

'I have to get him out of here without anybody seeing us.'

I checked my watch, dinner would be starting in just a few moments, the dorms would be deserted, and that might be my only hope. But I couldn't just levitate him out into the halls, I didn't have my invisibility cloak with me, who'd thought I'd need it today, besides, I didn't know the Slytherin password to get him back to his own bed. I couldn't just sit there and watch him until he woke up, I had to stop looking at him or the rapid voices in my head weren't going to stop.

'Draco Malfoy kissed me.'

Bloody Hell, I finally cursed out loud. I wondered if I shouldn't just retrieve that bottle and have another drink to calm my own nerves. I thought better of that fairly quickly.

'I need help, but someone who won't ask me any questions.' That let out Ron and Hermione for sure, they might have done a lot of strange things at my behest in the past, but there was no way they were going to let this one go. Professor Sinistra? Nope, another bad one there, she'd have to report Draco for being drunk, and he had enough problems as it was, and I just couldn't do that to him.

'Kreacher?' Yes, that could work. I waited a few more minutes, till I was certain that the dinner tables would be full, and not quite knowing if it would work or not, spoke his name, and a quiet plea out loud.

"Kreacher, I need your help, please."

Now don't ask me how it happened, I still know very little about house elves even to this day, but with a tiny little pop, there he was in front of me. House elf magic apparently transcended the no apparating spells around the castle grounds.

"Master needs help?"

"Oh thank God Kreacher." His little face beamed, as much as a house elf can beam, at the obvious relief in my voice. "Kreacher, my friend Draco has had too much to drink and I need to get him back to his own bed without anyone seeing us, I don't want him to get into trouble. Can you help me?"

"Of course Harry Potter, Kreacher knows many passages around the castle, and has many elves to help him. No one will see, I promise master that Kreacher will make Draco Malfoy safe."

"It's just really important that no one sees him like this."

"Master Harry Potter mustn't worry, Draco Malfoy is friend of Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy will be safe with Kreacher."

"Thank you so much Kreacher." I had no doubt of the little house elf's words or his spirit. He shooed me off to my dinner so that I would not find my own trouble and promptly took charge of Draco.

The Great Hall was still set up in rounds and I found Ron and Hermione, as well as Neville and Luna just ready to tuck into their dinners. Ginny was at another table with some of her girl friends, and Dean and a few other boys, I was really not interested in who they were and I got myself settled with my friends, apologizing for my tardiness.

Another house elf appeared with a wink, which I supposed was a message from Kreacher, and handed me a clean plate and set of silverware. I helped myself to the dishes spread out on the table, and took a long drink of juice. I hadn't realized how dry the glass of port had left my mouth, or perhaps it was the panic. I wanted to forget for a while, but unknowingly my friends made that difficult.

"So where's Draco then?" Hermione asked, as if she had expected him to join us. I realized that I did like that sentiment on her part.

"He was headed back to his dorm first, I'm sure he's around somewhere." I lied, but I didn't feel bad about it, his drinking had been a good part my fault, it was me that had discovered his secret, and had forced him back into those memories.

"He probably wants to sit with some of the Slytherin anyways." Ron added as he helped himself to another ladle-full of stew. "He can't spend all his time with you Harry, people will talk."

I laughed nervously, and took a bite of my own dinner, trying not to choke.

"Any plans for the evening then?" Ron continued. "Going back to work on Snape's room?"

"No, I think I'll leave that be till tomorrow."

"Excellent, then a game of wizard's chess?"

Ron was an excellent chess player, and the game was just what I needed to distract me right then. I agreed happily, anything to take my mind off of Draco. It's not that I wasn't concerned about him, I was, but I didn't want to think back to that kiss, because every time I did I got this uncomfortable fluttering in my chest. Ron beat me, of course, I never did have much luck beating him at chess, and that was okay with me. It was like being back to our first years at Hogwarts, mostly carefree; except that large-scale version we'd had to play, but I didn't want to think about that either. Hermione was tucked up in a chair behind Ron reading another book, the fireplace in the common room was crackling merrily, and it was so blissfully benign for a while.

I even felt good heading up to my bed, I can't explain the calm, but it was nice. I had pulled off my shirt when I heard a familiar 'pop' behind me and turned to find Kreacher.

"Master's friend Draco is still sleeping, all safe. Kreacher will check on him again in a few hours."

"Thank you Kreacher." He held his hand out for my shirt.

"Give to Kreacher, I will take care of it for Master."

"Kreacher?"

"Yes Master?"

"I want to ask you something."

"Of course, another task? Kreacher is happy to help Master Harry Potter."

"No, not a task Kreacher; something for you to think about. I wonder, when school is over, if you would consider coming back to the house with me?"

"If Master orders Kreacher he will come."

"I don't want to order you Kreacher. I want to invite you. I need you. I can't cook, or look after myself very well. And, well, I don't want to be alone there. I really would like to have a friend at home."

"Kreacher will always look after Harry Potter."

"If it's what you want Kreacher, I know you like it here at Hogwarts, and you have lots of friends here, and I have made a lot of renovations to the place, so you might not recognize it. I can't offer you much except me as a companion. Oh, and your own room, and we'll buy you nice furniture, and I'll even give you a wage for everything." I noticed I was still talking rapidly, as my brain had been doing to me earlier. I now recognize it as nervousness on my part.

"A room, furniture, wages?" Kreacher didn't seem to understand what I was offering initially.

"Yes, Kreacher, so it will be your home too? And you'll have money to buy things for yourself, things you like."

"Kreacher likes shinny, pretty things."

"Will you think about it?"

"Already have, Kreacher will be honored to live with and look after Master Harry Potter. And Harry Potter will not be alone, Harry Potter will have many friends come to visit; Hermione and Ron and Draco friends, and Kreacher will make wonderful food for all to share, and everyone will be happy."

I wanted to cry at that, I think I was just so overwhelmed with everything that had been going on, that I didn't have the energy left to hold them back. And besides, Kreacher didn't care if a few tears leaked down my cheeks anyways.

"Have a look at these catalogues and pick out whatever you want for your room Kreacher and we'll order it." I held out the furniture catalogue to him.

He took the booklet from me hesitantly; though once I had let go of it he clutched it to his chest as if it was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

"My room?"

"Your room Kreacher."

I had never seen Kreacher smile so wide before, it practically swallowed his whole face and it was so genuine and beautiful to me. He scurried off with a little bow and I crawled into bed, closed my eyes and willed sleep to take me.

It didn't; at least not right away.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Let me start by saying a couple of things. I don't much care for dreams. In my experience I have had too many manipulated, and have had too many dashed to actively seek them out. If I'd had more of the sleeping draught I would have taken it that night, but sadly I did not, having used it up dealing with the DADA and Ginny anxieties. So, since I didn't have any, even though my eyes were closed, I wasn't sleeping. There was a whole bushel of hamsters running around on their blasted squeaky wheels in my brain; I hate hamsters.

In the quiet this particular furry flock was making me relive that kiss, over and over again, despite my best attempts to push the memory away. It would start with the glimpse of Draco's scarred back, and move to an imaginary image of me reaching out for him, brushing my fingers across the welts, feeling them as alternatively warm, or cold, knotted or swollen, and then progress to following him to the bedroom; not at all what had happened I note. I would watch him in this waking dream, as he lay down, and watch his hands as he reached out for me, and remember the real touch of his fingertips as he had drawn them down the scar on my forehead. They were gentle and purposeful as he traced the lightening zigzag there, and even more so as they continued down the side of my face, curling around the nap of my neck. It felt as though I could not catch my breath as I relived the moment, it wasn't so much an ache in my chest, but desperate little pants as I waited for what was to come.

His mouth was soft, as I felt its touch over and over, his breath warm, and his fingers more insistent pulling me to him. Seconds stretched into minutes as I drew out every nuance. The tip of his nose had brushed my cheek, his lips had parted mine, and my jaw had relaxed; relaxed? I hadn't remembered that the first half dozen times through the memory. His chest, his chest had touched mine as we kissed, and I had felt a shudder run across it in that brief moment. I opened my eyes to him, as he pulled away, but his were not lost in sleep yet, I saw them, I swore I had seen them stare deeply at me, with a consciousness of thought that could not have been alcohol induced.

My own eyes flew open, met by the dark of my dorm room. He had known what he was doing, hadn't he? It hadn't been the alcohol had it? Or was I painting a picture of something that had never happened because I couldn't face the thought that my first assumptions had been correct?

I realized, lying there, that I wanted there to have been that recognition, because, and this was hard for me to wrap my brain around just then, I had wanted that kiss to be real. The sickness in my gut was coming, not from revulsion at the thought of Draco kissing me, but from the confusion of my own feelings about it. It had been tender, and innocent, and I could finally admit to myself, after so many hours of introspection, that I had liked it.

That revelation brought its own crop of anxieties.

Exhaustion had finally taken over and forced my body into sleep. I awoke, late, not feeling particularly rested, but feeling a little better than when I had laid down. I still didn't have a clue as to what was true and what was my own imagination, and I had filled my mind with fantasies, or rather, my subconscious, freed from the shackles of my waking brain had gone to town. The one thing I was sure of, or at least though I was sure of, was that I wasn't going to bring it up with Draco unless he asked me about it, because if I was wrong I wasn't about to embarrass him, or make him feel uncomfortable, or drive him away. Patience was one thing I did have.

I didn't see him at breakfast, and he wasn't in Snape's rooms when I went there afterwards. That was okay though, it gave me a chance to get back into the bedroom and start packing up the closets, without having to think too much about what had happened there the night before. I figured if I did everything by hand I would have to concentrate harder so I started folding shirts and pants and packing them into boxes. I continued to wonder what was going to become of all these things. I hadn't known Snape to have ad any family. I guessed that the books, the ones that didn't deal in the Dark Arts, would end up in the school library after Miss Pince had her wand over them. The others would probably go to the Ministry; I might even see them again during my Auror training. The clothing, perhaps it would be donated to less fortunate wizards, the personal effects, well I didn't have a clue about their disposition. I was about to strip the bed when I heard the hall door open. I took a deep breath, pasted a smile on my face and turned to see Draco.

He looked good, better than I had imagined he would. Okay that isn't quite true either. I imagined him looking good; and that was my subconscious hamsters at work there, but I didn't 'think' he'd look as good as he was managing after the emotional upset, and port of the night before.

He was back to his usual attire. This time a long sleeved knit shirt with a collar, and his usual khakis for the weekend.

"Hey Draco, how are you feeling?" I tried to sound casual, but I know I sounded more hesitant than I wanted to.

"I'm okay Harry. Your house elf brought me something to drink this morning that took away my headache."

"Kreacher."

"Yes, that was him." His expressions looked as nervous as mine felt. "He's a good little person."

"Yes, I'm very lucky to have him around. Hermione was right, it really is amazing how much you get in return for a little kindness to other magical beings."

"Smart girl your Hermione."

Our conversation was positively banal, and that in itself was disconcerting. Draco's next question cemented that feeling.

"So Harry? Umm, what happened yesterday?"

I had been dreading that question.

"What do you remember?" I was going to make this as open-ended as I could.

"I know I had way too much to drink in a really short period of time."

"Yeah, sorry about that, I should have stopped you."

"It wasn't your fault, I should have better ways of coping I guess. I remember telling you about my mom."

"Yes, I'm really sorry about that too."

"You don't have to be sorry about everything Harry. I just want to know how I got back to my room yesterday."

"Kreacher took you. I didn't think I'd be able to get in past your portrait."

"Probably wouldn't have." By this time he had moved over to the bed, and was standing across it from me. He reached down to grab a handful of the comforter and made to start pulling it towards himself, and then he stopped. "I didn't do anything stupid last night did I?"

"Of course not Draco." Though when I said it I couldn't meet his eyes.

"I blathered on about my miserable lot in life for awhile didn't I?"

"You have every right to unburden yourself Draco," I swallowed, "I'm really glad you felt that we were close enough that you could trust me." I must have sounded terribly nervous.

"And you're sure I didn't do anything stupid?"

"I promise Draco, nothing you did was stupid." I don't know if the look in his eyes was relief, or sadness. I didn't know if he believed what I was saying, or how he had taken it, but I didn't want to stay in that void for too long. "Look, I'll finish up in here if you want to get the rest of the desk packed up?"

"Umm, yeah, sure, it'll go faster that way."

"Then we can get out of this place for good." I went back to the bedding, but watched him leave the bedroom. His shoulders were slumped, but I suppose that wasn't completely unusual for him anymore. I wondered if I should call him back to help me, but then I thought that he might just prefer being alone for a bit.

Okay, yes, I know, I'm an idiot.

I finished up the bedroom in silence, and moved the boxes out to the main room; levitating them with my wand. Draco had finished up the desk, and it looked as though we were pretty much done. I put a stupid little smile on my face for him because he looked so distraught though I had no idea what to say to make him feel better.

"You up to anything this afternoon Harry?"

"Ron asked me to go flying around the Quidditch Pitch with him." They had put off try-outs for a week because of the DADA challenge, but they were supposed to start up on Tuesday after classes.

Draco just nodded.

"Did you want to come along?" I offered, hesitantly. (Yes, I know, I already admitted I was an idiot.)

"No, that's okay, I have an Arthrimancy project I should do." Hermione had the same one; she'd mentioned it last evening.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you should hang out more with your Gryffindor friends anyways." The way he said it was so resigned, he wouldn't meet my eyes, and I just knew then, or thought I did, that he remembered the kiss and was ashamed by it. I thought all he wanted right then was to be rid of me. I didn't know what to do, and so I did absolutely the wrong thing; told him I'd catch up with him at dinner, and I left. In my defense, my gut was working up a storm of biblical proportions at that point, but still I left.

I met up with my friends for lunch, let Minerva know that Draco and I were finished with Snape's rooms, got my broom, and spent the afternoon darting around the pitch. Once again it was a blissful sense of normalcy, which gave me a break from worrying about Draco, and Ginny and most everything else.

Pumped full of adrenalin, which obscured my common sense, I went down to dinner with my house, enjoyed the food and the laughter, and felt a part of Gryffindor again. At east until Professor Sinistra came walking down the row that separated our table from Ravenclaw, staring right at me.


	21. Chapter 21

I have been waiting to write this chapter for days, maybe weeks, it was one of the first scenes that came to my mind. I hope it pleases you, and that in my excitement to put it to paper (as it were), that I have done it justice.

Enjoy

Merick

Chapter Twenty-One

Did I mention before that doing favors for Professors usually gets me into trouble? Probably. And that was why I felt sick just watching Professor Sinistra approach. It didn't help that most of the Slytherins, and Gryffindors were watching her as well.

I hate being the center of attention.

Professor Sinistra was quite cognizant of the stares we were both receiving, but she had the great strength of character; which I envied right then rather desperately, to ignore it all.

"Mr. Potter, I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, might I have a word with you?" Her tone was measured, even, and betrayed none of the anxiety, which I found out soon enough, was filling her heart.

"Of course Professor." I stood immediately; one, to be respectful of her, and two, to get away from the eyes that were staring at me. I followed her down the aisle towards the massive doors to the hall. Behind me I heard a half sneer.

"Working for Slytherin again are you? Maybe you should just change houses Harry." I stopped dead in my tracks. Professor Sinistra, only a few steps ahead of me could not have failed to hear that. And she hadn't. It was the first crack in her veneer that I saw that night. She turned, slowly, mostly composed and stared fire directly at Ginny.

"I'll see you tomorrow night after dinner in the Astronomy tower for detention Miss Weasley."

I didn't want to turn around and look at Ginny. I kept my eyes on the Professor. I didn't want Ginny to see and misinterpret anything on my face. If anyone at that table didn't know she'd broken up with me yet, they knew then.

"It's all right Professor, it doesn't bother me." I tried to get her off the hook and to diffuse what could have been an ugly situation for me later.

"Just the same Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley needs to know that it is inappropriate to voice her opinions about subjects of which she has no knowledge."

"Really Professor, it's okay."

"She should appreciate your quick forgiveness Mr. Potter, never the less she needs to understand that such interference may result in harsher consequences than an evening of organizing charts and tables. Seven o'clock Miss Weasley." And she turned back to lead the way out of the hall. I followed. The Gryffindor table behind me was silent.

"Professor what is it?" She had stopped, near to the great foyer of the castle, letting a hand rest on a stone column. Her shoulders fell forward and her head sank. It looked as though the one pale hand, resting on the carved channels was the only thing supporting her. She turned around to me; a terrible haunted look in her eyes, so similar to that in Draco's. And right then I just knew something was wrong.

"What's happened to him?"

"He's in the Astronomy tower. He isn't in a good way Harry." I think it was the first time she had used my given name.

"On the parapets?"

"Yes."

"How?" I knew she hadn't opened the observatory to students yet.

"I believe he flew up."

"How much do you know about what has happened to him Professor?" I hated asking, this was a confidence I was about to betray, and I hoped Draco would forgive me.

"I know a great deal Harry. I know how he was tortured by the Dark Lord, and I know that his mother has left him."

"How do you know this?"

"Narcissa sent a letter to me, asking that I keep him safe because she could no longer do it."

I let out the breath that I had been holding in. At least it was not me who had betrayed him.

"And what has happened?"

"A post arrived for him this afternoon, I did not think I should give the letter to him, I could sense that the news would not be good, but it was from his mother. I felt he should have it."

"Do you know what was in it?"

She hung her head down and could no longer look at me; her green eyes were filling with tears. I could not believe that she was allowing me to see her like that.

"I do." Her voice warbled with unsteadiness. "Draco is going to have a sister."

"What?" I was astounded and confused, but there was no time to process it.

"His mother was pregnant when she fled. The child does not belong to her husband."

"Lucius isn't the father, but then," I had to let my words trail off; the ramifications were too terrible to explore.

"Voldemort."

"She slept with Voldemort?" I wanted to be angry, indignant; she had taken the man who was torturing her son to her bed?

"She was raped Harry, repeatedly as she confided in me when she left."

"But why keep the child?" I couldn't understand that choice.

"I cannot speak for her Harry. But her time has drawn short, and she knew she would have to tell Draco. However she hurt him by running, she still loves him."

"And now he knows?"

"And has fled to the tower."

"Can't you bring him down?"

"It isn't me he needs to talk to Harry. It's you." She took two steps towards me and pushed something into my hand. The skeleton key was warm from being clutched in her fist. "Please Harry, you are the only one who can help him."

"I don't understand Professor."

"It has been foretold in the stars Harry, Castor and Pollux," a pause, "please."

I didn't completely understand, but I knew enough, Castor and Pollux, the twins, one who gave up his total immortality to save the other. It didn't matter just then because my feet were moving, running to the tower. I left her behind and I ran for Draco, because I understood enough.

Eighteen year olds have relatively simple lives; mostly. Flashes of maturity, normally overwhelmed by extended periods of narcissism. Most of my day had been spent in narcissism; a self-centered desire to do things that pleased me. Hanging out with my friends, practicing Quidditch, eating good rich food that I didn't have to prepare myself. Normally this would have been okay, we're entitled to those kind of days; me maybe more than most. (See, there's the narcissism coming through again, I'm not really entitled to more than anyone else, but sometimes it just seems like I should be.) But that evening, I felt like crap, and the knots in my stomach were back as I raced up the tower steps, and it wasn't just because I was out of shape either thank you very much, I was in pretty decent shape. It was because I had known something was wrong with Draco, because I knew that I should have done something to deal with it before, let him know that I was there for him, but I took the easy way out and now I didn't know what it had cost him.

The key was in the lock and I was flinging the door opened before I had even stopped long enough to figure out what I was going to say to him.

"Draco!"

All was silent for a few seconds.

"Go away." He was directly across from the door, perched on one of the stone cutouts in the archways, one foot dangling over to the inside edge of the wall, the other, knee bent, resting on the edge that led to the open air. His broom was leaned up against the wall at his back. He had changed back into the black shirt we had purloined from Snape's closet, well, that I had purloined from Snape's closet, and back pants, which only made the pale of his skin and the platinum of his hair more striking, especially as the sunset was beginning behind him and the orange glow of the sky was providing a further halo to his form.

"No." I stepped into the room and closed the door behind myself. He turned his face to me as if to confront me, but his spirit wasn't there. The crimson flame behind him magnified the reddened rims of his eyes where he had been fighting back tears, and the liquid that pooled there made the usually reflective blue into a murky cloud. I could see him breathing, each gasp was an exaggerated movement translated in his chest, his shoulders and his lips. It seemed a struggle to simply 'be' right at that point and I felt my own heart breaking for him.

"Talk to me Draco."

"Did Professor Sinistra tell you to come find me here?"

"She told me you were here." He sniffled at that answer.

"So it was your idea to come?"

"I was worried about you."

"Why? Why would you be at all concerned with me Harry Potter?"

"You're in a bad place Draco, let me help you."

"Did she give you those words along with the key to get in here?"

"Draco, please."

"Did she tell you about my mother? About my soon to arrive stepsister?"

"Yes." I felt awful admitting that to him.

"I really have nothing left anymore Harry. Voldemort has taken everything from me. My family, my home, my peace of mind, all gone." He looked back out to the skies. "What he didn't destroy, I did."

"Draco, that isn't true." I took a few more steps towards him cautiously.

"What part of it isn't true Harry? I had one thing here at Hogwarts, one person, one friend, and that was you. And I pushed you away, getting drunk, telling you how miserable my life has been. If that kind of story doesn't make people run then finding out my half sister is the product of the rape of my mother by one of the most evil beings to ever walk this earth, well that surely will."

"Draco, I'm still here." A few more steps, my wand concealed in my right sleeve. If he was going to fall I was going to stop him.

"I kissed you Harry! I fell apart and I kissed you, laid everything on the line and you turned away! Not that I blame you, I was an idiot."

"You aren't an idiot, I'm sorry about the way I reacted, I just didn't know, didn't understand if the kiss meant anything, or if it was a product of the alcohol, I didn't want to embarrass you Draco, or make you feel worse." I reached out my left hand and took a hold of his wrist, and I held on, maybe tighter than I should have, pulling him off the ledge and towards me. He slid awkwardly down to stand, two feet solidly on the floor, but still I held on to him.

"You must hate me." His voice was so weak my own eyes began to tear up.

"Don't assume that Draco, because it isn't true." I pulled him to me and wrapped my right arm around his back, forcing him into an embrace where I knew he would be momentarily safe. I felt his chest heave as he looped his arms slackly around my waist, and rested his head on my shoulder. "Draco, we will find a way through this, I promise you." I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger for just a moment on his smooth skin, tasting just a hint of the tears that had so lately been there.

He raised his head and looked up at me, again his eyes were the brilliant blue I remembered, full of confusion.

"Do you pity me Harry?"

"I would be the last one who could do that Draco."

"Then what?"

I looked into those eyes, let my grip on his wrist drop finally and wrapped my left arm around his back. I could feel the ridges of the scars under the cotton fabric, and tried not to hurt him. With the gentlest of pulls I brought my face to his, and found that he had met me halfway as I touched his lips and kissed him. I felt the shiver that ran the length of his body, and held him all the tighter for it. I didn't want to be aggressive, I knew then; because the rational mind had finally kicked on, that that was the last thing he needed. I pulled my face back from his but felt his arms tighten around me, and then felt his own passions as he forced his mouth onto mine again, parted my lips, and thrust his tongue into my mouth. It was my turn to tremble.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Have I described the layout of the observation tower yet? I think I did, but just to refresh your memories, it was open air with no roof, cutout arches of stone over the Parapets, and in the center, a long, wide wooden bench of sorts, which students could pay out upon, supine, watch the stars and do their assignments. It was that bench which I laid myself down upon, having been backed up there by the gentle persuasions of Draco's arms and mouth. We lingered in sharing kisses in vocal silence for a good long while and I began to feel unfamiliar emotions rising up in me. I let my arms drop away from him as he hovered over me, looking into my eyes, seeing, I knew not what, the sadness slowly melting away from his features. I gave him just a tiny smile then, because I was nervous, and he kissed it softly before sitting down beside me. I stayed on my back because I didn't honestly believe I had the strength to sit upright at that moment.

"Why are you letting me do this Harry?" His words and his eyes seemed so far away just then. "Aren't you going with Ginny Weasley?"

"She broke up with me."

"What? Why?" His voice was so musical just then.

"I guess I'm not the great and powerful Harry Potter anymore." I didn't think he'd know the allusion to The Wizard of Oz; it was an old Muggle movie after all. But by my way of thinking just then, it fit pretty well.

"She's an idiot." And he leaned over to kiss me again. Each time he did it, overtly unbidden as it was by me, it gave me pause and I needed to close my eyes to just feel the butterflies it brought me. I ran my fingers across the back of his neck to keep him close to me, and sank into the rising passions of his mouth and its insistence. I was unwilling to let him go for many minutes.

"Thanks." I knew my voice sounded more like a whisper than anything else, but it was just the way it needed to be said.

"But why are you doing this with me Harry?"

"Totally selfish reasons Draco." I sighed and looked back up at the stars. "Kissing you that is. It feels amazing." I saw no need not to be honest with him right then.

"And the other stuff?"

"You're my friend Draco, and I don't define you by the things that you were forced to do, or the things that have been done to you. Others might, and that would be their loss. But as you have said to me, we have so much more in common than any differences, at least in terms of how we have been misused. If you can forgive me what I have done in the past and how I thought of you, and treated you, then how can I not be as equally altruistic?"

"You talk far too much like Dumbledore Harry."

"We spent a great deal of time together."

"I envy you that, he was a great man, and I know he wanted to help me. I wish I could have trusted him more."

"He knew the good in you Draco, he was very wise. Like he knew the good in Severus when I don't think the man even knew himself."

"Do you still talk to him Harry?"

"Who? Dumbledore? Yeah, I guess so." When I got sad, especially at the house, over the summer, I would tell him about what I was doing, and remember him. It just seemed kind of natural. I didn't think anyone would have thought about doing that.

"I don't talk to anybody."

"Well now you can talk to me Draco." I reached up a hand and ran it down his back, feeling him shiver. He was only wearing his shirt; I still had my warmer jumper on from the flying of the afternoon. But I wasn't really sure if the temperature had much to do with his reaction.

"What do you want to do now Harry?"

"It's probably getting close to curfew, we should think about heading back to our dorms."

"I don't want to be alone just yet." He shivered.

"But you're cold Draco, we should go back inside."

"The cold doesn't matter." But it did, now that the sun was down there was a real chill in the air, and I was feeling it even through the jumper. I took his hand, and his fingers were icy.

"Do you trust me Draco?"

"Silly question." Okay, I admit it was kind of silly, after everything we'd shared over the previous twenty-four ish hours.

"We can go back to Snape's rooms, but I need to go back to my dorm to fetch something first. Will you wait for me there?" He nodded, and helped me to sit and then stand. Face to face we shared another long embrace, which had the feeling of a lifeline more than passion right then.

I locked the door behind us as we came off the rampart and pocketed the key to return to the professor later. I kept a tight hold on Draco's hand as we descended the tower, till almost the bottom step, when he pulled it away gently. An unspoken look between us signaled the pact and the fear, and I headed off to my dorm as quickly as I could without looking suspicious. Draco went off in the opposite direction, back down to the dungeon area, to wait for me, I hoped.

I never mentioned it to Draco, but I was quite certain that Professor Sinistra had been in the classroom below us, the whole time we had been in the tower, waiting, not eavesdropping, just to make certain that we both emerged whole and well from our 'talk'. She never asked me what happened, I never offered. But she did insist that I keep the key, should I ever need to return to the tower for any reason.

I know I probably looked shaken as I came up the stairs from the portrait hole into the common room, I felt shaken at least, and the fact that Hermione followed me to my dorm was probably the tip off.

"You can't be up here you know?"

"Give it a rest Harry, what's going on?" She was always a direct girl, and I loved her for that. Ron was my friend and all, but Hermione was the one to tell me the truth, and call me on my mistakes.

"I can't really tell you Hermione." I was going through my trunk at the time, looking for my invisibility cloak. If I was going to be out late I knew I would need it, to get both Draco and I back to our dorms without being discovered.

"What's wrong with Draco?" My god she was a smart girl.

"I'm sorry Hermione, I just can't tell you, it would be breaking a promise." I knew she would understand that.

"Is he okay?" And I knew that she would be the one to be concerned.

"I don't know yet Hermione, I hope he will be."

"You're going back out to find him?" As we had been talking I had retrieved the cloak and had begun wrapping it around me.

"I have to Hermione."

"Of course you do Harry." She wasn't being snide, or sarcastic. I reached out for her hand, took it and kissed it quickly.

"I knew you'd understand Hermione. I promise, I'll tell you everything as soon as I can."

Her smile was beatific, and she squeezed my hand, the one that was still holding hers.

"I trust you Harry. And I know that you will come to me if you need help."

"You're always my first choice Hermione."

"Just promise me that it's nothing sinister."

"I promise Hermione, it's a personal thing, nothing earth shattering or dangerous. Just something I have to do." I couldn't mention Voldemort's name in front of her, even though he was at the root of everything, again. He was dead, finally dead this time, and I intended to leave it that way. Whatever might happen with the child, I would leave that for the future. Right then there was only one person to save; though I didn't know that saving him would be saving myself too.

She drew the curtains around my bed, something I had forgotten to do, and shoed me away. With a smile, I whispered a 'thanks' to her, for always having my back and then I pulled the cloak over my head and headed back down the steps to go through the common room.

"All right Harry, have a good rest!" Hermione called out to the nothingness where I should have been, getting ready for bed.

"What's happened with Harry then?" I heard Ron ask her as I hit the first step down, back to the portrait hole. I stopped.

"Apparently he and Draco found some sort of amulet when they were packing up Snape's room." Wow, she was good. I listened to the rest of her story. "Seems the Ministry wanted to find it rather quickly so Professor Sinistra needed to know what box they'd packed it into with some urgency."

"More Dark Magic?" I could see Ron's eyebrows rise, and his eyes widen. I understood the fear that came with those words.

"No, no, something that Snape had borrowed from the Ministry and never returned. Harry promised me that it was nothing sinister at all."

"So where is he then?"

"It was a long day, he thought he'd just turn in. I'm sure he'll tell you all about it in the morning Ron."

She looked to where I was standing, even though she couldn't see me. I nodded another thanks at her, not that she could see it either, and left the tower.


	23. Chapter 23

I sure hope you like this scene, it's another ne that has been swirling in my head for weeks, just waiting for the story to catch up to its place.

And thank you for all the reviews and alerts and favs. You really make me feel loved.

Merick

Chapter Twenty-Three

What the hell was I doing? I must have asked myself that question a dozen times as I crept down the passageways back to Snape's quarters, hearing the pounding of my own heart echoing in my ears under the cloak. I was going because Draco didn't want to be alone, I was going because I didn't want him to be alone, but I was also going because I needed to know what was going to happen, scared as I was, I needed to know. I knew what fear was; I know what fear is, I've felt it too many times; fear for my life, fear for the lives of my friends, an all-encompassing blackness that makes it hard to move and hard to breathe. I'm not saying that I was feeling that type of terror, more a fear of the unknown, more a fear of not knowing what I was going to do when I got to Snape's. I didn't know if Draco would be waiting for me at the desk, or in the hall, if he would have the Port out again, or if he would be by the fire; or if he would be in the bedroom waiting for me. Every image flashed in front of my eyes; and apprehension gripped at my chest. Would he be lying there, in the bed, waiting for me, waiting for some type of intimacy that I didn't know if I could give him? Fear, excitement, apprehension, they all made my mouth dry and my heart race, but they did not stop my feet from moving.

After checking the hall to make sure no one was there I opened the door and slipped inside, scanning quickly for the presence of life. He was there, at the desk, almost as he had been before and I called out his name as he looked curiously at the door, which had opened and closed itself. I lowered the hood of the cloak so that he could see that it was I. And a small smile replaced the look of confusion and concern. I slipped off the rest of the cloak, bundling it into my arms.

"Nice trick."

"Comes in handy."

"I can well imagine." I joined him at the desk, which I now noted, had a covered tray on it, and a flask. And how could I have missed it before you might ask, well, my focus wasn't on the desk, but the man behind it, I say this in my defense.

"What's all this?" I asked as I sat.

"I hope you don't mind Harry, I went by the kitchen and asked your man Kreacher if I might be able to have a flask of coffee and a few sandwiches. I missed dinner after all." He smiled feebly at me. "As soon as he found out it was for you and I to share he insisted on putting together something fancy." Draco lifted the cover on the tray to reveal a monstrous stack of sandwiches, garnished with fresh vegetables and pickles, each with a fancy little pick holding it all together. As always, Kreacher had outdone himself. "He seemed so pleased, went on mumbling about how wonderful it was, and that he was going to make us lovely meals like this every time I came to visit."

"He's agreed to come back to 12 G with me after the school year. To look after me." I revealed as Draco poured me a coffee from the flask. The steam swirled upwards in spirals, as only magical hot brews seemed to do.

"I wondered what he was about as he kept going on about his room."

"I've given him some catalogues to have a look through, to pick some furniture for himself."

"You certainly are a champion for the underdog Harry; but I suppose that works to my benefit too."

"I guess that means you'll be wanting to look at the catalogues too, for your room when you come to visit?" The question had rolled off my tongue with a happy familiarity before I had realized what I was actually saying. It was exactly the sort of thing I would have said to Ron or Hermione had it been them I had been sharing the conversation and coffee with. Draco looked at me with softened eyes, and a voice to match them as he responded.

"You'd really want me to come out and visit?"

"Yes Draco, I really would." I had thought about the answer for a split second before deciding that I would like to see Draco after school ended. It was that whole living in the moment thing taking over again. Sometimes when I opened my mouth the things that came out of it weren't really well thought out, but this time it had worked out okay.

"I'd really like that Harry."

I smiled at him and took a sip of my coffee. He filled the silence rather quickly.

"So you said Ginny broke up with you?"

"Yes I did."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" Part of me didn't really want to get into it, but considering the things Draco had told me, I didn't feel right shutting down his line of questioning.

"Umm, you know Draco, I didn't really know initially, but a few sleepless nights opened my eyes, if you'll pardon the terrible pun. Ginny and I didn't really know each other I think. I know she kind of had a crush on me, when she was younger, but we didn't really spend much time together then, and when the whole thing came to a head with Voldemort and we had to face him and the Death Eaters, I think she got an image of me stuck in her brain as some kind of hero."

"Well you were kind of a hero Harry." He looked at me as if he expected me to agree, because it was just common sense.

"I wasn't really a hero, I just did what I had to Draco. Same as Neville would have done if Voldemort had taken the prophecy the other way."

"I don't know about that."

"I do. But anyways, I think when I had to leave the school, and Ginny had to stay behind she kind of built up the image of me, romanticized it into something I'm not. Hero on the run, the tragic warrior, some such construct. And she fell in love with that. I don't know that I did any better for her. I used her as a lifeline when I was away, imagining what she was doing, how noble she was, waiting for me, fighting the fight in her way. I put her on a pedestal, not really knowing the real her, and what she needed from me. She wanted a hero, to have on her arm, to give her the recognition and excitement she thought she deserved. I wanted a respite, someone to romance, and marry and hide away with to lead a simple life finally." I had let my gaze drift down to the table as I spoke, I felt some guilt for my part in the demise of our relationship, after I'd had the time to cool down from my initial shock and the hurt of understanding why I wasn't enough for her. I can't say anger; I don't think I ever really got angry with her, except maybe when she attacked Draco. And maybe that was telling too.

"I suppose she didn't like you defending me either?" Perceptive wizard Draco was just then.

"Draco, we don't have to go there. Your name was an excuse for her, she just used our relationship to justify sleeping with Dean."

"She slept with Dean?"

"I found them together." Draco winced at hearing that. "At least I never cheated on her, I can say that much for myself, whatever other mistakes I made." I took another sip of coffee and helped myself to a sandwich. "Should I even be talking about this with you Draco, considering everything?"

"It doesn't bother me. It makes you seem very thoughtful and honest. Does it bother you?"

I thought about that for a moment. Did I want Draco knowing how my relationship had fallen apart? Was I afraid that it would change how he saw me? 'Too late now' I guessed.

"Why are we talking about me anyways?" I dodged the question.

"I thought maybe you'd had enough of my sob stories."

"So you'd put us on a more even footing about how miserable we both are?" I laughed at him.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Eat something, you're getting all daft on me."

He helped himself to a sandwich as I watched, wondering again about the anxieties that I had felt on the way over. I had been relieved to see him in the sitting room, I had to be honest with myself about that, and it did seem only fair to share some other types of intimacies about ourselves. Perhaps it was better, to know who each of us really were right then, so I wouldn't make another mistake. And then I caught myself, thinking about Draco and I as if we were a couple already, when all we had really done was share a few moments of passion. Was I being as bad as Ginny, painting a picture without substance? I shook my head, which must have looked odd to Draco because I caught him staring at me.

"Where did you just go right then?" He asked me putting down his second sandwich.

"Just thinking Draco."

"About what?"

A feeble smile on my part, and nervous butterflies again, "about you." I stuttered.

"It's kind of easy to get caught up in dreams isn't it?"

"Yes, too easy." I admitted.

"Tell me?"

"I don't want to do anything to hurt you Draco."

"I don't want to hurt you either Harry."

"Then why me?"

"I don't know if I have a good answer for you Harry. I just wanted to share something with you. You were so nice to me, and understanding, and a friend, and I wanted to have that intimacy with you; because you're a good person."

"A connection?"

"With someone good, who wouldn't manipulate me. Was I wrong?"

"Not at all. I'm flattered." I reached out to brush the back of his hand just quickly. He had spoken of a connection, and I wanted one right then. I could feel the tremor. He was feeling the same fear I was.

"Would you do something for me Harry, because I know it's already late and we don't have much time."

"I'll try."

"Would you give me a memory, something I can take to myself when I am alone, to keep the other thoughts out of my head."

"You mean like one of my memories? That you could watch in a pensieve?" I thought back to the visions I had shared, from Dumbledore, from others, trying to unravel the puzzle that was Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

"No, not exactly." He rose and walked around the desk, offering me his hand as he stopped before me. "Something new."

I took his hand and let him lead me to the bedroom, heart pounding, body trembling, emotions overtaking my senses, fear swirling around my feet.


	24. Chapter 24

So, I considered the whole 'fade to black' thing, for about ten seconds, and then realized you might all hate me if I did it. So, here we are, a wee bit of intimacy for our Protagonists. I hope you enjoy the continuation of the tease; but do remember; discretion is the better part of valor.

Enjoy

Merick

Chapter Twenty-Four

I remember it all, maybe in too much detail, so forgive me if I seem to linger on the memories, but it was just something I'd never experienced before, and it made me feel beyond amazing, it made me feel important to someone, just for me.

He led me into the center of the room, where he turned away to light only a few candles with his wand. When he turned back to me the soft light lit him from behind and made his white blond hair glow, like a halo. He was so incongruous for just a second, the ice blue eyes surrounded by the fire; but it was glorious. He said nothing, but reached out for me, running his fingertips up my arms and across my shoulders. When he reached my neck he cupped it, and the back of my skull, gently and pulled me towards him in a slow, exaggerated motion, cocking his head just slightly as he did it, to finally touch my lips with his. I could have broken his grasp if I had wanted to it was so delicate, but I didn't, I had been craving the kiss, from even before I had joined him in Snape's quarters, and it was so easy to melt into his touch.

From the kiss, his hands flowed down to my waist, I bowed my head as he moved, not to watch him, but to let the feelings in me build. I felt his fingers on my bare skin, as he slipped them under the knit edge of my jumper, running them to lay flat against my abdomen before he coaxed the sweater up my chest and I raised my arms to help him pull it off of me. He tossed it to the bed. I only knew that was where it had landed because I found it there later, I couldn't take my eyes off of his face. The subtleties of the emotions he was feeling, or that I imagined he was feeling, were playing over his features, and the dreaminess therein was intoxicating.

I brought my own arms up, to drape them around his waist as he brought his mouth in again to kiss me. Feeling his lips that second time, I pulled his body closer to me, till our hips just touched. When I felt him there I know my whole body trembled, and I saw the wistful smile cross his face as he closed his eyes for an instant.

Hands circled around my waist then and he spun he slowly and pushed me back towards the bed; which I note had been made up with clean linens once again. I sat, still watching his eyes, necessitating an upwards tilt to my neck and a natural relaxation of my jaw, which parted my lips for him, and bending over me, he slipped his tongue into my mouth.

The gentle pressure pushed me back onto the bed and Draco continued to hover over me, swinging his legs to straddle me somewhat, and he bent his head to my skin again, kissing my cheek, and tracing downwards with his tongue along my jaw, and down my neck to the hollow above my collar bone. Then he rocked backwards so that he could begin to trace the slight lines of musculature across my chest and abdomen with his fingertips. I shivered with every caress, and every emphasized point of pressure.

"I don't want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable Harry." He breathed the words, more than spoke them. "If you tell me to stop I will."

I could not imagine, at that point, asking him to stop, but the words he spoke made my whole body feel warm, and I nodded, to show him that I had understood.

"I won't hurt you." An odd statement, but said in that desperately sexy, low tone it simply rolled into the whole experience for me. And he began again to trace over my chest, as if he was painting a picture, and his fingers were the paintbrushes. When he swept them over my nipples I immediately started, and seeing my obvious reaction, he began to rub them a little more intently, which caused me to moan just softly, and close my eyes again. I could feel my own arousal building, and the growing tension in my core was so difficult to ignore, especially when Draco rested back on me, grinding against me carefully. I moaned again, unable to stop myself, and became immediately self-conscious.

"Draco?" He looked into my eyes again. "I don't know what to do. But I want to touch you, would you let me?"

"God yes." He rolled over onto his back, and made to start undoing the buttons on his shirt. I brushed his hands away and began the job myself, loving the feeling of undressing him. I laid the shirt open around him, and moved to straddle him as he had done me. He slithered out of the sleeves and lay before me; he was so beautiful against the dark coverlet, like a star in the heavens.

"I don't know what I'm doing Draco." I offered the apology a second time before even touching him.

"I trust you." And he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow. He looked absolutely angelic, and I had to still my racing heart before I dared touch him, for fear of doing something wrong in my haste.

I leaned over him, and as he had done, I kissed him, sliding my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, and pulling at him gently. He wrapped his arms around my back loosely, letting them just rest against my hips as I let my mouth roam over him. I traced the same pathways he had, across his jaw line, down his throat where I nipped and licked and kissed his skin as I felt him move against me, proceeding to his chest.

His skin was smooth and soft and smelt vaguely of wood smoke and the night air. The scent was at once comforting, and yet arousing because it reminded me of the castle grounds, and the glorious fall nights of the summer where everything seemed peaceful and positive. But it was on his skin, and made me think of the wildness that could lie beneath. Knowing the great pleasure it had brought me, I kissed his nipples, each in turn, feeling him gasp as I let my tongue circle them till they stood for me and I could suckle them and pull at them carefully. He arched his back to me, and I felt him push his hips against mine as I sat atop him. I knew that my own arousal had to be obvious to him, but to feel his, pushing against me only fueled the desire I had for him then, and the need to give him pleasure.

I had to rock back, just to have a moment to understand what my own emotions and feelings were doing to my body, he sat up to join me and kissed me hard on the mouth. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around his back tightly, and before I could even think I felt the corded ropes of the scars across it, and I know my body stiffened at the touch, because it surprised me, lost as I was in the pleasure of touching him. He knew it immediately, and pulled back from me. I instantly felt revulsion at what I had done.

"Draco, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I didn't hurt you did I?"

His eyes were downcast, and I could feel the trembling across his shoulders. Again, in my own defense, I had not let him completely leave the circle of my arms, holding fast to my own wrists. He shook his head.

"Look at me?" He couldn't, and I felt the heave of a sob in his chest as I pressed him to mine. "Draco I don't care about them, I just forgot, I'm sorry."

"I wish I could forget." His voice sounded so defeated, laced with the hesitation of tears.

"The pain will dull, I promise it will." I wasn't sure how much strength I had conveyed behind my words, because I wasn't entirely convinced of it myself; but I wanted to be. I ran my hands over his back again, without hesitation, to prove to him that I was being truthful. The look in his eyes when he could finally bring his face to mine nearly killed me, to think that I had caused that hurt to resurface. I kissed his forehead and then both his eyes as he crumpled into me.

"He has no power over either of us any longer. You and I, we will survive this. Together." Another shudder from him and then a drawn out breath and he straightened himself again.

"Together?"

"I promise you that Draco."

In absolute desperation he kissed me again, forcing his lips against mine; taking breath, and energy from me, diving into my mouth with his tongue, and meeting my own, dancing with him in the crush. Our legs, tangled together as they were from when he had sat to meet me, joined the dance. We were both breathless when we parted. But came together again quickly, and he tangled his fingers into my hair, keeping me close to him. Another breath and I had to speak. My body was aching for him, my mind not far behind, and I had to try to understand.

"Draco." The tone of my voice forced him to listen, even though it was breathless and soft. It got even softer as the candles guttered in the room around us, and the space seemed to close in around us. "Do you want to make love with me?" It was so hard to say the words out loud, and I know I stammered them in the attempt.

"Is that a question or an invitation?" His voice matched my own, serious, but barely above a whisper.

I tried to answer, with a stuttering jumble of 'I's' and 'Umm's' which just made him laugh softly at me, his eyes brightening. He pushed three fingers to my lips to quiet me and answered.

"Yes."

The wave that washed over my entire body was a mixture of excitement and trepidation, but no doubt. I let my fingers wander down towards the waistband of his trousers, completely unsure, trying to be guided by something ethereal. But he stopped me.

"No, not now, not like this, on borrowed time."

My eyes questioned him, I knew it was very late, but that was all I was sure of right then.

"I want it to be perfect Harry. No doubt, no fear, no regrets. I want to take our time the first time." They could have been my own words, from beneath the willow, said to another. "I don't want you to ever hate me."

"We should get back to our dorms, we have classes in the morning. And we have a lifetime ahead of us, to make it perfect."

I don't want to say it was relief that crowded into my chest, but there was a measure of it. And there was something else, I didn't have a word for the warmth, the feeling of connection or the compassion I felt, mingled with the desperate passion. But I would come up with the word soon enough.

I took his hand to stand, and retrieved my sweater, and then my invisibility cloak. Draping it around ourselves we left Snape's quarters for the final time. In only another week it was to become someone else's, and we had occasion to return there, but that is another part of the story, for later.

Outside the descending entrance to the Slytherin dorms we paused, still hidden under the cloak together, and Draco backed me up against the stone wall, to press the length of his body against me and steal one more kiss.

"I'm going to need a cold shower before I'll be able to sleep." I told him, and he grinned at me mischievously.

"There are other ways you know, to help with that." And he slid his hand down between our bodies, brushing none too gently against the front of my pants. I gasped as he kneaded his hand against the solid mass of my arousal. "Just think of me, because I'm going to be thinking of you."

It was a combination of both for me that night, a shower, to muffle the cries I couldn't contain, and the fantasy of his body that gave me my relief. I crawled into my bed for a few hours of sleep. Some of his words haunted me before I drifted off, about hurt and trust, things I didn't quite understand yet. But I would, perhaps not soon enough though, to keep him from further pain.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Quidditch tryouts went mostly like I expected them too, badly, and uncomfortably. Thank goodness Ginny didn't have the ability to cast silently like Draco did, because at least every time I saw her looking at me, and her mouth moving at the same time I knew to try and dodge her oncoming hex, or to brace for the impact. I could understand why she was mad at me; still, but I hadn't thought it would bring her down to the level of cheating.

Perhaps I should go back a day to explain this a bit more thoroughly.

Monday morning was normal, as normal as anything could be in a magical castle filled with adolescent wizards and witches, elves, ghosts and assorted other magical persons. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to Draco until after lunch, when he came over to the Gryffindor table, after most everyone else had left; we still had our free potions period then, at least for another week. He asked if I wanted to take the time to run over some Astronomy assignments, and since I had a lot to catch up on if I was going to challenge the NEWT exams, I agreed. Of course, I did sort of check with Ron, in case he had had other plans he hadn't made me aware of quite yet. But, since he and Neville and I had discussed our evening DADA class already: it was going to be more dueling and defensive spells; he had no problem with it. Ron was a happy go lucky kind of person again, wished us both luck and wandered back to the dorm to relax for a bit before his next class. I envied his ability to put everything behind him so quickly. Voldemort, our DADA competition, my breakup with his sister; which he hadn't actually mentioned to me yet, probably Hermione's doing, and even my new friendship with Draco, none of it really mattered to him it seemed, we were still friends, and that was all that did.

Draco settled himself in beside me at the now empty table and opened his book bag to pull out the Astronomy textbook. He flipped open to the chapter we were supposed to be taking up that day, ostensibly to give me a better background so that the lecture would make more sense to me. Before he delved into that though, he looked at me with a little screwed up smile.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you?"

"I'm fine. Are you still okay with everything that happened last night?"

I looked around the room, wondering if anyone was close enough to hear us, but the Great Hall had mostly been depopulated, and there were actually a few house elves popping in and out with their little wands extended, tidying up after us.

"Yeah, I'm still good with it."

The smile on his face broadened, he did look so good when he smiled.

"I thought you might be upset with me?"

"Upset? No, because you stopped things, no Draco, no. It was just the right thing to do."

"I'm glad you understand."

"I want to do things the right way round too."

"And you're okay with keeping things a secret for now?"

We hadn't really discussed it, but I think we both knew at that point that it wouldn't be wise to share whatever it was we were building with anyone else, there would be too many uncomfortable questions, we knew that. What we were doing, while not unheard of, wasn't the norm yet in our society. I just nodded at Draco. He understood.

Talk of secret things gave way to things more lighthearted as the Astronomy lay unnoticed for another few minutes.

"Are you going to be trying out for the Slytherin Quidditch team today?" Tryouts had been scheduled for just before dinner for the next four days, each house having one day on the pitch to themselves. First Slytherin, then Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and finally Ravenclaw on Thursday. To try to make things very fair, Madam Hooch was going to be monitoring all the sessions, along with the Heads of Houses, to make the team selections; as well as appoint the captains. This was a little different than years past, and while I didn't quite understand why it was being done that way, Minerva's wisdom became apparent by the end of the week.

Professor Sinistra would be there for Slytherin House, and Professor Sprout for Hufflepuff. Professor Flitwick was still head of the Ravenclaws, but as Gryffindor still had no official head; Minerva having been promoted to Headmaster, Professor Vector, Hermione's Arthrimacy instructor had been doing the job temporarily, but we all assumed that one of the new professors would be given the task when they arrived, mostly because we'd hardly seen Professor Vector since we'd returned, and he didn't seem particularly thrilled with shepherding us. So there would be five professors to watch each practice, along with other students who came out for curiosity, to sit in the stands and watch.

"I don't think I'm going to bother with it."

"Really?"

"Harry, you and I both know the only reason I made it onto the team at all was because my Dad bought new brooms for everyone." I knew that to be true, but didn't say it, because the truth of it was;

"You were a good seeker Draco." He was.

"I never really liked the game anyways. It was just another duty I had, presumably to beat you at the game for my father; and one I am happy to give up." I knew that motivation to be true as well. Draco and I had more than our share of hostile encounters in midair over the pitch. "You'll be going out then will you?"

"I thought I would." I really did love the game, and the fact that you were forced to focus so hard on it that you could let everything else go for that time on the pitch. I think I might have said that before; sorry if it's a repetition, editing duties will have to go to someone else, I'm working on continuity here.

"You don't think it'll be hard, with your ex girlfriend competing for the same position?"

Aw bloody hell; Harry Potter, oblivious to the world yet again.

Ginny played seeker, played it for me a few times, and she was good at it. She was fast, she moved well, and she was angry with me. It hadn't even dawned on me that I would be going up against her; not that I felt entitled to the position by right of showing up. But having been the seeker for so many years… okay, I felt entitled, especially in my last year.

"Forgot about that did you?" Master of the obvious, Draco Malfoy, and I told him as much with a sneer. "Oh you should still try, you are one of the best seekers this school has ever had. Maybe she won't show up."

I figured the chances of that happening were slightly less than Severus Snape's ghost showing up to haunt the halls.

"You know what Draco, I can't give that up for her."

"You shouldn't have to give anything up for her, ex or not. That's not what relationships are about Harry. No one should be giving up things they love for someone else. Relationships are about finding ways to honor both people's interests, not a contest about who has made the most sacrifices."

I looked at him oddly. It had been a very astute observation; for a nineteen year old male, and it surprised me, though it shouldn't have, the depth of his understanding.

"You're right Draco, I'll go out, and win or lose on my own skills."

"She's awfully good with hexes."

Didn't I know it?

So, back to the Quidditch tryouts. Madam Hooch sent out the Seeker and the Beater hopefuls, first flying through a series of obstacles and then the Beaters trying to unseat the Seekers by means of the Bludgers and their clubs. It started out okay, I was pretty fast, and certainly more agile than Ginny on the basic obstacle course. But when it came to avoiding the Bludgers I could just sense something going wrong. Quick glances at Ginny, and the stares she gave me along with the twisted smile told me all I needed to know. My suddenly unbalanced, difficult to handle broom had obviously been hexed and it was all I could do to clumsily avoid being knocked to the ground, while she continued to fly rings around me.

My awkwardness did catch the eye of Madam Hooch, and after about ten minutes of watching the spectacle, she called all of us to the ground for a break, while she put the Keeper and Chaser hopefuls through their paces.

I kept far away from Ginny when we landed; I wanted no one accusing me of doing anything to her. I didn't even make eye contact. Draco wandered over from where he had been watching with the other students and sat beside me on the bench, where I stayed hunched over my broom, trying to sort out what I could do.

"She's hexing you, you know?"

"Yes, I was aware of that Draco." I tried not to sound snide about it.

"Did you want me to tell the Professors about it?"

Ginny had already had one detention that she blamed on me, and by the tone of the less than concealed gossip it hadn't gone particularly well, not that these things ever did, that's why they were called detention, and not 'pop over for a cupa'. I was in no hurry to expose her and suffer the ongoing wrath of her and her friends.

"No, don't do that Draco."

"I could curse her."

"Don't do that either. She'll find a way to pin that on me as well. It was hard enough last night in the dorms." It had been, with all the girls of her year treating me as if I hadn't showered in months; taking away their playmate, how dare I?

"Walk away from your broom for a minute Harry."

"What?"

"Go get a drink of water."

"Draco?" I was really thick back then.

"Plausible deniability Harry. You asked me not to do anything; you won't hear me do anything. Just walk away for a minute."

I did. And I heard nothing, bless that silent casting skill. When I came back he rose from the bench and went to stand around behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I saw Ginny look at me, and him, but I know she didn't dare utter a word about Slytherin spies, certainly not in earshot of any of the professors, she wasn't about to take the chance of another detention. Besides, she and Ron had gone to watch the Slytherin tryouts, and there were Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs there as well.

"You haven't done anything to hurt her have you?"

"Absolutely nothing Harry. You can trust me."

The second half of the tryouts seemed to go better. My broom responded to my control again, and the few times I chanced to look over at Ginny hers seemed to be afflicted in a manor similar to my own from earlier. Her face was becoming redder and redder, and she was making mistakes. I kept flying my own course. It was the safest thing to do.

When we landed, and the whole tryout wrapped up Madam Hooch mentioned nothing about our erratic behavior, and dismissed us all, which I thought was odd, being that she was the flying teacher and all. She couldn't have failed to notice, and I had been prepared with answers for her, for questions that never came. I was quite willing to offer up my wand as proof that I had not cheated in any form, mostly because I knew that Ginny would not be able to do the same; the Priori Incantato spell was one I knew quite well.

I showered quickly, and changed back into my regular kit, trying to avoid having to walk back up to the castle with Ginny. Draco was waiting for me, not just outside the changing room doors, but close enough to them that I saw him straight away, and he wasn't alone, he was talking with Hermione. That sight made me both happy and nervous, because I didn't know what they might be talking about.

"I can't believe what Draco's been telling me about Ginny." I threw Draco an evil look. He shrugged his shoulders at me.

"Look Harry, somebody has to talk to her. It certainly can't be me, and you won't be doing it either." His thoughts trailed off. I sighed.

"I can't believe she hexed you." I noticed that Hermione hadn't gone so far as to say 'cheated'. But that was okay, she'd known Ginny as long as I had, and I still couldn't believe it had come to that.

"I still think he should let the Professors know." Draco was trying to make a case.

"No." I was firm, if not loud. "I've done enough to her, I can't do that. Hermione, you talk to her, tell her to be careful, because she has a good reputation around Hogwarts and she's going to ruin it."

"I'll talk to her Harry, I'll just tell her I noticed it and I won't even mention your name." She turned to Draco, "or yours. Now both of you get out of here before she sees me talking to you."

"More plausible deniability?"

Draco nodded, and we hurried up the hill. I was so glad that I still seemed to have so many decent friends around Hogwarts, despite what Ginny was doing; and what I was doing. I really wished that things would start getting easier at some point, but of course, they didn't.


	26. Chapter 26

Sorry for the longer than normal pause between chapters; the last full week of school has meant many extras that interfered with my 'stress release' time. I know it's still a bit of a tease, so I hope you enjoy this installment.

Merick

Chapter Twenty-Six

I made the Quidditch team, and in another surprise, Ron was made Captain. Minerva's decision to have the Professors judge the tryouts turned out to be quite reasonable, because I cannot imagine Ron having to choose between me and his sister. The lists were posted Friday morning, which meant that breakfast became an animated affair as each house discussed their supposed chances for victory in the upcoming matches, and captains sorted out their practice times according to their players' schedules. Ginny sat far away from the rest of us, surrounded by her friends who were no doubt reinforcing her assertions that the professors had made a mistake not choosing her. Hermione had taught her last potions tutorial the night before; I think she was going to miss standing up at the front of the room. And we had our last DADA class that night. All assumptions were that the new Professors would be arriving anytime soon, and the appearance of some trunks in the front entranceway that afternoon sort of bore that out. Hagrid was helping Filch to load them onto trolleys as we came out of the Hall from lunch. He waved a big beefy hand at us, the billows from his sleeve nearly knocking over Mr. Filch, who was still as thin and drawn as ever; but at least recovered from the explosion in Snape's old quarters.

Part of me hoped that this meant that we were now going to settle into a proper routine at school, finally. And I knew I could avoid Ginny, just as I had managed to avoid others over the last seven years. Eventually I knew her anger would wear off and she would find something else to fixate on which would draw her away from any concerns about me. I didn't realize how fast that fixation would arrive, and in a lovely midnight blue cloak as well, but I'm jumping ahead.

Besides, I know you want to hear more about Draco and I. It was fun, in a shy, adolescent sort of way. My whole life I'd just kind of fallen into situations one way or another, or let others push me into them. But I didn't feel quite the same about Draco. For a week, we shared concealed smiles, and 'just' lingering touches; hands brushing hands under a desk, legs brushing legs as we crossed over to our seats. The squeeze on shoulders that lasted just a bit too long, and the tracing of fingertips down the back of necks were all part of the play. And Draco knew nearly as many darkened recesses in scarcely used hallways around Hogwarts as I did. And we were able to share stolen kisses there, and tantalizing embraces, which left us both hungry for more, and energized by the anticipation. It was a game, and it was delicious.

Draco came to the last DADA class, blowing off Pansy's last Potions lesson. He didn't seem to think that she would care one way or the other. She had the younger Slytherins quite captivated with her ability to brew up love potions, and sleeping draughts, and the like, all quite useful things for espionage, and finding a rich mate.

It was a good class. People wanted to duel, so the eighth years kind of supervised to make sure no one got hurt, and we let them at it. We had to throw in a few shield charms here and there, but it was all good. I hoped that once the new DADA professor arrived that he would be impressed with what we had done. For one year I wanted to start off Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts on a positive note, without a professor hating me, or expecting too much of me because of my name. I think it worked out okay, looking back. And Draco got a chance to show some of the younger students that he wasn't such a scary guy despite what their housemates kept telling them. It was a start for him too, even though he was still incredibly shy around everyone but Hermione and I. At least his circle had expanded by one.

Draco hung back after the class, waiting till most everyone had cleared out before speaking openly to me, and calling me Harry again; I had noticed that he still called me Potter when we were in large groups. Not that it bothered me, I just make note of it.

"The tower is open tonight, did you want to go up and work on our charts?" He referred to our first Astronomy assignment, charting the fall skies. It seemed like an excellent idea to me, and maybe not completely because I wanted to do homework.

"Let me go and get my scrolls and a warmer cloak and I'll meet you up there? You should get something warmer on too." As always he had his pressed cotton shirt on, though I had noticed that the usual white had been replaced with black this week. I didn't know that the choice fell strictly under the dress code, but as his Head of House didn't seem worried, I had no reason to be either. Truth was, he looked good in the black.

"I'll see you up there in fifteen minutes or so?"

"Yes."

And once again I found myself headed for the tower, my heart pounding, and my mind racing. It was exciting, and it felt good. Certainly better than the last time I'd been up there, sort of. Adrenalin and testosterone always gave you a high.

I pushed open the door and found him, lying back on a blanket on the center benches, poking at a scroll with the thin end of his wand. As he heard me enter, he sat, and then stood, crossing the room to me in such a purposeful manner I was quite mesmerized by his movements. In a second he had my face clasped carefully between his two hands, and then had his mouth on mine, and for the following few seconds I simply enjoyed the feeling of him, and the excitement of his tongue, thrust into my mouth, and the heaving of his chest against mine.

"Draco, anyone could come up at any moment."

"I don't think so. I stopped to see Professor Sinistra on my way up, to ask permission for us to be up after curfew. She told me we were the only ones who had asked tonight, so I don't expect anyone else now, being as close to ten as it is."

Ten o'clock was our official curfew, at least to be back in our common rooms, mostly. There were always ways around it, but Minerva was still gun shy; can you say that about a witch? I don't know. And she liked to make sure that all her students were accounted for in the evening. It cut down on the nefarious doings of a number of students, and certainly would have prevented some 'issues' of years past. No one really minded, because a quick word to most professors got you a pass. And some of us still had invisibility cloaks.

I allowed Draco to pull me into another kiss, and wrapped my arms loosely around his back, just hanging at his waist, where I could trace the small of his back with my thumbs.

"You don't think Professor Sinistra will suspect anything?"

"Not if we get our charts done." Draco told me with a grin on his face, as he pulled me down to the bench. "See, I've already started."

"You are a terrible tease, you know that?" He had rolled back over to look up at the sky; I joined him, hip to hip.

"And you like it a great deal."

"And how would you know that?"

He placed a hand on my abdomen and began to run it down towards my waistband. I put one of mine over top to stop him.

"Not fair." I whispered in the most seductive voice I could manage between hesitant breaths.

"You're probably right." And he went back to his charts with a laugh.

"I will get even with you some day Draco."

"I count on it Harry," then another laugh. I pulled out my own scroll and we got to work.

Aries, Andromeda, and Cassiopeia fell into place alongside Pisces and Taurus. Draco showed me the spell to use to chart their orbits in sparkling ascensions and declinations. After about an hour both scrolls looked sufficiently amazing to my eyes, and we decided to pack them up. But before dropping them off in the classroom on our way back down we did take a few selfish moments. Well, Draco took them, and I enjoyed them.

In a languidly slow moment he rolled his body on top of mine, and let most of his weight press against me; at first taking my breath, not for the obvious reason of his weight, but for the delicious contact, and the overtly sexual nature of it.

I let my fingers just delve beneath the waistband of his trousers, pushing against the skin there as I pulled his shirt free. The scars didn't bother me, and the way he arched himself against my touch, I could tell there was no pain in it for him. We shared many deep breaths, and I knew I was becoming aroused, and I knew he could feel it. But unlike earlier, when I had pulled his hand away, out of, fear? Confusion? Shame? I felt so intoxicated by his presence that I wanted him to know what he was doing to me. And I wanted to feel the same response in him.

"We have to get away from here soon Dragon." I was panting as I tried to whisper to him.

"Oh Merlin yes." And then he hesitated, "What did you call me?"

"I know it's not Spring yet and your constellation won't be out for a few months but," I shrugged and smiled at him.

"Dragon?" He seemed to roll it around in his mind a bit as he continued to grind himself against me slowly. "Thank you." A pause, "where should we go?"

"My house." I had thought about it, at night, a few times, to help me sleep. "We can go to Hogsmeade, and from there we can apparate to 12G easily. We have our free passes. We should go soon." It was becoming difficult to form the words as I felt his arousal pressing against me. He was so distracting.

"You really want that?"

"I really want you Dragon." I could feel the heave of his chest against mine.

"I want you too Harry."

I'd have had him right there in that tower, I was so desperate for him; not that I was entirely certain what having him fully meant at that point. The Hogwarts library was a great resource for our classes, but its section on Human sexuality was somewhat lacking; okay, completely lacking. There were certainly no books on how to make love to your boyfriend, or your girlfriend for that matter, and while I wasn't a complete idiot about sex, I probably talked a better game back then than I played.

Fortunately, Draco didn't mind my lack of experience; but again, I'm getting ahead of myself.


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Friends, it appears that my traffic counter has once again flatlined despite reviews appearing to the contrary. I beg your indulgence again to drop a line or emoticon after you read this so I know you are still out there. Building up a plot line twist,… with some new additions to the staff.

Merick

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I slept in Saturday morning; it felt great to wake up without a feeling of anxiety that I needed to be anywhere else but my bed right at that moment. I had a long shower, again with the happy feeling of not having to rush. The talk I had had with Draco, well, the offer of my home for us, had made one thing necessary. I had to order some furniture. In a seeming stroke of luck I had awoken to find the catalogue back on my beside table, one page corner creased and a little pencil circle drawn around a child's bedroom set. Kreacher's choice was a lovely white and gold canopy bed with a matching dresser and nightstand. It was a girl's set, but I knew immediately that the gold inlay in each piece had drawn him to it and the little crystal gems set in the headboard. It would be perfect for him.

I headed down to the common room with my quill, the catalogue and some blank papers to write a note to the shop to place the order for that, and for the set I still had to choose for myself. I had settled myself by one of the large windows when Hermione came down from her dorm to join me.

"You were out late last night?"

"Just finishing off an Astronomy assignment for Monday." I said it matter of factly, as much as I was able. "I was up in the tower charting stars."

She looked at me with one eyebrow cocked and shook her head. She didn't believe me?

"Harry Potter, you got an assignment finished two days before it was due?" Then she laughed at me.

"And I did it without your help."

"Will wonders never cease."? She wasn't being condescending, but she knew, as well as I did, that without her help I wouldn't have even made it to NEWT levels.

"I really want to do well this year Hermione, really prove to the Ministry that I'll make a good Auror." And I did, seriously. I said it before, my name wasn't going to get me that job; I had to prove my skills.

"Well I'm glad you're taking things seriously this year. At least ways, your school work." I nodded knowingly; we'd both had to be incredibly serious, as we'd searched for the horcruxes. Memories we'd both share for a very long time. "What are you doing, if you don't mind me asking?" She used her wand to draw up one of the other chairs in the room to beside mine.

"Shopping." I answered. "I have to order furniture for 12 G or we won't have anything to sleep in at Christmas time." She looked over my shoulder at the bedroom set I had been looking at.

"That's nice."

"Do you think so? I was thinking about it for myself." I pushed the papers towards her so she could have a better look. The set was different than the beds at Hogwarts in that it didn't have curtains around it, and wasn't as ornate. It was a light honey-maple kind of color, with a very basic headboard and footboard with chunky legs, topped by large globes of the same wood. The set came with a long dresser with brass hardware, a wardrobe with mirror fronted doors, and two beside tables whose legs matched in miniature, the posts on the bed.

"Yes, I think that's an excellent choice Harry, so unlike everything that was in the house before."

"Would you like to choose a set for you and Ron?" A little smile lit her face.

"Really?"

"Of course, you guys will come for Christmas won't you? No matter what Ginny says?"

"Yes Harry, we'll all be there."

"And I kind of thought that you and Ron might want to come stay after school? Until you find your own place that is, if you want?" I was stuttering again, a habit that seemed to be growing with me, and one I didn't much like. It was odd being unsure with myself in front of my friends. More than odd, I hated it; not that there was much I could do to change it right then it seemed.

"You would want us there?"

"Hermione, you guys are my only family. We've been through everything together over the last seven years. I can't even imagine being without you."

"Harry?" She sighed. I thought she was going to reject me just then. "I think it's a wonderful offer. And I don't think I'd want to be anywhere else." And then she hugged me. Some of my self imposed anxiety drifted away at that point.

"Pick whatever you want, I'm sending the order today." She started flipping through the pages and I just watched her. I liked seeing her happy, finally. And I liked anything that I could do to add to it. After about ten minutes she settled on an oak set, and we chose another two for the remaining bedrooms. I noted it all down and asked her if she wanted to join me on a walk to the Owlery to send off the post. She agreed and we stopped there before heading to the Great Hall for breakfast.

In a strange coincidence I received a letter as I was setting down my plate. Hermione looked at me oddly as if to question how I could have possibly received an answer so quickly. But if course it wasn't from the furniture store, it was from Charlie.

He related that the dragon hunt in Enneskilen had gone rather well, and they had trapped their quarry only having to oblivate a few muggles along the way. It was on its way to a preserve in Romanian, Charlie riding escort, and he expected to be back to finish up the house the week after. I really appreciated how much he was doing for me, there really was no way I could have coordinated half of what he had been able to. And now I had a timeline for the furniture delivery wizards, so that in only another two weeks my house would be pretty much put together and ready for guests. Kreacher would likely want to go along early, before Christmas to stock the pantry and get the china and silverware all ready. And the butterflies in my gut also now knew when Draco and I could plan our little escape. Thoughts of that made my hand wobble a little as I picked up my coffee. But it was a good wobble.

I didn't see Draco until dinnertime, Ron managed to get us an hour on the pitch mid afternoon and had us all running sprints while he hurled balls at us. We came back inside, just in time for dinner, red faced, and with a few new bruises to find the Great Hall had been reassembled into the long house tables, unlike the last two weekends when it had been the smaller rounds. Candles were shimmering everywhere and it seemed quite obvious that something important was going to be happening. I felt distinctly underdressed in my jeans and long sleeved polo shirt. At least I had thought to run a proper comb through my hair instead of my fingers this time. I took my seat beside Hermione, who was beside Ron, with the same look in my eyes as most everyone else. Wide-eyed curiosity.

Draco, I noted was sitting at his house table, looking distinctly better than me, pressed black shirt and pants, long hair combed flawlessly into a cascade of white blond, beautiful blue eyes staring at me with a flash of a smile before he glanced away as the Professors entered the room with a bit of a flourish. Minerva went straight to the podium; at least she wasn't going to keep us in suspense for too long.

"Students, I hope you will all please join me in welcoming our two new Professors this evening." She gestured to the wings of the stage with an outstretched arm all of our eyes following her.

"Professor Genvieve LaSeigne, our new Potions Professor." We were all prepared to clap as she walked out onto the stage, but the only sound that initially greeted her were dozens of jaws dropping.

"Merlin's Blood Harry." I heard Ron gasp under his breath, "She's a Veela."

"Yes she is." I responded, not able to take my eyes off of her. After a moment nervous twittering gave way to the delayed applause as some us came back to our senses. I can admit I wasn't the first one to do so. Hermione might have been.

She was enchanting, long white hair, falling below her waist, pale skin and green eyes, which was unusual, but of course she wasn't a full Veela, none of us males could possibly have been safe if she was. Her robes were a pale blue, trimmed with white and she walked with a dancer's grace, every step looking perfectly placed but effortless, as if the floor simply came to her and not the other way around. Her smile, as she nodded first to the other Professors, and then to us, was serene and magical, and collective sighs were heard in the room, quickly followed by embarrassed breaths, and huffs from some of the girls who were not terribly impressed at the way the boys seemed completely oblivious to everything but the new Professor. I got the impression that there were going to be a lot more students signing up for Potions class.

"Honestly." I heard Hermione mumble, "How on earth does the Headmistress think the boys around here are going to get any work done now?"

It got better.

Minerva, still standing at the podium announced that Professor LaSeigne was also going to be the new head of house for Gryffindor. I honestly thought that Hermione's head was going to explode, but she kept her cool quite well, managing not to smack Ron who had yet to close his awestruck mouth.

It was quite amusing to watch the male professors stumble about to rise from their seats, and those closest to her try to pull out a chair for her. They looked as awkward as I imagine many of us felt. Hermione might have been right; it was going to take some doing to get past her natural enchantments. But we had all managed it with Fleur so I knew it could be done, and I was certain that Minerva wasn't so daft as to bring more problems to Hogwarts. Her second announcement proved nearly as exciting, at least for the girls in the room.


	28. Chapter 28

A happy holiday weekend to all my readers in Canada and the United States who are celebrating, and wishes for an amazing World Cup final, which is what it is shaping up to be.

I hope you like our second new professor; and the mystery he is going to bring us.

Cheers!

Merick

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Professor Daniel Alonso was a sight to behold. About six feet tall by my reckoning from where I was sitting, dark brown hair, tousled like he had ridden in on a broom at a good clip, shoulder length, and wavy. His skin tone was dark, certainly in comparison to Professor LaSeigne, and looked as though he had spent a great deal of time outdoors just by the seeming roughness of it. His lips were thin, not oddly so, but as I had spent a great deal of time recently considering Draco's I felt qualified to comment on their differences; and Draco, having become more gaunt over the break, had a much fuller mouth. Professor Alonso had a narrow face, well, more like sculpted than forced, as Draco's was. It certainly wasn't round, and his features were well proportioned in it. His eyes were dark as well; brown, I thought, not being as distinct as the green of Professor LaSeigne it was harder to tell, and the lids shadowed over them somewhat, making them seem more deep set and smoky than they were up close. There was something in those eyes, something that reminded me a lot of the haunted look in Draco's sometimes, and even though I didn't know him at all at that point I could just tell that he had a story of some kind. The fact that his left hand was hidden away in a black glove where his right was not made me think immediately of Dumbledore after he had tried on Marvolo's ring, the curse of which would have ultimately killed him. The full truth of that would be revealed to me around a table at Christmas time, and I promise we'll get to that part too. He walked with purpose, you might notice that I take to care to watch how people move; it's something Firenze taught me, watch how a person carries themselves and you will gain insight into their nature. It's true, those with something to hide often walk with closeness about them, eyes cast down, and we have all seen how happiness gives one a 'spring in their step'. Alonso walked to accomplish something, with a very different kind of grace to his steps. He met the floor on its own ground. Okay, I know it sounds stupid, but think about it and it will make more sense.

Over all though, the point of the last paragraph was to emphasize that Professor Daniel Alonso was a very striking man. Did I mention he was wearing a midnight blue cloak? I should have, because he was, and it gave his whole figure a very compelling air; at least if the sighs from the female cohort in the room were any indication. All concern with the Veela was temporarily forgotten as the girls watched him take his seat with a thoughtful smile and nod to Minerva and the student body.

He was to be our new DADA professor, and I just got the feeling that he was going to be able to give us a great deal of insight into the Dark Arts. I also got another feeling, which I'm not proud to admit here, but it was jealousy, and it was because Draco's eyes followed him even longer than my own. Of note, Ginny's eyes were doing the same, and she wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. I could see her and the other girls giggling about something down at their end of the table, but I was quite certain that I didn't want to know what it was. At least it had nothing to with me, and that was good.

The common room was all abuzz with talk of the new Professors, almost to the point where the speculation was making me queasy. Ron kept going on about how he was sure he had seen the man somewhere before, but he just couldn't put his finger on where, and no amount of pleading to Hermione to help him remember was doing any good. I seemed to be the only one there who wasn't instantly obsessed with one or the other of them; or both, which was odd. I mean I appreciated that they were both very attractive, and that Alonso, (okay I'm going to call him that or Daniel from now on to save myself writing out Professor a few more dozen times) had something very intriguing about him. But the girls who were already twittering about how 'gore-gee-ous' he was, were simply ridiculous. And Ron deserved the smack he got from Hermione for going on about LaSeigne, when he had finally given up on sorting out Alonso. I had to get out of there for awhile, and as it was still too early to just go to bed I decided to go for a walk.

I still had the key to the Astronomy Tower, and since wandering by the Slytherin corridor on the off chance that Draco would be out there seemed rather pathetic, I chose the tower. It was getting easier and easier to do the steps without pause, so I guess that meant that I was getting in better shape, which could only help me on the Quidditch pitch. I rounded the classroom level, and then up the last short set of stairs, put my key in the lock, turned it, and pushed it open. Professor Sinistra turned slowly to greet me.

"Good Evening Mr. Potter, I had not expected to see you up here tonight. I found your assignment on my desk last night; and Mr. Malfoy's."

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you Professor, I can go if you like."

"Of course not, something brought you up here, who am I to say the reason is not as valid as my own?"

"I just needed to get out of the Gryffindor common room. Everyone was going on and on about the new professors. I needed to clear my head."

"I see." There was just something about the way she spoke that made you want to unburden yourself to her, and perhaps it was that part of her nature that had prompted Narcissa to confide in her. I sat down on the center bench and just started talking.

"Everyone is so intrigued by them, they're speculating about all manor of silly things. I don't want to be like that."

"You aren't curious?"

"I am, of course, but I'd prefer to hear the truth, from them, instead of giving in to idle gossip."

"You are an extraordinary young man Harry." I think I probably blushed when she said that, fortunately the tower wasn't well lit.

"I can certainly appreciate that they are both very attractive, but it spawns so much nonsense." I looked over to her where she was leaned against one of the windows. "Not that you aren't attractive too Professor." I added quickly, she laughed at me. Was I even allowed to say that? I hoped I wasn't breaking a whole host of rules right then.

"It's all right to speak the truth here as well Harry. I know I'm not in my twenties or thirties any longer, and that is just fine with me."

"But doesn't the Headmistress see what kind of problems could come of this? Hiring a Veela? How can she hope for the boys here to concentrate?"

"I'm certain the Headmistress has her reasons, and does it really seem so odd to have a half-Veela Professor here at Hogwarts? After all, we have a centaur, a half-giant, and a ghost teaching courses for goodness sake."

I hadn't actually thought of it that way before, and it did make some sense. We even had the son of a Death Eater in attendance, and though he tried to hide it, his arm still bore the hated Dark Mark.

"I understand from the Headmistress that we were quite lucky to get Miss LaSeigne here. She has been working privately for many years in her own shops, selling all manor of potions in Paris, and shipping them out to numerous other countries."

"Really?"

"Yes indeed."

"So why couldn't she be here for the start of term? And for that matter, why couldn't Alonso be here then as well? Were they coming together?" One of the rumors swirling had been that they must be a couple; which had set many frowns on the faces of both sexes.

"I imagine they took the same train in, but as for travelling together I don't believe so. Ever since the war the Ministry has tightened the granting of work permits for International applicants. It seems that it took this long to get both of our new instructors cleared to work here."

"I didn't realize that had been an issue."

"You'll learn it all when you start your Auror training Harry. I imagine your first few weeks there will be filled with scrolls of laws and regulations."

"If I make it that far."

"Oh Harry, that is something you needn't worry about at all. The Ministry would be fools not to admit you, and besides, I have some inside knowledge." She smiled and gestured upwards to the stars.

"I may not know Divination per se, but I know how to read what comes above me."

"Do you know anything else about my future Professor?"

"It becomes clearer every day."

"And Draco?"

She sighed, "His is a little more muddled."

"Am I in there somewhere?" Perhaps I shouldn't have asked the question, but I did anyways. Perhaps it revealed just a little more of the truth than I should have.

"Most certainly Harry. He will need your shoulders and your strength for a great while to come."

Hearing that made me feel a bit better; certainly better than I would have felt if she had come out and announced that the stars had told her we were going to become lovers.

"Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think it would be all right if Draco and I went out to Hogsmeade the weekend after next?"

"We did promise you both such an outing. Why that weekend?"

"Well, Ron has Quidditch practice booked for us next weekend, before the matches start and I can't miss that. And the next weekend is the Ravensclaw Hufflepuff match, so neither of us needs to be there, and with everyone else occupied I thought it might create less of a fuss." It was mostly the truth.

"That would be fine with me, and I shall let Minerva know. I don't imagine she'll have any issue with it. I hope you gentlemen will have a good time."

"Thank you Professor."

Now all I had to do was tell Draco and hope that the new Professors hadn't turned his head away from me. I was so caught up in that idea that I completely forgot to ask if Professor Sinistra had seen anything else about my future, or why she was up in the tower so late. She had made me forget about all of that. Or maybe I didn't really want to know?


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

When I got to the Great hall that morning I noticed that the tables were still assembled in their house lengths, I wondered if it was to give the new professors a better sense of where the students belonged; though I would have thought that our colored ties could have done that job. Neville and Luna were seated near the back of our table, and so I joined them.

"So where did you go off to last evening Harry?" Luna's singsong voice never seemed to change, no matter what the situation.

"Just out for a walk, I ended up having a nice talk with Professor Sinistra."

"You missed seeing Professor LaSeigne." Luna announced, which startled me, not because the conversation had turned to the new arrivals; I was prepared for that, but because the professor had actually come to our tower.

"She came up to the dorms?"

"Yes, she wanted to say hello to everyone."

"Am I going to be in trouble for not being there?"

"I can't see why?" Luna didn't always see the ramifications of certain actions; she was a very blissful person, emphasized by the tilt of her head as she spoke, and her wide, innocent looking eyes. "Besides, you were with another Professor, how could she object to that?" That statement had a bit more logic to it.

"What happened?"

"She just introduced herself to those of us who were there, and told us how pleased she was to be given the position of our Head of House. She tried to learn all of our names, but I don't know that she managed it all that well." Sing-songy again.

"You don't have to worry Harry, really. Lots of folk were already gone to bed when she came in." Neville tried to add some substance to the conversation. "She asked about how many of us were going to be in her class, and she spoke to Hermione for awhile about how she had enjoyed teaching it."

"She asked us what we were hoping to do when we left school." Luna's far away voice rang again. "I told her that I'm going to be going to work for my Dad." Luna's father published The Quibbler, a magazine that dealt mostly in strange creature sightings, and conspiracy theories. I subscribed, and I continue to subscribe, because Xenophilius Lovegood stood by me, for as long as he could, during the war. And he published the truth back then. Now a days it's back to things more on the sensational side, but that's all right. Luna runs it, and she's always been a friend.

"Dad wants me to start adventuring as soon as I get out of school to find more wonderful creatures to write about. And I've asked Neville to start writing stories about his fabulous plants; if he finds the time." Neville leaned back and shook his head, just beyond her glance. I knew that Neville had set his hopes on going to work for the Ministry in the future, as an Auror, like Ron and myself, and I knew his reluctance to write anything for The Quibbler came from a reticence to have that as part of his reputation.

"And what are you up to today Harry?" Neville asked, trying to steer the conversation away from himself.

"Just thought I'd do some studying. Perhaps I should go and find Professor LaSeigne and introduce myself?"

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about that." Luna sang. A hush had fallen over the room and I didn't even have to guess why, Genevieve LaSeigne had just walked into the Great Hall, and was heading straight towards us. I tried to sit up a little taller as she neared.

"Good morning." Her voice wasn't as heavy with the French accent as I had expected it to be; I was judging her by Fleur of course, the only other French part Veela I knew.

"Good morning Professor." The three of us parroted back in an almost synchronous voice.

"Would you mind terribly if I joined you for a few moments?"

Of course there really wasn't an answer for that besides 'yes'.

"Unless you are speaking about something which I should not be a party to of course."

"Please Professor, have a seat." Neville stood up for her, and I realized I should have done the same. There was no chair to pull out or he'd have certainly done that as well. She gracefully stepped over the bench and sat down beside Neville, and directly across from me. Before she'd even straightened her skirts an elf had appeared to present her with a small pot of tea and a croissant. A male elf I note.

"And you must be Harry Potter?" She poured without looking at what she was doing, and just smiled at me.

"Yes Ma'am." I answered, trying to sound confident with myself, pushing back the natural urge to become a drooling idiot in front of the Veela. I surprised myself with how easy it was, even though she was only a few feet from me, and I could smell her perfume, and see her beautiful green eyes.

"I've heard a great many wonderful things about you Harry."

"I hope that at least some of them were true Ma'am."

She laughed, and it sounded like bells chiming.

"And so modest." She turned to Neville, who did have a bit of a goofy smile plastered to his face. "You were quite right in your descriptions of him Neville." Apparently she remembered Neville's name, and apparently that pleased him.

"I've learned over the years not to believe everything you hear Ma'am."

"As have I Harry."

"I hope you'll let me prove myself to you in person."

"I look forward to it. You are taking my NEWT level Potions course aren't you?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"And what are you working towards?"

"I'm hoping to become an Auror Ma'am."

"A noble pursuit indeed. I hope you will feel free to come to me, as I hope all of you will, if you have any questions or would like any extra help."

"Yes Ma'am, thank you, I will. I really do want to do well."

"The Ministry would be fools to turn you away Harry." Luna, who had been left out of the conversation, but who seemed not the least fazed by it, announced. "My father says you'll make the best Auror in decades."

"Then your father is a smart man Luna." She remembered Luna's name as well, I was beginning to really like Genevieve, and not just because she complemented me. "I hope I will have the chance to meet him one day."

I could just imagine that one; poor Xenophilius, he wouldn't stand a chance.

Genevieve sipped at her tea and pulled little bites off her croissant with long white fingers before popping the pastry into her mouth.

"Would you mind terribly if I asked you a question Professor?" I don't know quite where I got the nerve to ask the question, but out it came. Perhaps it was the way I was channeling the anxiety of her proximity?

"Of course not, I'll try to answer you, if I can."

"Why did you decide to come to teach at Hogwarts?"

A smile and another sip of tea, "Your Headmistress is a very persuasive person."

The answer wasn't coy, or cagey. Or at least I didn't perceive it that way back then, but of course; I could have just been under her spell.

"It was time for me to do something different, and your Headmistress made a compelling argument to me." She didn't seem to want to get into the details of that argument, and I didn't want to seem impertinent to her, so I simply told her that I was glad she had accepted and with a smile, she finished her tea and pastry and with a gentile nod moved on.

I looked at Neville, he looked at me; Luna stared into her juice, as if trying to divine something from it.

"This is going to be interesting." Neville proclaimed. I couldn't help but agree as I watched Genevieve move over past the Ravenclaw table, to the Slytherin table, and sit down beside Draco and Pansy. I couldn't hear their conversation, and I wished just then that I had one of George's extendible ears because I have to admit a sincere curiosity as to what she was saying.

At first she spoke to Pansy, I kept stealing glances over Luna's shoulder, she didn't seem to notice my wandering concentration, but after a while I could see that she was asking Draco some questions as well. He was doing his best to hide behind the long fringes of his hair, as he had done at the start of term. I felt for him, because he seemed uncomfortable, I had not had the opportunity to speak with him about how he felt in the presence of a Veela, and I can admit to some worry about that as well. My quick glances showed his shoulders to have stayed hunched forward a bit, and his own gaze stayed mostly on his coffee cup, rather than meeting Genevieve's eyes. I hoped she didn't think him rude, though I suppose she might be used to men averting their eyes from her. She moved off from them after a few more minutes and I didn't watch where she went after that. Mostly I tried to watch Draco, without looking desperately obvious, which was more of a challenge with Neville than with Luna, bless her. And when he stood I did as well, to speak with him about going away.

To have said that Draco was excited about my idea wouldn't have been accurate, his response, while encouraging, was subdued. I followed him after breakfast to talk, and pulled him into a little corner; one of the many we'd found recently. The look in his eyes when I asked him probably matched the nervousness in my own. I wanted to be confident with my invitation, but again I was stuttering. He looked at his shoes a lot, I felt sick to my stomach, but then, a brush of his fingertips across the back on my wrist, hidden behind our cloaks as we conspired in the corner of the entranceway made my heart leap.

"I can't wait." He whispered to me, just to make certain that no one else heard him.

"I wish it could be sooner." I added.

"Me too." His voice actually sounded as though it was wavering, though to guess at the reason would have been speculation on my part, and I was truly beyond speculation anymore.

"Are you sure this is what you want Draco?" No speculation in my heart, but uncertainty that morning.

"More than anything Harry. I really wish we could just run away now."

That line bothered me, and there was no way I was letting him go with that.

"Meet me down by Hagrid's later, let's go for a fly?"

"Yeah. I need to do a couple of things, maybe an hour?" And he slipped away from me like a shadow before I could ask him what it was that was distressing him.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Ron figured it out, about Alonso that is. He couldn't even wait till I got myself seated in the common room to tell me.

"He's a Quidditch Champion!"

News to me, I hadn't expected that.

"He played for the Braga Broomfleet!"

I had no idea who that was, or who they were; however you say it. Ron continued with his story.

"I knew I'd seen him somewhere before, it was in my Quidditch annual, 1995."

He remembered back to a magazine from 1995?

"He was a chaser, one of the best on the team, but he left under 'mysterious' circumstances at the end of the season that year. There was tons of speculation about why, but he never admitted to anything and just sort of dropped off the radar after that."

"And now he's appeared at Hogwarts?"

"Yeah! Wild isn't it?" Ron was almost vibrating with excitement. At that moment I felt bad for Alonso, because I couldn't imagine that Ron was going to let him remain anonymous for much longer. "He's so far from Portugal." At least now I knew where Braga was; geography really wasn't on the curriculum at Hogwarts.

"Have you told anyone else yet?" I asked hesitantly.

"Just Hermione, and Ginny, and maybe Dean heard too, and the others in the common room." Alonso was doomed; if he had intended to remain unidentified. I sighed. Not that I had any reason to worry for Alonso, but I was just in the mood to worry about other people right then; I hadn't forgotten about Draco. I wondered what he was up to, and continued to wonder about what Genevieve had been speaking to him about, and why he had asked about going away sooner. I hoped she hadn't said anything to upset him. It nearly killed me to make small talk for that hour, waiting to go out to Hagrid's. Fortunately Hermione had made plans with Ron to get him caught up in Charms; and as I was doing reasonably well in that subject she hadn't drawn me into the study session. Too bad his Charms class wasn't about past Quidditch champions.

There was something wrong with Draco. It was the only thought running through my head as I tried not to bolt down the path to Hagrid's cottage. There were other students out all over the grounds, the day being really warm for late September. I didn't want to look anxious, or obvious, especially as I had my broom in my hands, not that flying wasn't allowed, it was, but if Draco had his out, and headed the same way, well, we'd wanted to be discreet about things, and I didn't want to cause him any more distress if someone was to question either of us.

He was waiting for me, just inside the shadows of the woods that Hagrid's home stood guardian of. I'd spent a lot of time in those woods, even some with Draco, on that first detention night. If I'd known then what I knew then; I'm not sure how I write that in past, past tense, forgive me. The memories of the hatred I'd had seemed so foreign as I felt a nervous shudder cross my back on spotting him. Hagrid was nowhere to be seen, but I'd had no worries about explaining my presence to him. Hagrid had held many of my secrets before without betraying me, and with Dumbledore gone, I guess he was the closest thing I had to a father figure just then.

"Hey." I know, it's not the most original greeting, but it works for guys, trust me.

Draco forced a smile onto his face and a tiny little wave with his right hand. He had his broom in his left. I took a few more steps towards him, into the cover of the woods, and generally beyond the view of anyone on the grounds.

"Are you okay Draco?"

"You know Harry, you ask me that altogether too often." I wasn't sure how to take that; I didn't want to believe that he was actually angry with me for some reason.

"I ask you because I care about you Draco." He had no immediate answer, but his expression didn't look adversarial so I continued. "So, are you okay Draco?"

"No." His voice was suddenly quiet, and his shoulders slumped and I had to go to him. And he let me wrap him in my arms with no resistance.

"What's happened? Did Professor LaSeigne say something to you?"

"I just want to get out of here Harry. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore." I coaxed him to sitting and joined him on a convenient fallen log. I reached out for his hand, and held it tightly as he began to speak.

"She asked about my mother. Not at first, at first she just asked if I was taking her class, and what I hoped to do once I left school." It seemed she was gathering the same information from all of us, to what end I did not know then. "She seemed distressed that I had no plans, and then she asked about you."

"Me?" Now I was even more curious, and it was hard not to let my mind wander.

"She wanted to know if we were friends?"

"Why?"

"She didn't really say."

Now why on earth would it matter to her if we were friends or not? Was she looking to find out more information about me? Once I opened the floodgates it was hard not to think of the worst, but I kept it to myself.

"Then she asked about my mother."

Aw hell, now why would she do that?

"She asked after her, she said that my mother had been a good customer, and that she'd ordered many things from her shop over the years."

"Was that true?"

"It could have been, I never much kept track of Mum's shopping."

"Professor Sinistra did say that her shops had been really popular." I tried to offer some kind of neutral explanation. I don't know if he even heard me, he seemed so lost in the memory.

"She mentioned that she hadn't heard from my mother in quite awhile."

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth."

"Really?"

"Mostly. I told her that Mum had left the country. She asked me why I hadn't gone with her." A tear rolled down his cheek, "I told her I hadn't been invited. She stopped asking me questions after that and eventually just left."

"Oh Draco, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault Harry."

"I can still feel badly for you Draco."

He drew in a horrible sobbing breath; it made me want to cry for him.

"I can't fall apart again Harry." He couldn't even look me in the eye, but the clutch of his hand in mine told me everything; he was fighting so hard.

"It's just me Draco, we're alone here, I don't mind."

"But I do. I just can't lose it. Look what happened the last time."

"As I recall, it worked out pretty well."

"But it might not have. What I did, exposing myself to you like that, what if you hadn't taken it the way you did? What if you'd been repulsed by me? I would have lost the only safe place I had. I don't have anywhere else to go Harry, nothing else to live for."

A chill ran up my spine, "please don't talk like that Draco, it scares me. Nothing like that happened, it's all good, and it gave us a place to start didn't it? You have to know by now that I'm not going to run, there's nothing about you that would make me do that."

His gaze was once again off into the dying foliage around us, not focused on anything concrete but his own fears. "I wish we could just run away Harry. Somewhere where no one knew either of our names, or even gave a damn about us. But of course, that's selfish isn't it." I sat silently, just letting him talk.

"Your name is going to get you all your dreams isn't it? 'Potter', it'll get you into the Ministry, it'll get you recognition for something good and noble." I wasn't convinced of it the way he was, but I have to admit that I certainly wouldn't have minded if it did.

"My name only gets me looks of fear or hatred, it'll never get me anything positive. It's just a curse, this 'Malfoy' label."

"It won't always be that way Draco. Even after only a month back at school you've found me, and you've even begun charming Hermione."

"Witches and Wizards have long memories Harry. Hogwarts is a microcosm. What happens here is different than anywhere else in the world."

"But wouldn't you think that here would be the worst for you? After the incident with Dumbledore and all?" I really didn't want to say 'after you tried to kill the Headmaster'. But it was the truth. He had been welcomed back, and not shunned by the Professors.

"The truth will come out Draco, people will begin to see it, I know it will."

"He lived in my house Harry, that's all anyone is going to remember, Malfoy Manor, the home of the Dark Lord."

"Then sell it."

"More like burn it to the ground."

"If you like." At that he turned to look at me, eyebrows raised. I was actually kind of surprised I'd even said it. "The people of Hogsmeade burned the Shrieking Shack last summer, it made them feel better about reclaiming their home." I left it at that; I didn't want to push the arson idea too far.

"They're all wonderful words Harry, but just notions, I wish they could be true."

"Maybe they can be." I let go of his hand, hoping the pressure I'd put on it hadn't been too much; that I hadn't hurt him in my own fear of his despair. I reached out for him in a different way, brushing my fingers down the side of his face, cupping his chin gently, and drawing myself to him a little more than pulling him to me. I let my lips meet his, and pushed my tongue past lips that were at first hesitant, but quickly opened to me, just as the rest of his body did. I could feel the tense sadness across his body finally relax, and when the pressure on my lips matched what I was giving his I knew that he was going to be all right again, even if just for a little while longer right then.

"Are you scared of the woods Harry?"

"With everything I've done, everything we've seen? Not in the slightest."

"Would you come deeper with me?"

"Of course."

He was still afraid of being discovered; oh, the truth was so was I, and not because of his name. Going further into the woods, for some true privacy sounded wonderful just then, and I followed him through the growth, avoiding the well worn paths for fear of running into one of the Centaurs who still resided there, or even Hagrid, since I didn't actually know where he was. Though, with Hagrid, you always heard him coming so avoiding him wouldn't be hard.

We walked for five or ten minutes, me following Draco till he found a little clearing. I vaguely recalled seeing it before. It wasn't sunlit, the overhanging branches shaded it; though with their leaves starting to turn and drop it was more open than it would have been were it summer time. There were the normal sounds of animals, magical and non-magical stirring about in the underbrush, but very little else. He beckoned me to come sit beside him on a mossy bed of sorts, and I joined him, not quite certain what he had in mind, but body willing, whatever it was.


	31. Chapter 31

Okay, so, a warning, this chapter begins with a bit of smut. A wee bit. Just for fun. So avoid the first nine paragraphs if you have a sensitive disposition.

Once again, I don't own any of these characters, just the situations I put them in; and there are going to be some compromising ones to come.

Tee Hee.

Enjoy.

Merick

Chapter Thirty-One

The ground was warm under the palms of my hands as I sat, but it didn't stop me trembling, I remember. Some times it was so hard to understand Draco back then, while we worked through all of the blows he'd been dealt, and all the subterfuge that continued to underpin our relationship. It was bad enough that we were ourselves scared of being discovered, forcing us to hide, but the fact that so many of the Professors seemed to have foreknowledge of what we were destined to do, knowledge they parceled out in infuriatingly little drabs here and there, made our first few months at Hogwarts very anxious ones indeed.

Back in that glade, and later, hidden away in my bedroom, those were some of the few times that we could really let our guards down, and just shut out everything else. A few precious hours, they kept us going, kept Draco going through such difficulties.

Leaning back on my arms Draco hovered over me, just a little, and pulled my shirttails free from my trousers. His hands, warm as they were ran up along my bare chest as he leaned in to kiss me. Balance as it was, I could move one arm up, my right one I remember, to wrap around his back to likewise pull his shirt free so that I could touch his skin. The pressure I put on his back forced him closer to me, almost to the point where I could feel the rise and fall of his chest on my own. He continued to kiss me, curling his head around my face as he went along, bringing his lips to my ear and whispering, in that deep, sexy voice that made my resolve melt.

"Touch me," and then a deep breath, which betrayed his own trepidation at the request.

I knew what he meant and I rolled him onto his back then, keeping my right hand on his abdomen as I guided him down, letting my fingers just slide against the waistband of his pants. His chest fluttered as I let my fingertips press downward, pushing against him, and he moaned. Using slow circles I worked my fingers against him, watching his face as he closed his eyes, watching his lips part, and hearing the indrawn air. I wanted more from him then and with my other hand I undid the fastings on his pants, just enough that I could slip my hand down between the cotton fabrics of the pants and his shorts. His moans became deeper as he seemed to struggle to find calm breaths.

His arousal was plain, cupped into my palm as I continued to rub him; my own matching his. I wished desperately for a clue from him if I should go further, because I was afraid. It came as his thumbs hooked the elastic of his shorts, and his now open eyes stared at me.

"Please?" The plea was so desperately genuine.

"Oh God yes." His fingers worked no faster than my own as I took him into my hand, solid flesh against my skin and began to stroke the length of him. His gasps were labored, held longer and longer with each stroke, and I could feel the muscles tensing against me. My own chest was heaving with the excitement of it and the anticipation of his resolution was delicious.

His back arched against my ministrations and I knew it could not be long for him, and so, without leaving my hold of him, I bent over to him, and forced my mouth against his, taking his tongue and feeling, as well as hearing the cry that rose as he reached his orgasm. I held his mouth through it, giving him my breath, and feeling his body finally easing back to the ground. I pulled his shirt over his exposed body and then lay down beside him, searching for his hand with mine. When I found it, I held it tightly, feeling the trembling, and loving it.

I will never forget the first words that Professor Daniel Alonso spoke to us; seriously, I've probably said it before in this work, but this instance is no less true.

He said to us, the NEWT level DADA students that 'there is the capacity for evil in every single one of us, some of us will choose to express it, some of us will fight it, and some of us will become its victims, but never doubt that it is there.' At that point I think I recall wanting to hit him, or maybe throw a spell at him; whichever, the point was, I was angry. I didn't necessarily disagree with him, but Draco was sitting right behind me, and I knew it was the last thing he needed to hear, and, quite frankly, the last thing that many of students in that class needed to hear. We wanted hope, and it became clear that Alonso had a history that he hadn't put behind himself yet, and hope he hadn't managed to find for himself yet.

He still wore the black glove over his left hand, and it was actually more of a gauntlet, reaching up to his elbow. I won't make it out as if he wasn't talented, because if I thought Snape could hurl a venomous spell at someone, even he might have quivered in the presence of this man, at least at the first. As much as I hated him that day, I could at least respect his abilities. And over the year I learned a great deal from him, spells I use to this day; but at the beginning, I saw him as another enemy I had to face.

Alonso had also not endeared himself to me in those first two weeks because of how he had teamed up with Ginny, or fallen under her spell, or whatever happened. But as soon as she had found out that he was a Quidditch champion she had begun to scheme, and after only a week of classes, and before the start of the season, she had managed to convince him to sponsor and coach her team, an all girls team, which was added to the four house teams for that season. They called themselves the Hogwarts Harpies, after the Hollyhead Team. I had another name for them, and it rhymed just as well, but I won't print it here; I gave up that anger a long while ago.

Those words were echoing in my ears as we left The Three Broomsticks, only a few minutes after we entered. Of everyone there, it was Rosemerta who had surprised me the most, and disappointed me the most as well.

So here's how that happened.

We wanted to get an early start so we left for Hogsmeade before breakfast, figuring we'd have something at Rosemerta's before seeing, and being seen at a few shops. Alibis established we were going to head for the outskirts of town and disapparate, headed for 12 G. I'd hardly slept the night before, not that I was exhausted, I was fueled with adrenalin, and anticipation, and a sexual tension that made parts of me just ache. To have hours and hours of privacy with Draco, the implications of which I had been dreaming of for weeks both thrilled and terrified me.

The bell over the pub door jingled happily, just as I had remembered from the summer time visits. 'Just grab a seat, I'll be right over,' the same greeting as always, Rosemerta didn't even turn around to see who it was. We did as bidden, choosing a small table nearer to the door, not quite out of the way, but not quite in the way either. We took off our robes, hung them on the wall and settled in for breakfast. With a sweep of her robes and white apron Rosemerta spun our way with two menus in her hands, smiled as she saw me, was about to utter a more personal greeting, and then stopped mute, for just a split second, as she set on eyes on my companion. She tried to recover, but it was no use.

"Harry." Her voice even sounded nervous, "how good to see you again, and you've brought a friend." She stuttered; and where I found my own verbal slips annoying, hers was sickening. "Draco? Isn't it?" The smile on her face had changed to a nervous approximation.

"Hi Rosemerta, nice to see you too." The answer was rote; I didn't know what to do. I cursed my naivety. She couldn't even hand me the menus, instead I took them from her.

"Let me go and get you two some coffee." And she whirled again, stiffer, again forced and I could see her man behind the bar staring at us. His look was contempt, and I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it was really as bad as Draco had said.

I looked at Draco who was utterly pale. The happy expression on his face from our walk over had vanished, our shared excitement was gone. In its place, darkened sadness had fallen over him, and it was all my fault. I got up, and went to the bar, followed by the eyes of the other six or so patrons in the place, once they stopped staring at Draco that was.

"Is there a problem Rosemerta?" I asked, emboldened by my anger.

"Harry." She tried to keep her voice quiet, "why are you here with him?"

"He's my friend and classmate Rosemerta, and we've come for breakfast." I didn't keep my voice low, not that I shouted it or anything. But I had nothing to be ashamed of.

"Harry, everyone can see the death eater mark on his arm." I didn't turn; I wasn't giving any of them the satisfaction of seeing me do that. Truthfully, I hadn't even noticed it, it meant so little to me then.

"So what are you saying Rosemerta? Are we not welcome here?"

"Harry, it's not that, you're always welcome here, you helped save this town, this country." She was sounding desperate, but my heart was stone.

"But not him?"

"I know he's your friend Harry but, I have everyone else to think about."

"Then by all means, do think about your narrow minded ways as much as you need to, to justify your actions to yourself. It's a real pity that you can't see far enough to understand the real evil, and differentiate it from the victims."

I almost stomped back to Draco, but I wasn't about to look like some dramatic fool, so I paced my steps as well as the angry heaving in my chest.

"Harry, don't," came Rosemerta's voice, I stopped, waited, a second or two to see what she would say next, to give her the chance to do what was right. She said nothing.

"Come on Draco." He stood, grabbing up both our cloaks, looking only at me. I resisted the urge to hurl something else at the rest, something to make them feel as small and petty as they were, but again, I thought the better of it. I let the slamming of the door behind us say everything I couldn't.

"Let's get out of here, I have a much better place in mind to eat anyways."

Draco said nothing, but looking at his face I could see the tears welling. I wished just then that I could express the evil that was supposedly in my soul; at least according to Alonso, because I would have slammed more than just a door as we departed.

"I just want to go back to the castle Harry. I can't do this."

"No, please Draco, trust me, I can make this better." I was desperate to get him away from there, to my house, someplace where he could forget the ugliness.

"It isn't going to get better."

"It will, Draco, not everyone is like them."

"But everyone is going to know, they'll see the mark, I'll never have any peace."

"Please." I wanted to grab his hand and drag him to the far side of town. I had no illusions of stopping in at any shops, or anything else any longer; I had to get him out. Fortunately he followed my urging, and not many other shops were open yet so we met very few people on our hurried trip out of town. Arriving at the place I had envisioned for our departure, I finally did take his hand, and apparated both of us to the trellised-in back porch of 12 G.

"Come on." I yanked off my cloak and took his, he seemed very reluctant at exposing his arm again, but I managed to drag him out the back gate, and down the slender alley to emerge in a busy London street. I knew where I was going, even if he didn't, and I was so happy that he gave in and let me lead him.

The shop we went into didn't have an antique bell over the door, or a fireplace connected to the Floo network, or anything vaguely magical about it at all. But it did have what I thought Draco needed. Open minds.

"Harry!" A happy call came from behind the counter. "Oh my God, when you said you were off to school I didn't think I wouldn't see you for a month."

Melody came around from behind the counter where she had been stacking coffee mugs. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. Draco was astonished. Melody just kind of expressed herself that way, I'd never thought much about it.

"Hi Melody, it's good to see you again too. I want you to meet my friend Draco." I gestured to him with my left hand. He tried to smile at her, it was hard not to, she had that kind of effervescent personality. She stuck out her hand in a comical kind of fashion, snapping it at the elbow as she offered it to him.

"Well the pleasure is all mine." She looked him up and down, and I could tell that she wasn't kidding, she was enjoying the view. I think Draco sensed it as well as he shook her hand because the half hearted smile became more genuine. "You boys sit down, I'll bring you some coffees. Draco, double double?"

"Yes thank you."

"I just knew it." She was quite pleased with herself and hurried off to pour us two cups. We sat, the place wasn't terribly busy, which was odd for a Saturday morning, but as it turned out there'd been a football match on late the previous night, so folks in the neighborhood were having a lie-in.

"She's a friend of yours?" Draco asked as we sat.

"I met her over the summer when I was working on the house."

"You go out?"

"No, just friends over coffee I guess."

"She certainly seemed excited to see you."

"And you as well."

"She's a muggle?" He lowered his voice.

"The whole place is, so relax."

"I've never been to a muggle place before."

"Just enjoy your coffee." Melody was on her way back, one mug in each hand, black half apron tied around her waist, tight white tee shirt covering a potentially distracting figure. I wondered why I hadn't really noticed it before; but of course I had been distracted by the house, and Ginny back then.

"Here you are gents, can I get you some breakfast too?"

I nodded and she left us two little cards, pulled from the apron pocket with about a half dozen selections on them; it wasn't a fancy place, mostly egg sandwiches and pastries, but it was what we needed. When she returned to take our orders she noticed Draco's dark mark, the scar of the skull and snake on his left forearm.

"Wow, that's a really different tattoo." She actually put a finger out to touch it. Draco flinched.

"Sorry, does it hurt? It just looks so different, like a shadow. Who did it for you?"

"Someone back home." He answered, quite unsure of what to say, or of her reaction to the mark he saw a brand.

"I've got one here, but it's got more color than yours." Unashamedly she turned around and pulled up her tee shirt to expose a tiny green dragon, inked in the small of her back.

"Uh, wow, what kind is it?" Draco asked hesitantly.

"Well it's a dragon silly, I didn't think it was that bad."

"No, no, nothing like that, it's very nice. It looks like a Welsh Green." I kicked Draco under the table, and the look in my eyes reminded him that she was a muggle, and that she had no idea about dragon breeds.

"A what?" She asked, turning around and tucking her shirt in again.

"Oh nothing, just looks like a picture from a book I read once, a Welsh one."

"Really, wow, I just liked it because it looked so magical. I love magical stuff." She really had no idea what she was saying, or who she was saying it to.

"Have you gotten one yet Harry?" She asked me.

"Oh no," I held up my hands, as if that was any indication about whether or not I had a tattoo. "Nothing like that for me."

"You should think about it, you would look good with a dragon or something magical on you." I kept a straight face as she went back to get our food.

"You never told her anything Harry?"

"Not a word Draco."

"Funny that."


	32. Chapter 32

Another warning, this chapter contains a sexual encounter between Harry and Draco, so please skip onward if this will upset you.

Musical Selection: have a listen to Faber Drive "You and I Tonight" I imagine it playing in the background, even though Harry doesn't have a stereo.

Please enjoy.

Merick

Chapter Thirty-Two

"So how long are you two in town for?" Melody had made a point of popping by whenever she wasn't needed, to ask us all manner of questions about our classes; which we dodged; sports, which we also dodged, and about our plans. Every reappearance seemed so blissfully normal and benign, I could see Draco's shoulders relaxing and true face reappearing.

"Just the day I'm afraid."

"That's a pity, my friend's band is playing tonight just a few blocks over, and we could have all gone to see them." She seemed genuinely disappointed. "I could have been the envy of all my friends, walking in with the two of you."

Apparently we were eye candy as well, I fancied that, so did Draco. And I sincerely wished we could have met up with her later to go dancing.

"When do you think you'll be back again Harry?" She asked as we were settling up the bill; I always carried muggle money with me when I was at home, it hadn't been a problem for Gringott's to change it over for me; apparently it was quite a common request.

"Probably not until Christmas break." Melody made her face look a little pouty, first at me, and then at Draco.

"I wish I had a car, I'd come up to Uni and visit you. The three of us could have so much fun in your dorm." And that was an image I did dwell on a few times I have to say, but of course, I knew it wasn't possible. I didn't even think that muggles could find Hogwarts, let alone gain admittance to it for a weekend party. "You have to promise that you'll call me when you get back into town, so we can go out." She looked at Draco, "and you too sir."

She scribbled a number on the back of a menu, twice, tore it in half and pressed a scrap into each of our hands.

"Please?"

"Of course Melody. I think it'd be fun." Draco just nodded, obviously completely mystified at the concept of calling someone with a number code. I explained it to him later and he thought it was rather charming. At least, he mentioned, if you wanted to talk to someone you didn't have to get all dressed up to see them through the Floo network, or apparate over to their place. He wondered if wizards shouldn't invent something similar.

Our trip to the coffee shop had accomplished exactly what I had hoped it would. Draco looked pleased with himself again, all thought of The Three Broomsticks had been pushed from both our minds, and there was a refuge established for him; the muggle world, and 12G. Which is what you really want to hear about now I imagine.

There were two envelopes on the kitchen table when we wandered in. The first from Charlie, thanking me, of all the silliness, for letting him stay at the house while he was working for the Ministry. And the second, from Molly, who hoped I didn't mind that she'd bought curtains and bedding with some of the money I'd left with Charlie, and hoped that I liked the designs she'd chosen. All were very subdued, and appropriate for the house, and for my tastes, if you're curious. As I was reading the notes Draco had wandered about the main floor quietly. There wasn't a great deal to look at, I hadn't replaced the pictures and portraits, and I'd taken down the tapestry of the family tree and emblems, all due respect to Sirius, but I didn't need to be reminded about the history of the Death Eaters who had lived there. It had taken a few coats of magical 'obliteration' paint to finally conceal the musty and moldy fixtures, and I had been close to just taking out entire walls on that weekend. But, in the end, most of the walls were white, or beige, or earthy green. The wood sparkled, and there was light coming in through windows that had been previously shuttered. I couldn't wait to share it with everyone who'd seen it before, and remembered the screaming of the portraits that used to hang on the staircase walls, and the drab hangings and iron that had been everywhere. It was going to be my home now; Kreacher's and mine, and Ron and Hermione's for a while; Ron had thought it was a great idea too. And I wasn't beyond imagining other guests either.

Leaving the letters behind I found Draco in the living room, just staring at the fireplace.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I offered.

"A what?"

Oops, muggle talk again. "What were you just thinking about?"

"Not much really. Nice house you have here."

"Thanks."

Seems we were back to the nervous small talk. I went to stand beside him and take his hand, clasping it gently, not pulling in any direction, just enjoying the touch.

"We can go somewhere else of you like? We don't have to stay here. There's lots of museums around, or galleries?"

He turned to me, a beautiful soft expression in his eyes, their blue looking so much like water then.

"No. I want to go upstairs." He breathed out softly, looking for the courage to say the words out loud. "I want to make love to you."

My knees nearly buckled to hear it.

My room, the master suite, took up a good portion of the upper floor of the house. The first floor of the house had a drawing room and two bedrooms. On the second floor Regulus's bedroom had been made over from its Slytherin green and black and was waiting for guests, but the only other bedroom on the floor, Syrius' remained virtually untouched, as I have said before. By Christmas I figured I might need to open it up again, and I was preparing myself for that. I'd tried to count out the guests and the number of bedrooms. Myself in the master, Arthur and Molly in one room, Ron and Hermione in another, Ginny, who wouldn't be in with me would need a forth, and I expected Charlie and George, so they could share a fifth. If Bill and Fleur came I would need the sixth, and that would be Sirius'. I had another two and a half months to sort that out.

I hadn't seen my room yet, so it was going to be a surprise for both Draco and I. I was surprised that I actually made it up the two flights of stairs to the landing; my knees were shaking. So was my hand as I reached for the door to push it open, but I managed it. It was beautiful.

The set I had picked out of the catalogue had been delivered, and set up, made up with a rich brown coverlet of raw satin and four pillows in chocolate brown slips. It looked so natural against the wood of the bed. The rest of the set made the room look so different than when I had arrived at the house in July. It looked inviting, and warm, and like a comfortable place to retire at night, to find peace. I hoped Draco saw it the way I did. He followed me into the room, and I heard him shut the door behind us both. With my back turned to him I felt his hands light on my waist, and I know that I shuddered.

"I don't know what I should do Draco." It was meant as an apology for whatever I was sure I was going to do wrong. His voice was like a deep purr in my ear.

"Trust me."

"I do Draco."

"Then I will show you." With his wand out he lit the lanterns and candles around the room, the curtains were already drawn so the flickering light cast shadows around the furniture, and the walls. To me, it looked peaceful, like a chapel. Draco spoke again as he brushed his fingertips over my shoulders.

"Please trust that I will do nothing to hurt you Harry. And promise me that you will tell me to stop, if I should do anything you don't want."

"I will."

His hands began to pull my shirt free, and I began to unbutton it from the front, letting it drop from my body. I turned to Draco and found him pulling off his own shirt, over his head, casting it to the floor. He brought his hands to the sides of my face and pulled me into a deep kiss. A few steps backwards and he guided me to the edge of the bed, the gentle insistence from his mouth had me sit, and then lay onto my back as he hovered over me, kissing my bare skin, hands moving to slide down my pants. I know I was shaking, I know I was scared, but I did put my trust in him.

We lay, skin touching skin, his fingers brushing over me as if I were a canvas, and he the artist. Up until that point in my life, I don't think I had ever felt so desired, in good or evil, and this was certainly good. I closed my eyes and let myself be selfish for awhile, not moving, but just sinking into every caress and kiss, feeling my own arousal begin, not feeling embarrassment, and feeling his, pressed into my thigh as he crawled over me.

"Will you let me have you?" His voice was desperately breathless, whispered in my ear; "I promise you that I will make it perfect." I nodded, unable to form the words to answer him.

I'll try to describe what happened, in the right order, but so many things happened, and so many emotions were a part of it that I hope I do the description justice.

Lying on my stomach Draco continued to caress me, keeping me at once relaxed, yet still wound up in anticipation. He began by kneading the muscles of my shoulders, forcing me to remain calm, cooing soft words at me, and sounds that only heightened my hopes, and desires for him. Fingertips, wet with oil traced the paths of the lines of my back and down my buttocks, finally venturing to brush against me in a way that made my whole body tremble. He gently traced me there, and I couldn't help but moan softly as his fingers teased me with what was to come.

From there he brought his weight to me, and brushed his arousal against me. I know that I tensed as he did it, and that my body quivered. Soon his hands were again rubbing me, soothing me. Then it was bliss, as he so carefully, and gently pushed himself against me, and my body opened to him. His thrusts against me, and into me were tender, delving deeper at a slow pace, not a frenzy of passion, nothing out of control except the feelings rushing through my body. At his deepest thrust he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his chest against my back, and I felt his warmth and the way his own chest was trembling with each unsure breath. His own initial quiet moans became deeper and more prolonged as he rocked back and forth against me. His hands reached for my own swollen arousal, carefully stroking me at the same tempo.

"Oh God Dragon." There was nothing else I could think of to say, to express everything that my body was feeling, or that my mind was feeling.

His own breaths became more clipped and audible, and I could feel the muscles across his abdomen tensing. His orgasm came so naturally, his arms reaching to hold me close as he cried out quietly into my shoulder, where he had laid his head on his last stroke. He had promised it would be perfect, and it had been, and I knew that I was on the verge of tears; the emotions were so overwhelming. We lay together, frozen in time, his arms around me, and my own arms holding them there in place as I allowed everyone of his waves to rush over us both.

But it wasn't over for either of us yet.


	33. Chapter 33

I know it's been awhile, but I am trying to take all your comments to heart and make this a better story, and not just smut. So I have tried to make every word count here, to advance the plot into the ultimate direction my vision has it treading. I hope that my direction works for you all, and that you enjoy this.

Cheers

Chapter Thirty-Three

Resting on our sides, Draco still behind me we lay quietly for a few moments, breathing together, hardly moving. I couldn't have formed a coherent thought right then if my life had depended on it; and fortunately it didn't. I couldn't think about the ramifications about what we'd just done, though I could think about the rising ache in my abdomen, and my own desperate desire to complete my own climax.

Though I'd said nothing Draco seemed to sense my needs at that point because I felt his hand reach around me and take me so carefully in his palm, beginning to stroke me again, the pressure was delicious, his fingers so soft, the build up slow but intense. Again I let myself sink into the self-centered enjoyment of his touch.

He kissed the back of my neck and I heard myself moan just softly; and unexpectedly. The pressure he brought to me increased as he himself began to purr in my ear, and nip at me. It didn't take long for him to bring me to my own climax, the waves of release washing over me, making even my fingertips tremble. It was glorious.

"I wish we could just stay here forever."

"I don't know." I was feeling playful, "we'd likely starve." He looked at me with one eyebrow raised as I smirked at him. Then he shook his head.

"You are quite mad some times aren't you Harry?"

"Some times, I suppose, I think maybe I have the right to be, once in awhile. So do you." I wanted it to be lighthearted right then, the seriousness of what had happened teetered on the edge of my consciousness, and I didn't want to fall over the cliff, into something I had to analyze and cheapen. Not that I was unhappy, quite the opposite, I loved the feeling of calm that was wrapping my skin. I didn't want anything to destroy it just then.

"Promise me one thing Harry?" Draco seemed intent on keeping things serious.

"If I can." I meant it.

"Promise me this won't be the only time?"

That one was easy, or at least it seemed easy just then. "It won't be the only time Dragon. I promise you." At hearing that he seemed to calm visibly, and I felt a little bewildered that he had thought that I could do something like what we had just done as a 'one night stand' sort of thing. I didn't really think to be offended that he might have thought I could be like that; not at that point.

"We'll have Christmas holiday here, I wouldn't want to stick around Hogwarts when I have a perfectly good, and perfectly private house to retreat to. Besides, Melody is expecting us."

"But won't you have the Weasleys, and Hermione here for the holidays?"

"Well they'll be here for at least one night, maybe two. But then they'll likely want to be off on their own, or back at their own houses."

"You don't think they'll discover what's going on between us?"

"I can't see why. You'll have your own room, and I still have the invisibility cloak to get around with. Besides, you could probably apparate between rooms, and then just pop back to the guest one in the morning so everyone sees you coming out that door."

"You don't think your goofy smile will give it away?" He smirked at me, as I tried to understand his reference, eyebrows cocked in confusion. "From all the sex you idiot. If it's anything like the one you had on a few minutes ago we might as well confess now."

He was getting playful, and it was wonderful to see, so I kissed him, maybe a bit roughly, he didn't seem to mind and offered him the first crack at the shower. He got out of bed, and then offered me his hand.

"If I'm going to have to wait until Christmas to be with you again, then I'm going to take every moment I can."

I joined him in the shower, and we left for Hogsmeade a little later than we had originally planned.

"Oh good, you gentlemen are back." Professor Sinistra was in the front foyer as Draco and I returned to Hogwarts. I wondered if she had been waiting for us, but it was possible that she had innocently been on her way to the hall for dinner. "The Headmistress was hoping to speak with you this evening."

"Did you want us to go over to her office right now?" I asked, Draco was slipping back into his more reserved school persona again and I could see him withdrawing back into his robes.

"No, you should have dinner first, besides, she's probably already inside. I'll just let her know you'll see her after." She nodded at both of us; staring at us just a little longer than I thought was quite normal. I filed that one to think about later, instead reserving my brainpower to wonder about what Minerva wanted to talk to us about.

Ron and Hermione asked me about my outing, I had decided earlier that I was going to tell them the truth about what had happened at The Three Broomsticks. That evil part of my soul, that I wasn't convinced I had, wanted to tell my friends what kind of person Rosemerta really was. I figured that they might actually side with me, and fortunately I was right, they did. Hermione was righteously indignant on our behalf, Ron added in a few choice words about 'how dare she, with everything you've done,' it was what I needed to hear right then, I'll admit that. I think Hermione was prepared to start telling everyone about what had happened, but I did stop her, and in retrospect I was glad that my common sense kicked in about then. Mostly because of what happened later with Minerva, but also because I really didn't want anything to come back to haunt either Draco or myself, in case sides were drawn.

I did apologize for not picking them up any presents, but they were both very gracious about it. I felt bad for not bringing back something for them. But after all, we were much older by then, and perhaps candy treats weren't as important any longer. The school's first Hogsmeade trip was in only another two weeks, and I figured I'd make it up for them by then, picking up some really nice holiday presents for under the tree.

And, much as I hated to do it, I had to tell my friends that I'd have to catch up with them back in the dorms after dinner because I had to see Minerva. I confess to being a little concerned, but I assumed that whatever it was that she wanted to discuss had something to do with the trip. I was sure that Draco was going to remain pretty quiet about everything that had gone on, so I figured that whatever truth I told it would do. Minerva still trusted me; or at least I hoped she did.

The Headmistress' office was much the same as when it had belonged to Dumbledore; just minus a bit of the clutter. But the portraits were still there, the former Heads of the school, including my friend Albus, still watching the goings on. Minerva was tidier than he was, but the astute eye still picked out magical objects on the shelves masquerading as knick-knacks. Minerva had us sit at her tea table generally looking as maternal as ever.

"Gentlemen, I understand that something unusual went on during your trip today."

"Ma'am?" I wasn't prepared to play my hand just yet; and yes, wizards do know about poker in case you wondered about the reference.

"Rosemerta, from the Three Broomsticks came to see me this morning; well, came to see if you two had returned."

"Yes Ma'am?"

"She told me that there had been an incident at the pub?"

I wondered how Rosemerta had played it, were Draco and I to be penned as the bad guys, was she claiming I had done something to damage her establishment? Or completely the opposite, I left it to Minerva to enlighten me, and stayed silent, pleased that Draco was doing the same thing.

"She was very upset." A pause, "and she came here to apologize to both of you." I know I let out a long breath at hearing that.

"We left before things got out of hand Professor." Draco found his voice, but the weakness of it only leant credence to our plea of innocence.

"She told me. And I wanted to tell you both, in person; how I appreciate the way you handled it. Rosemerta told me everything; about how she and her patrons treated you both, and how terrible she felt about it, and how she did not speak up properly when she should have."

I wondered whether Rosemerta had come so quickly to Hogwarts because of true remorse, or the business realization that if she put out the Headmistress, that Hogsmeade stood to lose a great deal of revenue that the school brought into the little town. Hogwarts was, and still is, a huge consumer of products from Hogsmeade, and not just when the students have their excursions. The school bought produce, linens, school supplies, and day labour from that little town, and Rosemerta could not have been so foolish as to think that those same supplies could be shipped in from just about anywhere else for the same price. But, I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I wanted to believe that she had truly been ashamed of the way she had acted.

"Why didn't you boys come back here afterwards; I would have taken care of things for you?"

"I wasn't really thinking straight just then Professor. I just needed to get the both of us out of there."

"Where did you go?"

I looked at Draco, and smiled, close lipped and reassuring, I hoped.

"I took Draco to my house."

"In London?"

"Yes Professor, I hope you aren't upset. We just couldn't stay in town, where we weren't wanted."

She was silent for a moment, but I could see the thoughts running around behind her eyes. I hadn't intended to tell her we'd left the area, but I didn't want to lie to her either; I didn't really want to lie to anyone. I waited for her reaction.

"Normally I would have been upset at that Harry. But I suppose that under the circumstances, I can understand. I feel badly that your day away was ruined in that way. Around here Hogsmeade has always been a pleasant treat for staff and students alike. And now I am left with the decision of what to do, in light of what has happened."

"Please don't do anything Professor." I'll always remember the way Draco's voice sounded just then, defeated and tiny, and I wanted to take his hand in mine, to just try to offer him some kind of strength, and I should have, but I didn't.

"Draco?" Her voice was as concerned as mine should have been then, if I'd been able to say anything.

"Just let it be, please. It could only get worse if Hogwarts puts out some kind of sanctions. I don't want anyone to have any more reasons to hate me."

She sighed, and it sounded so resigned it made my heart ache. I wished there was something I could do, or say right then to make it better, but there was no spell I knew of, nothing but time.

"As you wish Draco."

"I'll just stay away from now on Professor, it isn't as if I need to shop or anything, and the food here at the castle is so much better than the Hogsmeade pubs." He tried to smile, but nothing about it looked genuine or happy.

"That isn't right either Draco." I tried to speak up for him.

"It's what's best Harry, you know it as well as I do."

"I'm sure there are lots of other shops in Hogsmeade who don't give a damn what your surname is."

"Harry." His voice was as soft as when he had spoken it to me, alone in the bedroom, with the candle flames, and I stopped arguing with him then.

"You don't have to make any decisions right now Draco, the next trip isn't for a fortnight, and who knows how we all might feel after a good night's sleep, and the clearer heads of the morning?"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Perhaps a little about life at Hogwarts as autumn set in seriously, and winter threatened its approach. Not that the castle ever really got cold, but the grounds certainly could look bleak when the leaves started to brown and fall from the trees, and you always wondered, when you looked up at overcast skies, if the dark clouds meant rain or snow.

Potions classes had their ups and downs; Genevieve was still distracting a number of the students, but her classes were practically interesting. I say practically, because she was teaching us generally useful, if not mundane, potion fabrication. Cleaning supplies, perfume bases, health elixirs, and commercial sorts of things. It opened up a whole new world of understanding for many people; that potions could be a business, just as Genevieve's was, and that they didn't all have to be as sinister as Snape used to make them out to be. Admittedly, most of the boys weren't terribly interested in the perfume class, but when they realized that the base could be used for so many other applications designed to draw people to you, or push them away they got a little more enthusiastic.

Hermione had a potion figured out for Ron, to keep his head clear of the Veela side effects pretty early on, though I don't know that she let on she was giving it to him; or maybe she did, she wasn't the type of person to dose someone without their knowing it. I can't say she wasn't the jealous-type, but I think she knew well enough that Genevieve LaSeigne wasn't returning any of the moony gazes given to her by most of the males around the school. Really, none of the girls had anything to worry about, though I'm sure there were a few disappointed men. In the end, Minerva knew it would be like that, which is probably why she had no reservations about hiring her in the first place. Genevieve just seemed to get on well enough with everyone around the school; well everyone but Alonso. Not to speak out of turn, but I think that she was used to having the men around her succumb to her charms, whether she did anything about it or not, but Daniel Alonso didn't. He seemed quite naturally immune to her, which was envious. I think that threw her off a bit.

As for Daniel Alonso's classes, they continued on in the same sort of 'half-full' vein as they had started, and by that I mean that he seemed to see the negative before the positive in most things, preferring to be ready to go to war should the need arise. He seemed to be of the mind that the best defense was a good offense, and so his classes dealt with detection of dark magic, and recognition in the face of ambiguity; and then, how to defeat it. It was rousing, and perhaps the most comprehensive DADA class I had seen in my seven years. As I look back, I know it gave me a solid foundation for my subsequent work with the Ministry. As I came to know him better it became perfectly understandable why he took the view that he did, and I tried very hard not to fault him for it.

As for Alonso's other position at the school, that of the girls Quidditch coach, well, that was an altogether different venture. There were initial rumblings about how unfair it was that one team of the now five, had a professional coach; yes, Ron's little discovery hadn't stayed secret for long. But Alonso refrained from teaching the girls anything beyond the basics of the game and the moves available in any Quidditch manual. The Harpies were given no fancy advantages by him; though they made up a few of their own, under Ginny's watch, but that was no different than any of us. And any practice that he oversaw could be observed by anyone else at the school. The compromises silenced the critics in fairly short order, and the modified season got underway. With a dozen or so matches to fit in, some weekends were scheduled to see two, and it only kept us all busier, and out of trouble; so again, I could see, on reflection, Minerva's logic. And while his involvement with Quidditch was purposely transparent, one thing that wasn't quite so open and honest also had a connection with Ginny, though I had to wonder if Alonso even noticed the way she was acting around him all of a sudden. It wasn't hard for me to see, or Ron, or Hermione, or Draco, and probably Neville as well, that she let her gaze rest on him just a little too long, and that she threw his name into conversations where it really didn't belong. She was becoming quite smitten with him; possibly to Dean's detriment, I didn't know, or really care. Perhaps he was just dark and mysterious and powerful enough to fill the void I'd left behind? But as I said, he either didn't notice at all, or was doing an incredible job pretending not to notice for the sake of his job, and position at the school. It had to be frustrating for Ginny.

Our Hogsmeade weekend was one of the few weekends we didn't have a Quidditch match scheduled, and I'm referring to the one that the whole school was attending, not Draco's and my first terrible attempt. He decided that he wasn't going, but he made me promise that I would. I argued with him for a few minutes, but as angry as I was at Rosemerta, I needed to have some time with Ron and Hermione, who I had been seriously neglecting as friends. Besides, I thought, I could get a Christmas present for Draco then, without him seeing it. So, while I gave The Three Broomsticks a wide berth, I did enjoy seeing Hogsmeade again properly. And the people there really did treat me well, despite my outburst of a few weeks back, so apparently Rosemerta hadn't passed on the nature of it to anyone, which did make me trust her sincerity a bit more. It was great to see George again at his shop, which had been doing a brisk business despite Filch's beginning of term admonishments against bringing the products back to the castle. Honeydukes was also full of students, loading up on sweets. It was nice to walk the streets again with Ron and Hermione, as we had, for all those years, in good times, and those not so good. And it was wonderful to laugh again, as I was beginning to feel as if I might not be able to with all the worries I had on my mind; from Draco to Alonso, to Genevieve, the baby and these prophecies that Professor Sinistra kept alluding to. For a few hours I let them all go; and I managed to pick up gifts for all my friends, and the Weasley's, and something to send to Bill and Fleur, and Charlie, in case they didn't make it to the house. I even got some baubles for Kreacher to unwrap, and made sure the ladies in the shop packaged them in the brightest paper they had, with miles of golden ribbons. I placed a few more orders for things to be delivered to the house for the holidays, just to make sure I had enough linens for the guests, and that my walls weren't completely bare. I figured I'd get a tree organized when I got to London. Kreacher would love decorating it with me. So with a mind full of Christmas, and arms full of parcels I headed back to Hogwarts feeling warm and comfortable in my own skin again. It would have been so nice if that feeling could have lasted longer than the day.

I had arranged to meet Draco after dinner, I'd pulled out the Marauder's map a day before going, and I'd chosen a place we could meet, safely, where I could assuage some of the guilt I was feeling at having had a day away in Hogsmeade while he had stayed behind. It wasn't that I felt like I was betraying him or his feelings by going; well, maybe it was a little about that, but I had made sure to stay away from Rosemerta's so I didn't feel wholly guilty. I just wanted the chance to have some time with him alone. We'd had our study sessions, and those previously described 'moments' in the darkened niches Draco knew of, but nothing like the hours back at my house, and after his expressed concerns about things ending after that one time, I wanted to make sure he knew that I was serious about making time with him.

I took the invisibility cloak, in case we were out late, stuffed it into my book bag and headed out; looking every bit like I was off to study, which was becoming a normal vision of me. But instead of going to the library or the Great Hall I went down to the North East corner of the castle, entered a passageway guarded by a rather tarnished suit of armor whose door looked more like rock than wood, followed its shortened entranceway for twelve steps, then stepped out into a small bedroom, long abandoned by all but those people fortunate enough to glimpse it on a magical map such as I possessed, or be given its precise location by someone who had. The key was the twelve steps, counted out, and that was the spell that made it open into the bedroom, and not just look like a long broom closet. There wasn't any furniture in it any longer, but it was private if not luxurious, and Draco was waiting for me inside, sitting on the floor by the fireplace.

I watched him stand as I materialized in the passageway, and he waited as I crossed the room, coming to stand in front of him, and offered him an embrace and then a lingering kiss.

He asked about Hogsmeade and I described it in the most benign terms I could think of, to make the day sound as normal and uninteresting as I could. He knew I was doing it on purpose that way, but he humored me, commenting that he obviously hadn't missed much, and that he much preferred going to London anyways. And we chatted about doing just that; from the sights of the city, Diagon Alley, and lastly 12 G. There was some laughter abut Melody, and what type of club she planned to drag us out to, as well as some curiosity and nervousness about what we might be expected to wear to said club. Eventually the talking gave way to shy caresses, and then those that were more intense, and finally to my hands pulling at his shirt so that I could slip my fingers below the waistband of his pants and touch his skin.

I felt incredible, it had been such a good day for me; reliving the happy memories of my first days at the castle, my immediate friendships with Ron and Hermione, the ease of life, earning about myself and the heritage I had never known, and then having Draco there, with me, bringing in a groundswell of new emotions that I was still sorting out. I let the emotions take over me, but they brought me to a place I had never imagined I would ever go.


	35. Chapter 35

Herein you may find some disturbing content about our poor Draco, but a revelation that will help to explain his character here a bit more, I hope. Please do let me know what you think.

As always,

Merick

Chapter Thirty-Five

I can't say I've never meant to hurt anyone because that wouldn't be true; there've been quite a few people I've wanted to hurt over the years, and quite a few times I've uttered unforgiveable curses with the full intent of having them work. I'm not perfect I can admit that. But what I can say, with absolute certainty is that I have never meant to hurt anyone I cared for. Which hasn't stopped it happening unfortunately.

My mind driven by emotion and desire and euphoria that night made me desperate to touch him and be close to him and I let myself go too far, even though I hadn't meant to. Standing behind him I didn't think I was being so physical as to cause him to fear me, so when I slid my hands down his back and heard him sigh just under his breath I believed I was okay; I wanted to believe that it gave him some measure of peace when I touched him there, because the scars didn't bother me and he would know it by my actions.

Fueled by my desire of him I brought my arms around to his front, pulling his body into mine, fingertips undoing the fastings of his trousers, hands slipping down his sides, kneading against the smooth skin there, guiding my hips towards his, and then I felt him tense. No, more than that, I felt him freeze, I felt the ropes of muscle just under the surface tighten and I felt him stop breathing. The laughter stopped, the easy passion stopped, and I stopped, frozen as he was, wondering what I had done wrong, and why I could feel him trembling against my chest.

I spun him in my arms, desperate to look into his eyes and see what they could tell me but he kept them cast down, even as I kissed his forehead, trying to comfort him from whatever transgression it was that I had wrought.

"Dragon?" I whispered it, wanting the word to break the spell. He could not answer me then.

"What have I done?"

"Nothing." His voice was small and weak and the trembling had not abated.

"I didn't want to do anything to hurt you," I began to plead with him, wanting to understand, "I just wanted to make you feel as I did, before, with you. I just wanted you to know that amazing feeling." My voice sounded terribly fragile and desperate, a wholly different desperation than that of just a few minutes past seeped into my body.

"It isn't you." Oh, I hate that line, have always hated it, have never seen any truth or good come of it because it's either a lie, or a submission.

I placed my hands on his face, brushed my fingers over his lips to quiet him before he could finish the sentence and kissed him gently, afraid to push too hard. I then let my hands wander down his chest and I felt him steal breath from me, and join in my kiss and I felt the comfort in his skin at my touch, the way he yielded to me because it felt good. I slid down to kneel before him, wanting to show him how much I - Okay I can't write that here, not yet, because I didn't know it then and I need to be faithful to the chronology as much as I can. That moment of realization came a little later. It didn't matter then anyways because the horrified, choked 'no' that came from his lips as he sank down beside me took it all away.

"No, not like this, never on your knees before me." The words came tumbling out of his mouth, hardly making any sense in the jumble and the tears. "Not like this, we are the same, not on your knees, we are equals. It can't be like this."

I could do nothing but hold him then, the both of us on the floor, him shivering in my arms, and kiss him softly on the head as I fought back my own tears, which threatened to overflow. It became so clear to me in that moment.

Narcissa Malfoy was not the only person in that house who had been raped by Voldemort.

There were sleepless nights after that, horrible, heartbreaking visions that came from an imagination I wanted desperately to blind. During the day I could focus my thoughts away from the images, throw myself into working or studying or practicing on my broom, but at night, as I drew the curtains around my bed all I could do was try to muffle the tears I cried for him; and make sure that by morning there was no trace of them.

You see I couldn't tell him I knew. I didn't have the words to ask him or the strength to open the wounds for him. I gave him the opportunity to talk, but he did not take it; I don't know that he had the words or the strength either. And I did not want him to suspect that I had figured it out, I did not want him to believe that this, his most terrible secret, was a secret no longer. I spoke to no one. There was no one to approach. Draco had been right when he had called Hogwarts a microcosm; how could I annonymize that secret? To even begin the conversation would betray him, and there were no father confessors to speak to who were detached and bound to silence, at least none that I had even encountered in the Wizarding world. I didn't even know whom I would speak to in the Muggle world. If I'd had any clue about who I could seek counsel from regarding abuse I wouldn't have spent so many years living in a closet under the stairs. But to say that the way a comported myself around him had remained the same would be a lie. I was frightened to even touch him, and for weeks I was only the best friend I could be to him, offering him a shoulder, and a hand, but never taking an unbidden kiss or embrace. He had to have known, but I think he convinced himself to appreciate my lies. It gave him time.

I made sleeping draughts, just as effective as Hermione's, in Potions class, and used them when I could not quiet my mind, and so that no one would notice that I was suffering. I know, it sounds awful to write about my trials with the information when it had been Draco who had to live with the reality of it, but I suffered for him, never the less.

Hermione found me, dragging myself down the stairs to the hallway in front of our tower. I'll note that I've jumped ahead in time a few weeks here and that we're into the month of November now; most of that silent time is a blur anyways, the days kind of all rolled together into a procession of sleeping, waking, studying, repeat.

"You missed breakfast." She informed me though I was quite aware of it.

"Kreacher brought me a coffee and a roll." She clucked at me a little bit, and though I normally would have dismissed it, by sleep-deprived brain was feeling like I should defend myself.

"He's not my slave Hermione, he's my friend, and he looks out for me; and you know full well that I intend to employ him properly once we get back to 12 G, and that I've already bought him his own furniture, and set up his own room at the house." At least my tone didn't end up being as sharp as my words, one blessing of insomnia.

"I know Harry, sorry, I'm just feeling a little anxious. Draco got a letter at breakfast and I'm worried."

A number of questions sprang to my mind. One; why was Hermione watching Draco at breakfast? Two, why was she worried about him getting a letter? And Three, why did she think she needed to tell me about it? She answered them all; bless her efficiency without me even having to ask them out loud.

"The owl that flew in to drop it off was the biggest thing I've ever seen Harry, nobody could ignore it, even the professors stared at it. And when it landed in front of Draco holding out a parchment to him in its massive claw he looked just mortified. The owl must have come from a great distance away to have needed to be so strong to just carry a letter." The assessment seemed reasonable, smaller owls could certainly fly between local points, larger ones between cities, but to fly from another country, the carrier would have to be large and formidable. And that meant that Draco's letter had likely come from another country, and likely from his mother I guessed. She continued.

"As soon as he looked at it he jammed it into his pocket and left. He didn't even take his book bag with him. She held it up, me being so oblivious I hadn't even noticed she was carrying two. That answered the second question. But why did she come to find me?

"I don't know what kind of relationship you and Draco have," she began, "and I don't need to know. But it's obvious that he is important to you, and I thought you'd want to know."

Damn smart girl my Hermione.

"Let's go to Potions class, maybe he'll be there?"

He wasn't.

Once Hermione and I were in the classroom and saw that Draco wasn't there it was too late to leave again and go searching. Genevieve noticed his absence as well and questioned both Pansy and I about Draco's whereabouts, but neither of us had an answer for her. She muttered something in French, which I didn't understand and taught the class anyways, looking decidedly less jovial and moving less fluidly than she normally did. She always did look like she was dancing when she moved. I couldn't get away from that room fast enough when class was over. I had about ten minutes till Astronomy started and I used it to race back to the dorms, Hermione in pursuit, to fetch the Marauder's Map and locate him. I jammed it in my bag and ran for the Astronomy tower. Without my even asking, Hermione continued to follow me and I felt grateful for that, somehow it made my self-imposed burden seem just a little lighter. I did, however, leave her behind a little as I took the tower steps, hoping that when I got to the classroom he would be there, but again he was not. Professor Sinistra noticed my agitation, but only mimicked the worry on my face when Hermione joined me in the classroom doorway.

"What's happened?" She whispered to both of us as she came over.

"Draco's gone." Hermione offered in her succinct manner.

"What do you mean gone?"

"I don't know that he's left the castle or anything ma'am, just that no one's seen him since breakfast."

"That damned letter." She hissed under her breath, and then looked at me.

"Can you find him?" She asked. I nodded. She turned back to the few assembled students in the room and announced that something had come up and that she was cancelling class for the day. She conjured a note for the door at the bottom of the stairs and handed in to one of the Ravenclaws to post for her, then closed the classroom door behind them.

"Do it."

I unrolled the map on Professor Sinistra's desk, not caring that I was confiding the secret of its existence with her. She didn't seem to care either. I cast the spell to bring it to life and focused in on finding Draco. Thankfully he hadn't wandered into some unplottable place and after a few minutes of peering over it Hermione spotted him, up in the Owlery. Damn, why did he always choose bloody towers?

It didn't take the three of us long to get there, especially as the hallways were lightly travelled due to second period being in session for most all of the students by then. It also didn't hurt that we were following a professor in our haste, though we did cause a few anxious glances as we passed. It could not have been a good sight, Hermione and I running anywhere. It was Professor Sinistra's wand that flung open the door, scattering owls every which way. I was focused on finding Draco, and had the wingardium leviosa spell on my lips in case he decided to do something foolish.

He was sitting on one of the benches that lined the room, magically kept clear of owl detritus for their keepers and students to use. He had a quill in one hand and a sheet of paper and inkpot in front of him and his face was wet with tears. He didn't even look startled to see us, even though Hermione was now there in our little group. He just looked lost and miserable.

"Draco." There was no way to stop the relief I suddenly felt at finding him, and it didn't even matter that we weren't alone when I rushed over to him pulling him into my chest.

"I have a sister now." He told us, in a monotone voice that sounded practically dead but for the sobs that punctuated it instead of breaths. "I've been trying to write something back to my mother," another sob, "but I don't know what to say."

"Oh Draco." I just held onto him, I knew the ladies were staring at the both of us, but I didn't care. He pushed the crumpled letter into my hand. It said virtually nothing and seemed so cold when I read it. Narcissa had only bothered to tell him the name of the child, Delphinia, and that she was healthy, while Narcissa herself was somewhat weakened by a difficult birth. She repeated that she was staying with family, and that Draco shouldn't try to find them because, and here was the only part that even began to sound like Narcissa cared for him at all, because she didn't want to bring him any further heartache and nightmares from having to look into the child's eyes. Just reading it made me shudder, and I hated Narcissa Malfoy even more because her words made it quite obvious that she knew exactly what had happened to her son at the hands of this child's father; knew and had done nothing to stop it.

"Give me the quill Draco." I held out my hand, he gave it over without a word. I began to write. Not exactly what was in my mind right then, but what was in my soul, and I was glad to have been able to differentiate those two shades just then or that evil side would have been well expressed.

'Thank you for sending me your letter Mother.' I began. 'Though you may not believe me, I am glad that you have written to tell me that you have been safely delivered of my sister. And I am glad that you have family to offer you comfort at this time. No matter the circumstances of her being please try to give her a chance, and give her compassion and love, for she is just an innocent child. One day I hope that we will meet again, and until then I remain, Draco, your son.'

I handed the paper back to him, he read it, clamped his teeth together and nodded at me. I took it back, bound it to the leg of the great owl and bid him return to his mistress whomever that might be. His great wingspan filled the arched window as he dove forward into a fall, and then caught the updraft to soar into the sky. I did not watch him disappear.

Draco looked at Hermione and Professor Sinistra with his reddened face, and beautiful pained eyes.

"Does she know?" He asked.

"No." Aurora Sinistra replied.

"Tell her please." Then he buried himself back into my shoulder and held me.

I know Hermione must have had so many questions after witnessing what she did, and hearing the truth of Delphinia Malfoy, or was she to be Riddle, or something else? I didn't know right then. Not withstanding those questions, she gave both of us the time we needed, and never asked anything of us unless we offered it first. And Draco had another ally in her.


	36. Chapter 36

Just a little taste as we get things set up for Christmas, enjoy

Chapter Thirty-Six

He told me everything that day, as we sat in the Owlery, everything he could bring himself to say out loud. We missed classes and meals, but no one came up to find or disturb us and so I let him take his time to exorcise his soul.

The beatings, the ones that had left the physical scars on his back, had happened over months, growing more frequent as Voldemort sensed the destruction of his carefully laid plans for resurrection. As we destroyed each Horcrux he became more angry and desperate; and while still self assured of his ultimate victory, our continued survival; and I mean mine, Hermione and Ron's, and the clandestine support afforded us stoked his rage; rage that he took out on the rightful denizens of Malfoy Manor. I felt sick knowing that our successes had caused Draco that pain, even though it wasn't really our fault I could not help but feel somehow complicit. Draco related to me that the beatings became so frequent that he was finally able to hold back his screams; whether that was from some dissociative state he could put himself in, or the resignation he felt, he did not know. But the silence only made Voldemort more savage, and ultimately led to a new form of abuse, designed to destroy the boy rather than grant him any measure of respite or peace.

I cannot repeat the words Draco told me, it is enough that he allowed me to write the truth here, but his descriptions were horrifying to me; of how Voldemort had forced himself on an unwilling body, of the pain and the blood and the humiliation, capped only when he would force Draco to his knees and take his gratification from the silenced boy, without even the excuse of the Imperious curse to give a modicum of diminished accountability. I could not believe that Draco had not broken with the weight of it all. But he survived, for his mother, for the need to be strong for her, she, who had run from him and abandoned him. I told him over and over how stalwart he was, and how much pride I had in him, when it should have been her telling him this. And I told him how thankful I was that he had held fast and survived to be there with me just then. And we cried, both of us, for hours.

Along with the Marauder's Map I had grabbed my invisibility cloak, in case I had needed to seek Draco out on my own, without the help of a professor. I threw it over both of us, and led him down from the Owlery when everyone else was supposed to be at dinner. We went straight to the kitchens, not simply out of hunger, but because I couldn't think of anywhere else to go where I would not have to leave him alone; at least somewhere that wasn't a tower, which let out the observatory. Besides, the kitchens were warm, and Kreacher secreted us away to a little table, something the other elves joking called the Chef's Table, in the corner of the kitchen. Both of our faces were cleaned up by magic, and we didn't look the part of friends or lovers who had spent the balance of the day reliving the horrors of the war in tears, we were simply students, sneaking away for a private dinner.

In moments we had plates piled with roast beef placed before us, and a jug of pumpkin juice, along with sides that would have fed six. Of course, having missed every meal it was well appreciated, and I for one ate till I felt ill. We stayed hidden away down there till nearly curfew, and until I felt certain, or as certain as I could be that Draco would be all right if I left him at his own dorm staircase. I debated using the cloak to sneak in with him, to spend the night watching over him, but I knew I couldn't do that, or I would risk exposing the both of us to more than just Hermione and Aurora. Kreacher solved the problem for me, offering to watch over him for me, and to alert me if anything was to happen. All of this beyond Draco's hearing, as I had gone to thank Kreacher for helping us.

With his typical low bow he professed his pleasure and honor at helping 'Master Harry Potter and his friends'. I would have to teach him to start calling me something else once we were home I thought to myself as I accepted his help yet again.

I left him at the entrance to his dorms, down in the Slytherin towers after a long embrace and a deep kiss.

"We are going to have such a wonderful time at Christmas Dragon." I whispered to him as he slipped out from underneath the cloak in the empty hallway. I wanted to give him something to think about besides everything that had happened that day. He smiled at me and I felt just a little better leaving him there. I knew I was going to be up most of the night, or sleeping as lightly as a cat waiting on Kreacher's approach but I didn't mind. One more sleepless night meant nothing if Draco would be okay, and a good coffee infusion in the morning would give me the energy to keep my eyes open when I needed.

Hermione was waiting for me as I got into the common room, just before curfew I might add. She dragged me off to the far corner by the fireplace, and the sparse company we had in the room gave us a wide berth to talk.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay." I know my voice sounded flat, but I had just simply run out of emotions for that day, should have been for many days, considering.

"How is Draco?"

"He'll be okay, eventually, I hope."

"Where is he?"

"I took him back to his dorm, bad enough we missed classes and dinner, and probably caused a big scene in the Astronomy tower, but the two of us being unaccounted for after curfew? It's enough, and a friend is watching over him."

"Do you think he'll do something stupid?" 'Something stupid' the universal euphemism for killing yourself, it crossed Muggle and Wizard realms.

"No. He's stronger than that."

"But with everything he's had to deal with Harry?"

"I know, how could anyone blame him for giving up right? I just don't think he will, I want to hope that he can still find something worth fighting for."

She pursed her lips and nodded.

"It'll probably be you." I couldn't help but laugh, just a little as I heard her answer. I wanted it to be me. She took my hand and squeezed it really tightly. "Look how many people you inspired during the war. Your name, you gave people hope."

"Only because they probably couldn't spell Hermione." She smacked me on the arm.

"Be serious. You being Draco's friend is the best thing for him right now. And maybe, to some small extent knowing that I am too will help." She paused for a moment. "You should try to make sure he isn't alone. I think you should invite him to 12G for the holidays with you."

Funny how much alike we actually thought. I wondered, not for the first time, why it was I'd never fallen for Hermione. She knew me better than anyone else on earth. Was it because I didn't feel up to her? Or was it because I was afraid of falling for her, or her for me, and then one of us dying? Was I just protecting myself from that loss? It was a quandary I spent many hours mulling over in my brain, over many years.

"Do you think that the Weasley's will be all right with that?" They had as much reason to be angry with Draco as anyone, or at least angry at his surname.

"I think they will, he's not the same boy we all complained about all those years."

"That's for certain. Do you think you could sort of tell them about it? I'm going to send off some letters soon to Charlie, Bill and George, but maybe you could check with Arthur and Molly first?"

"I'd be happy to."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I got a letter from Molly. It was longer, and more serious than any other letter she'd ever written. Not that there had been a lot over the seven years, mostly happy little notes for birthdays and Christmas; we saw enough of each other to speak face to face more often than not. It was the sort of thing a mother would write, knowing my limited experiences with that sort of thing.

'Dearest Harry,

Only a few months into the year and already you've had to deal with so many unhappy things. I had sincerely hoped that this final year at Hogwarts would be the carefree one that you deserved after everything that has happened to you. First off, let me say that it doesn't matter to me that you and Ginny have broken up; you will always be part of my family even though I harbored the secret hope that you would be my son in law as well. But the war changed so many things, and I am just happy that both of you are still well and whole and with me.

Hermione has also told me of the burdens that the Professors have placed on you; not just with being a curse breaker, and instructor, but also with the responsibility of looking after your classmate. Hermione has told me how much time you have been spending with Draco Malfoy of late, and I must be honest, that when I first heard of it I was concerned. I feared that the Professors were using you to spy on him and his family for the Ministry, and forcing you to become close to him for their own gains. I was quite prepared to come down to the school myself and give Minerva a piece of my mind about it.'

(As an aside, I could just picture Molly doing that, hair mostly pinned up where the wind from her journey hadn't pulled it askew, red cheeks puffed with fury and chest thrown forward. She was the mother hen to beat all, that woman, and I loved her for that. That was what made it so hard to read her letter at first, because I was so afraid of disappointing her, or having to choose between her family and Draco.)

'Fortunately', she continued in the letter, 'Hermione was able to allay some of my fears and stop me from making a fool of myself in front of the whole school. While I had some difficulty believing it, she explained that Draco had changed, and that he had begun trying to make amends for some of the things his family had done. She didn't go into terrible detail, bless her, but she was quite sincere. She did tell me that his mother had abandoned him; I hope that wasn't betraying a confidence, I've told no one but Arthur, I swear. That fact did make me feel a little sympathy for him, no one should be left without anyone, especially around the holidays.'

(And there it was, the paragraph I had been dreading.)

'Hermione has told me that you would like to have Draco around to yours for the holidays, and she told me how very concerned you were that we might not approve. While I cannot say that it will be easy seeing him there at first, my family will manage. Certainly if you and Hermione and Ron can put things behind you then the rest of us can make the effort as well. So Arthur and I and Ginny will see you, as planed on Christmas Eve Day. Charlie tells me that my new kitchen is quite lovely.'

(I had to smile when I read that, because she knew, as well as I did, that it was her kitchen, as least as far as the holidays were concerned at 12G.)

'We will see you sometime after lunch on the 24th then my dearest Harry. So put your mind at ease and make sure that the pantry is well stocked for me. We will have a proper family Christmas and finally put all the troubles behind us.

Love Molly'

I wanted to cry, but I was in the middle of the Great Hall when I got the letter so I didn't. It seemed like things might just go okay, and I made a mental note to fire off letters to George and his brothers later that week to finally officially invite them along as well.

Owls flew fast and furious over the Great Hall during the month of December. There were so many arrangements to make for all the students, and not just myself. It seemed that everyone was planning large family Christmases this year, not that I could blame the sentiment we all shared. It was time to get back to the things that were most important, family and friends, and finally celebrate. Everyone was sorting out who would be picking up whom and which seventh and eighth years were escorting younger students where. There was the train, there were carriages from Hogsmeade, and there was the Floo network, all to be coordinated with the Heads of Houses and Headmistress. Many families were taking trips abroad, which necessitated different departure times to catch up with the proper portkeys, and I did not envy anyone trying to sort out the logistical nightmare of comings and goings.

I had heard back from Charlie and George, who both told me that as long as their Mom was cooking, and that I'd laid in a good store of spirits that they'd be there even if I wanted to invite the whole Malfoy clan. Bill and Fleur sent their regrets, Fleur had really planned on going to visit her parents, and I certainly couldn't begrudge them that, especially hearing the happy news that they were expecting in the late Spring. I had the bedrooms all sorted out then, and Kreacher had shown up in my dorm asking about a shopping list because he was going to go over to the house a few days early to get things ready for us. We made one up together with everything I could think of that Molly would need and I gave him a pouch of coins to spend. Everything was coming together and I felt jubilant that I might just be able to pull off a proper family Christmas.

Course, nothing ever goes completely as planned does it?

The Yule Ball was something I wish I could have avoided. I suppose that had I still been going with Ginny that it might have been more enjoyable, because at least I could have danced with someone instead of hanging back at the table for most of the night making small talk. There was only one person I wanted to put my arms around and dance with, but if I had done it I can't even imagine the uproar that would have ensued. I did dance with one of the girls on my Quidditch team; I think she felt sorry for me. Ron and Hermione were busy with each other, and I couldn't fault them wanting that time. My presence in their lives had disrupted so much already. I caught a few glances of Ginny, and if I hadn't known better I would have guessed that someone had spiked one of her drinks. She was being more flirtatious than usual, and was wearing the dress to do it. Of course, Professor Alonso was in the room, so that explained some of her behavior; but I was on the verge of being embarrassed for her. Draco looked equally as ill at ease as I did; the few times I was able to see him, or even talk to him. He still seemed so uncomfortable in his own skin, especially in large groups and I understood. The secret he held was not something easily ignored, but also not something easily discussed. I had been a friend to him and I had listened to him talk, and I had held him, and stolen some moments of muted passion in the Astronomy tower, but always at his lead, as desperate as I was for him then.

School was dismissed on the last Friday before the holiday; Ron, Neville and I were charged with walking a number of the younger Gryffindor students to Hogsmeade, where their parents were meeting them. The Professors met and greeted parents who came directly to the school to pick up their children. Not everyone was comfortable being on school grounds then, some of the trees still bore the scars of the battle fought there, and the memories would be fresh until the greenery hid everything again. We gents got the task of travelling because we could all get back on broomstick, and therefore would not be gone after dark. Hermione had taken another group to the train, along with Genevieve and Alonso, which meant that Ginny was going along as well. Hermione still wasn't thrilled about broom travel, which drew her the short straw as far as I was concerned. Neville was learning: he'd never play Quidditch but he wasn't half bad, at least as far as a mostly straight line was concerned and we made it back to the castle in good time. As for our own travel, well the number of folks going to the Burrow merited the use of the Floo network, and in short order, after a few hugs Ron, Hermione, and Ginny (no hug there) headed down to the Headmistress' office. I had planned on using the late train into London, I could have apparated from Hogsmeade again, but Minerva wasn't quite keen on that since it was after dark, and as far as she knew I was going by myself. Of course I wasn't, Draco was accompanying me, but I think she just assumed that he was going back to Malfoy Manor; I don't think that Aurora had ever told her about Narcissa. Of course Aurora knew Draco was coming with me, we'd had to assure her of that before she would let him leave the grounds. Though I got the impression that telling her was simply a formality and that she'd already seen it in the stars somewhere.

So I packed up a small bag, I didn't need much really. I grabbed my broom and shrank it to fit in my bag, likewise a few textbooks and quills and the presents I'd already bought. I could get everything else in the city. I headed down to the station, eschewing the offered carriages. The night was cold, but the way well lit, and it gave me a few moments to think, and I wasn't the only one on the road anyways. Genevieve LaSeigne caught up to me rather quickly. She had a bag of her own over her shoulder, and was likewise dressed for travelling in warm robes and fur-lined boots.

"May I walk with you Mr. Potter?"

What could I say? "Of course Professor."

"Are you on your way to London then?"

"I am, I have a house there."

"You have a house? Surely you mean your family has a house there?"

"No, it's only me, my godfather left it to me."

"Will there be someone else there for you when you arrive?"

"My friend Kreacher has gone on ahead."

"The house elf?"

"Yes." I still wasn't certain how comfortable I felt giving her more details about my plans. Had it been Minerva I wouldn't have had an issue with it, and she hadn't even questioned me about being at 12G. But I had only known Genevieve for less than three months, and I hadn't formed a concrete opinion about her yet. "I have other friends coming to join me in a few days." I added and I hoped the vague answer would be enough for her that she would not challenge me on my plans.

"Well that is good."

"Are you traveling back to France for the break Professor?" I felt that turnabout was fair play in this case.

"No, I have some family in London I need to look up."

"Well I hope that goes well for you."

"And what of your friend Draco?" Now why would she ask about him, the question bothered me just a little and I didn't know how to answer.

"I expect we'll see him on the train, he'll be headed to London as well."

"Oh good, I hope I get the chance to wish him a good holiday. You and he are excellent students, well so many of you eighth years are. The professors before me must have taken great pride in teaching you all."

I thought back to Severus, and I don't think I could have used the word 'pride' to describe any of our lessons. As for Horace, well, pride meant an altogether different thing for him I think. I hoped his second retirement was going better than his first.

"Is Professor Alonso coming along to London with us as well?"

"I don't believe so, but I did not specifically ask him his plans. He doesn't talk very much, especially about himself."

"I have found over the years that most of the Professors here hold things close to their chests."

"Close to their chests?" Oops.

"Sorry Professor, a Muggle saying, it means they keep things to themselves."

"I had not realized that you were taking Muggle Studies Harry." I sighed just a little; I didn't think she'd noticed.

"I'm not, I lived it for eleven years."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that." So apparently my whole past hadn't been revealed to the new professors. That made me glad, to know that I still had some privacy in my life, well beyond the things I was trying to hide. "Perhaps I'll be able to ask you some questions in the future. I expect you know how to work a telephone then?"

"Yes Ma'am, I do."

She got very quiet after that, and for the rest of our walk in fact. Only later, as we were nearly at the London terminal, did she seek me out to ask me to describe how she could make a phone call. Perhaps it had taken her that long to work up the courage to ask. I explained as well as I could, and I gave her some coins, the type she'd need to place a local call from a payphone. She seemed almost overly grateful for the small gesture, wished me a good holiday, and was gone. Draco, who was with me by that time, looked at me oddly as she left, all I could do was shake my head. But I had a feeling I'd find out soon enough what her questions had been about.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The house windows were lit when we apparated onto the back porch again. We had left the station without anyone paying us much heed; those people waiting on the platform for the train were far more interested in finding their family members in the crowd, than they were sorting out who else might be there, and who was leaving with whom. A quick step through the enchanted wall and we were Muggles for all anyone knew, easily slipping into the London night, and then vanishing altogether.

The back garden was barren, I hadn't had the time to plant much or tend to foliage over the summer. There were some mature tress that offered shade from the summer sun, but now, in the midst of winter they were dark and skeletal looking with only the wan moonlight breaking through their branches. I wanted to say something auspicious to Draco about coming in, and finally having time alone together, properly, but nothing came to mind. The truth was; I was nervous and a little afraid about the holiday. Not to say there wasn't also a nervous excitement, but the thought of intimacy bore both sides of worry for me just then. I didn't know where things were going to go, I knew what I wanted, what I thought a wanted, selfish as it was, but I didn't know what Draco wanted, and I had avoided asking him that very question for fear that his answer would be one that would shatter the calm I was working on so diligently. I smiled at him, probably looking weaker than I should have and I opened the back door.

The house was warm and the kitchen smelled of dozens of different foods. For a moment I was afraid that Molly had come by early to get started, making my gut twist further with anxiety, but it was only Kreacher, whose little face greeted us, hands outstretched for our coats, and he had been busy.

"Master, and Master's friend, come in, come in out of the cold. Kreacher has been waiting for you." He bustled around us, gathering up our bags and outerwear, all the while talking on about everything he had prepared for our late dinner. We were hustled into the dinning room to another feast or warm soup and fresh bread, cheeses and fruits, and goblets of wine, offered with a knowing grin that while we were eighteen, and legal to drink, that a treat like that wouldn't have made it's way to Hogwarts. There was no time too talk about anything serious for it was obvious that Kreacher expected us to dig in, and so we did, conscious of his anxious smile, waiting for our approval of his labours; something that was given freely by us both because everything was, as usual, amazingly delicious.

When we were done he shooed us out of the room to tidy after us, even after we tried to help clean up. It seemed best not to argue with him at any rate, and the glass of wine had left me a little giddy; though not out of control or anything. I followed Draco into the front room where he stood by the lit fireplace, not looking at anything in particular in the flames. The Floo network was still disconnected, I planed on getting around to it eventually, once I took up permanent residence. It would make it easier to travel to the Ministry; but for the time being it was just one other thing I'd have to worry about. So I left it be.

I reached for Draco's hand, warm as it was from proximity to the grate. He let me take it.

"Do you want me to show you the guest room?"

"Okay."

Our bags were on the landing, Kreacher hadn't gotten around to taking them up, or he didn't know which bedrooms to put them in, either or. We grabbed them up and I led Draco to the second landing, which was where Regulus and Sirius' bedrooms were. I opened the door to my Godfather's room, the first time I'd done so in a great while, and took the few steps in, illuminating the sconces with my wand. Flames lit up the Quidditch posters that were still on the walls, and the Gryffindor Gold and Magenta souvenirs from Sirius' time at school. I hadn't even stopped to wonder if they would bother Draco, but that wasn't the only thing I had neglected to think about.

"This was my Godfather's room." My whisper sounded a little too reverent, even to my ears.

"Sirius." He answered, "Yeah, he was in Gryffindor wasn't he?" It was a rhetorical question. "What was he like, my second cousin?" That one wasn't rhetorical, and I felt like a complete idiot, of course, Sirius was Narcissa's cousin, and he and Draco were related.

"I never got to meet him."

Of course, he wouldn't have been part of Black Family get togethers; in fact, he was in Azkaban for the better part of both our lives. I had had known him better than Draco; and that wasn't saying much sadly.

"He was complicated." It was a pitiful answer at best. Draco just kind of smiled at me sadly.

"He was loyal, to his friends, all the way to the end. And I don't know if he ever got over his guilt at how my parents were betrayed to Voldemort."

"How was he when he escaped from Azkaban?"

"Driven, I guess. Determined to get revenge, maybe to assuage some of his responsibility."

"Did the Dementors change him?"

"I don't really think they did. They torture by sucking out a person's happiness and good memories, forcing them to live through the terrible ones." I knew that feeling all too well, the Dementors had crippled and nearly killed me too many times. "I don't think Sirius had much happiness for them to feed off of at all, having lost his best friends, having been accused of killing Peter and a number of Muggles. He didn't have anything to give them. He seemed quite complete when I first met him. But perhaps a little on the feral side, though that might just have been his nature."

Draco was silent, and I knew why; I wasn't completely dense, perhaps eighty-five percent or so back then. He wanted to know what to expect from his father when he was released. Even though the Dementors no longer worked at Azkaban prison, his father had been exposed to a great many of them, and even under Kingsley's watch, there was no telling what other creatures might now be employed to guard the prisoners, or even if there were any Dementors themselves now imprisoned there.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a while Draco?"

"No. I've had well enough time being alone."

"Do you want to come upstairs with me?"

"Yeah I do." A pause, "Should I bring my bag with me?"

It was all so blissfully innocent, the two of us dancing around things as simple as sharing a bed for the whole night. How easy it all really was back then, and how lucky we were that that was the worst of our stresses.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I didn't know what was going to happen, I didn't know what Draco wanted, or what he would let me do. I knew what my body was aching for, the same thing as every lonely fantasy back at Hogwarts had led me to. I wanted to make love to him, and it took every moral fiber of my being to keep from forcing myself on him, willing or not. It's not that I was evil, or that I wanted to hurt him, but it had been absolute torture watching him, touching him, wondering if I would ever have the chance to share the same intimacy he had given to me the last time we had been in London. The dichotomy in my head was killing me.

Kreacher had lit the everlasting candles in my room, just up the stairs from the twin guestrooms and so it was warm and bathed in amber light when I pushed the door opened. He had the linens turned down, and I could see a tower of fresh towels piled on the counter in the adjoining bathroom. There wasn't much in my bag in terms of clothing, so I simply set it down on the dresser. I didn't look to see where Draco had put his, I was too busy trying to breathe and keep calm.

When it put his hand on my shoulder I started, I hadn't even realized that he was that close to me. He pulled it back.

"What's wrong Harry?"

"Nothing."

"Pixie shit." The wizarding equivalent of 'bull-shit' apparently. "You've been distracted since we got on the train. Do you not want me here?"

"Of course I want you here Draco."

"Then what is going on?"

"I just want you Draco." I stared at him, trying to look right into his soul through those pale blue orbs. I felt small and inadequate, and petty right then.

"Aw Harry." I knew my lips were trembling, I was trying so hard, I didn't want him to comfort me. I wanted to be able to handle it myself. I didn't want to have to rely on someone else, not when the root of the issue was his pain. It wasn't right, but I didn't have the strength or the desire to pull away from him when he folded me into his arms. I took one long breath, to steady myself, then wrapped my arms around him and sought out his mouth to kiss him.

I left my shirt on the floor, my pants too, it 's not that I was generally a messy person, or that I knew that I now had Kreacher to look after such things for me, (Hermione would have hated to hear that), I just wanted it to be my home, my lifestyle, my mess. I'd get to it later, for once there weren't going to be any rules.

Draco's skin was warm and soft under mine as I ran my body over the length of his. Beneath him the quilts were crisp like new cotton is, and smooth, and just a little chilled, at least for a few minutes until our movements had brought heat to them all. I kissed everywhere I could lay my mouth to him, and I listened to him moan and sigh, and felt him arch for me. I was in control, in the best way.

I didn't want to say a word to him, I didn't want to offer to stop, I didn't want to take a chance that it all would end prematurely. So I took him in my hands, stroked him till he was as hard as I was and then I bent my head to him, taking him into my mouth, drawing on him, twirling my tongue around him till I knew that he had given himself up to me completely. His fingertips laced into my hair with no direction or fortitude, his cries said nothing but pleasure as I took him deeply, and forcefully. My hands rested on his hips; not with such pressure that he couldn't have broken away from me had he wanted to, but he didn't want to. I pulled my head back to watch his climax when I could tell by the tension under my fingers, that he was close. It was glorious to see him out of control, vulnerable, innocent, and mine.

It was he who rolled over for me, giving me the tacit permission to continue. The bottles of oil were in a bedside drawer, and I reached for one, pouring it out into my hands, warming it in my palm, and then dripping it, and painting it across his back, and finally down between his legs.

As I touched him I felt the tension ripple across his back, and not in the same way as he had responded to me before. The fear was still present, despite the willingness of his heart, and I knew I had to say something.

"Draco, it's not like before." I lay my body over his and wrapped my arms around his chest.

"I know." His voice was thin.

"It's absolutely different, it's something so much better." I chanced to brush myself against him, for despite his fear he had not pulled away from me. He trembled.

"I'm not him, it's not about power. It's about love." With a careful hand I pushed myself against him, and slid into his body slowly, slick with the oil that coated us both. We moaned together and I held him, staying still within him, waiting to see if he would run from me. But he didn't, he only pushed his hips back against me, forcing me deeper. I watched his back arch as he worked his body over me, and I couldn't help but join in the rhythm he was creating, and he gave over the movement to me. Holding his hips I worked myself back and forth into his body, loving the feel of him, hot and strong, wrapped around me, pulling me ever closer to my climax with every thrust.

I drew it out as long as could, not wanting to lose the feeling, until it came upon me, like a wave, more intense than any before. It felt like my heart had stopped between beats and I was caught between breaths as a sharp, encompassing warmth, which had been building in my core, flooded forward as I reached my peak and clutched at Draco with every ounce of strength that I could find conscious control over.

We lay quietly for a few minutes, as always, not speaking, just breathing together, his back pressed to my chest, the way we had rolled after I had pulled away from him, spent. I kissed the back of his neck softly, over the pale blond hair that had fallen over it. With a trembling hand, I stroked his side, down past his waist to rest on his hip, pulling him into me, even though I didn't have the energy to do anything but enjoy the feeling of the intimate closeness. His hand covered mine, squeezing it, I felt him relax into me finally. I felt a comfortable shudder run through his body, he'd yawned and it brought one to my lips as well.

"Are you okay Draco? Do you need anything?"

"Would it be alright if I had a shower Harry?"

"Of course. There are fresh towels in the bathroom and lots of hot water. Do you want me to get you a drink or anything?"

"I'd like it if you'd come with me."

Waking up beside him just felt right. His features were softened by the fatigue that had taken us both the night before, and there was no trace of fear or sorrow, or anything but peace as I watched him sleep. I tried not to move, so I wouldn't disturb him. Eventually though, he did wake up, a blissful smile on his face, it made me feel really good about everything that had happened the night before. And for the first time ever I think I felt then that we really were lovers.

We spent the day decorating the house, with the center point being a huge Christmas tree that Kreacher had organized somehow for us. He produced boxes of the most sparkling, glowing, gaudy decorations I'd ever seen, and they were perfect. Our terribly tacky, but absolutely ideal Christmas tree was mostly decorated by about two in the afternoon, and the smile on Kreacher's face said it all. He was beyond gleeful, he was practically floating, and then he decided that we needed far more tinsel and he sent the both of us out to find it.

We had the choice of heading to Diagon Alley or to the Muggle shops, and we chose the Muggle ones, out of a sense of adventure, and a real sense of being on vacation, and because we had to call Melody, and that would be the only place we'd be able to find a telephone.

Draco continued to be amazed by the Muggle world. Commerce was no different; pick out your product and then get in line to pay for it, and while the coins had different names, they still did the same thing. It was just hard to keep his mind on the task as he continued to stare around at everyone and everything unashamedly. It was like shopping with a five year old; but truth be told, it made me see the wonder of it all anew, and since my own experiences with Muggle Christmas had been rather dismal, I enjoyed it all with him.

If he had been enchanted by the shopping mall, he was thoroughly floored by the telephone. He held the bags while I dug out the right change, and the crumpled bit of paper with Melody's number on it. She answered on the third ring, and I am sure even Draco could hear her exuberant greeting, despite that fact that the receiver was pushed up against my ear and not his.

She insisted we meet her for drinks and dancing that night and gave me directions to the club, saying she'd meet us out front at nine. I don't know that I was even able to get a word in edgewise as she went on about how much fun this place was, and how we were going to love it. Draco didn't have much choice but agree to the plan, because she'd rung off before I could even ask him if he wanted to go. He shrugged his shoulders and sighed, and we both decided that if we were going clubbing, that we had better get something to wear.


	40. Chapter 40

I know it's just a tease, but there are some clues here to what happens next.

Cheers,

Merick

Chapter Forty

You could feel the music practically before you could hear it. I had recognized the address that Melody had given me, and so Draco and I had been able to apparate most of the way there, and only just walked over from a nearby alley. It was good that we were able to be that close, because we hadn't brought coats with ourselves, and it was getting colder out. I was hesitant about using too much magic in the vicinity of so many Muggles, the last thing I wanted was to bring the Ministry down on us for exposing ourselves. The line up was only about twenty people deep to get in, and we started making our way to the end of it when I heard a familiar voice from the front door.

"Oy! Harry!" Melody had no reservations about making a spectacle of herself apparently, and this did not surprise me. She was waving us over and so we went. She had an arm slung through one of the bouncer's and was smiling at him, so I guessed he must have been one of her many 'friends' around London. She referred to so many connections she had when we'd talked over the summer. I didn't know if that meant she was sleeping with him, or not, and I didn't ask, because it wasn't any of my business. Whatever the case, he seemed quite pleased to let us jump the cue because we were friends of Mel's. I didn't want to look back at the other people who were still waiting, just in case they were annoyed with us. But he did let in a few more of them as well, so I'm sure he knew what he was doing.

"Hello!" Melody practically bounced up and down around us, hugging us both and kissing our cheeks. "It's so good to see you both again. Come on in, I've got us a booth at the back."

Melody knew a lot of people it seemed, because she got greetings, and hugs and air kisses all the back to the table.

"Now you two stay here, I'll get us some drinks." For some reason I didn't think that Melody ever paid for drinks. I looked at Draco, wide eyed, advertising my uncertainty about what I had gotten us into. He didn't look as hesitant as I did, which made me feel better. Returning with the drinks, Melody dropped into the booth beside me, gave me another squeeze, and proceeded to go into how happy she was to see us all over again, and how were classes going, and were we excited for the holiday; all manner of interrogation. When she finally paused for a breath and a drink, I got the chance to ask after her and what her holiday plans were.

"My sister is in town, so I expect she'll want to get together, but I hate cooking, so I think we'll just go out and get a curry or something." Then she was up, dragging us up to the dance floor when the music changed.

She could dance, if you could call it dancing. Mostly she moved herself in time with the music, between Draco and I, brushing against us, taking and dropping our hands alternatively, and generally being suggestive and bubbly the whole time. I might have felt uncomfortable, but Draco seemed okay with it, and that put my mind at ease and I was able to enjoy moving with her.

After a few dances she needed another drink, so we went back to the table.

"Why don't you two have a dance while I get refills?" She said it to both of us, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I was horrified. She spotted it right off.

"Oh, give it up Harry, I know you guys are a couple, I could tell when you came into the shop together." Draco looked just as shocked as I. "Look around boys, you aren't the only couple here."

I don't know how I hadn't noticed it when we came in, and when we'd been on the dance floor. There were a number of same sex dance partners moving together, touching each other, and even kissing, quite openly.

"The place is friendly, that's why I come here." She told us both. "I wanted you guys to have a good time too." And then she winked and headed back to the bar.

I was at a loss, absolutely stunned that I could have been so naïve. And if Melody could tell, how many others could? I felt a cold sweat start and I just wanted to throw up, and then run and hide, or maybe the opposite. But not Draco, he had a very happy smile on his face, and he stood, offering me his hand.

"Come on then Harry, let's dance."

"Really?"

"On God yes." And he pulled me to the floor, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.

At some point it became my turn to get drinks, so I left Draco and Melody to dance, actually grateful for the break. After the first dance or two with Draco I had finally started to feel comfortable, and Mel had insisted that we all dance quite a bit. She was having a great time, it seemed, and was growing closer to both of us as the alcohol bred its easy familiarity.

When I returned from the bar, the familiarity had grown a little more than I had expected. Melody had her arms wrapped around Draco on the dance floor, and had her mouth pressed up against his as they swayed, his hands guiding her hips. For a moment I felt a little jealous I had to admit, but only for a moment, till she swung around and locked lips with me, forcing her tongue into my mouth, even as Draco continued to hold her, sandwiched between us. She knew how to kiss, and I couldn't blame Draco for enjoying a taste as well. The three of us practically tumbled back into the booth together, laughing. She shot back her drink of choice, rum and coke, and kissed me again.

"Wait." She was giggling. She kissed Draco. "Now you kiss Harry." She told him, "and it'll be like we all shared a kiss." Draco leaned past her and forced his lips onto mine, sliding his hand down the front of my pants as he did so. My arousal was plain, and I moaned as he touched me.

"One more dance." She told us both, "then we'll go back to my place."

We followed her back to the dance floor, where she moved around us, touching us, as we held hands. I could hardly believe how easy and how free it all felt just then. I reached for Draco, and kissed him, then felt her mouth on my cheek and her hand on my ass. I could hardly breathe, everything seemed to be spinning, and not in a bad way. I was alive, and I held Draco around the waist as he kissed Melody, and then returned his tongue to me.


	41. Chapter 41

Okay, I don't know where this one came from, maybe I was just in a 'playful' mood, who knows. It gets where I wanted to go, but might be a little graphic. I tried to keep it tasteful; maybe I'm just hormonal right now.

Enjoy.

Merick

Chapter Forty-One

I only began to feel a little nervous once we got back to Melody's apartment. She'd really made no secret of what she wanted from the both of us that night, and while surrounded by the atmosphere of the club it had seemed like a good idea, but now, with just the three of us, it seemed a little more daunting. The only person I'd ever been intimate with was Draco, and every one of those encounters had been deep and important to me, not just physical lust, although that had certainly been a motivating factor. Melody was beautiful, and I couldn't deny that her movements and her kisses had aroused me, and watching Draco with her had done the same, but one step further than that had me scared.

She left us in her living room, to 'freshen up', and it gave Draco and I a few minutes together. He was still caught up in the excitement of the whole evening, and it was perhaps the happiest and most animated I had ever seen him. I was so torn because all I wanted was for him to be happy, and while part of me wanted to leave, a part of me wanted to stay, for him, and for myself. Feeling that free was intoxicating. He began taking his shirt off, and coaxed me over to him, pulling at mine.

"Are all Muggle girls like this Harry?" He asked as he kissed at my ear, sucking on the lobe as he pulled at the sleeves of my shirt.

"Oh God no, I don't think so." But what was my experience with Muggle girls, any girls for that matter? Melody was the only one I'd really talked to, besides Hermione and Ginny, and I didn't think I could make any comparisons there. Ginny had been sexual, but not like Melody, and I had been in a different place then, not that I wanted to think about it.

By the time Melody reappeared Draco had me half undressed and was kissing me passionately. The view of the two of us only seemed to inspire her further.

I should probably add that she had changed out of her club clothes, and had returned to us in only her bra and panties, and they made her look even hotter. As Draco continued to kiss me she ran her hands around my front, and began to undo the buttons at my waist. I tried to protest, but it was half hearted because my ego was taking over, and having two people touch me, and kiss me, and undress me made me feel incredible. Perhaps I should have found some common sense right then, but I didn't. In fact, I figured, that if I was going to be standing there in my underwear, with my arousal plain to be seen, then Draco was going to have to be the same and I tugged at his pants as well. When they were down, and I could see his rod straining against them I let Melody take my hand and drag me to her bedroom, just as I took Draco's.

She collapsed onto the bed first, beckoning to us both with bedroom eyes and a flick of her tongue. Draco went to her first, forcing his mouth down on hers, pushing her backwards till he could crawl over her. Not to be outdone, I slipped my body in behind hers, so that she lay, back pressed to my chest as my lover hovered over her. I slid my hands around to her chest and began to knead at her breasts, to which she began to moan even as Draco's mouth covered hers. In no time she had slipped her arms from her bra, and cast it away, encouraging me to continue my attentions to her. Draco's hands soon covered mine and he reached past her to kiss me as roughly as he had kissed her. The feeling of his tongue forced into my mouth only increased the ferocity of my grasp on her, and she began to writhe against me, only furthering my passions.

"Please." She practically panted the word; "there's condoms in the drawer." She motioned to the bedside table.

"Harry?" Draco was looking at me, half unsure, half pleading. The look in his eyes practically oozed passion, and the wound taunt muscles across his chest and arms made me feel weak. My hands moved down to Melody's hips as I looked at Draco.

"Yes." He forced himself against my mouth again, having received the permission he sought, and as he slid off his underwear I slid off Mel's and began to touch her. Her body was hot, and she shuddered with every stroke I ran over her, grinding herself against me. When Draco took her she cried out, raising her arms up to lock over my neck so that I could feel every thrust he cast into her. Draco was beautiful and so was she. Watching the passions build on his face, touching his body as the muscles grew ever more tense; it was beyond erotic, it was desperate. With my hands on his hips I felt every stroke as he came and it made me want to join him. Mel understood. She slipped away from him, turning herself to face me, and roughly pulled off my underwear as well. The condom she slipped over me was handed to her by Draco, who proceeded to kiss me even as he let his own orgasm fade. Then she climbed on top of me, and began to gyrate and work herself over my body, taking me deeply and twisting so that I felt every sensation of her heat and desire. It took only moments for her to bring me to my climax, and then join me, finally collapsing on top of me, our bodies glistening with perspiration. Draco lay down beside me, and turning my head to him I shared kisses with he and Mel, over and over as I felt them both breathing heavily, matching my own gasps I might add. Spent, we fell into a silence of careful touching and mingled bodies where sleep finally found us.

A shrill ringing woke me, well, Melody and I, Draco slept right through it. A Muggle telephone, I recognized the sound. Melody rolled out of bed and wrapped herself in a robe before stumbling out of the bedroom. I'm not sure if she realized I was awake or not, because I didn't immediately follow her, but my clothes, or most of them were still in the living room, so I thought that I had better retrieve them, and Draco's, because eventually we were going to have to go home. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but she had started her conversation before she saw me, and I honestly thought that it wouldn't have anything to do with me, so I wasn't concerned.

"Hello?" I heard her talking.

"Oh, hi Jeanie. I'm well, thank you, how are you and Papa?"

"Yes I did get your letter about the new job, congratulations."

"No, I don't think anyone noticed the bird." – Now what the heck did that mean? –

"No, I have company right now. Maybe I could meet you for lunch somewhere? Are you in town?"

I stepped around the corner of the hallway, curious. She saw me from her spot, curled up on the couch and smiled at me. She was still beautiful, even with her rumpled hair. In fact she looked even more beautiful because she seemed so natural, her knees drawn up to her chest, one shoulder of her robe slipping down to expose her white skin, and the sparkle of her eyes.

I crossed in front of her to find my shirt, she reached out to brush her hand along my side.

"Came in on the train? I hope the ride was nice."

"I know you don't know London Jeanie. I'm surprised you figured out the pay telephone." That remark made me stop dead from pulling my shirt over my arm. I turned to look at Melody, wide eyed. She turned a little pale.

"Look Jeanie, I'll meet you in front of Nelson, anyone in London can get you there. Give me till one." And she hung up the phone, never taking her eyes off of mine.

"Morning Harry." She tried to sound casual, but her voice cracked.

"Melody? What's your last name?" I had a horrible, sinking, queasy feeling in my gut.

"Lessing? Why."

Oh Bloody Hell!


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty-Two

She just sort of stared at me as I pulled on my shirt awkwardly and started to gather up Draco's things. I felt sick, and angry, and used, and a bunch of other feelings I didn't even have names for. Draco's appearance in the living room only magnified my discomfort.

"What's going on here?" He came to my side noticing the look on my face and the haphazard way I'd bundled up his things.

I didn't even know where to begin.

"She isn't who she says she is."

"In my defense Harry I never said I wasn't a witch."

"She's a witch?" I could see the same panic run across Draco's face that I felt in my chest.

"She's a veela." I wanted to turn and sneer at her, "or at least a half veela."

"What?" Now Draco was looking at her.

"She's Professor LaSeigne's sister." I wanted to throw up.

"But it doesn't mean anything Harry. I thought we were friends. It's not like you told me you were a wizard or anything."

"I can't, you know that! Do you know how much trouble I'd get into just announcing that?"

"And that's why I left the wizarding world, too damn many rules, we have to hide everything, oblivate poor Muggles who stumble onto some magic, make up lies about why their loved ones die as collateral damage to our wars!"

Draco stepped in between us, looking a little lost, but trying to stop us shouting at each other.

"You tricked us into coming back here."

"I did not. You wanted to come."

"You're a Veela, we didn't have any choice."

"Of course you had a choice! You didn't fall into bed with me over the summer, or feel anything like that towards me then." It was true, but I just felt more entitled to be angry thinking that everything I had know of her, had done with her was beyond my choice, when, of course, it hadn't been.

"None of this makes any sense Melody." It was Draco. "Do you know who we are?"

"Of course I do, and I don't care."

"I'm a Death Eater." Just hearing those plaintive words come out of his mouth; I felt every tearful sob and every heaving breath that I had held him through for so many months. The few steps we had taken forward, moving past that seemed lost just then.

"No, you're not Draco." But the words weren't mine; they were Melody's, as much as they echoed my sentiments. "I can see that you are not a bad person, Harry can see that. You just need to believe it too."

"Why would you do this?"

"I just wanted to have some fun, I just thought you could use some fun. It was just sex, it made you feel good, it made you forget everything didn't it?"

"I thought we could trust you?" I felt so much guilt having dragged Draco into this relationship, trying to give him some kind of escape.

"You can trust me. I've not said anything about you to anyone all these months."

"But now you know something really damning. You could run right to the Prophet and betray us, and they'd likely give you a sack full of galleons to do it."

"I won't. You don't have to worry about that. I'll keep your secret. But it doesn't have to be a secret Harry, there's nothing wrong with you and Draco being together."

Draco had grown really quiet then, terrified, I suspected, of being exposed for something else, something as equally damning as being a Death Eater, if just in a different way. I wasn't going to let that happen. I drew my wand from the length of my shirtsleeve and pointed it at her. She gasped.

"Harry!" Draco's hand was on mine, pulling my aim down to the floor. "Don't hurt her."

"I will not let her hurt you Draco." I know I was shaking, I didn't want to harm Melody, not really, but I didn't know what else I could do to keep our secret.

"Are you embarrassed by Draco?" She asked me.

"Embarrassed?" I spit the word back at her, "I am not embarrassed by Draco, I love him!"

Now that was not the way I had pictured telling Draco the truth of my feelings. Not at all. Every one of us went silent and my words hung in the air, and I just wanted to die right then.

"So you see," I started to say, in a whisper, "I cannot take the chance. The Prophet will destroy him, and then he will have to run and I will lose him, and I can not bear that Melody."

"Oh Harry." Draco's grip on my wand hand tightened in contrast to the soft voice.

"I'll make an unbreakable vow with you both, never to speak of your relationship unless you release me to."

I looked at Draco, "can that be enough?"

"It was enough for Snape and my mother, to protect me. It will be enough here Harry, please let it go." I loved that he could be so forgiving when I could not, the anger still gripped my heart.

He dressed while Melody prepared everything. While she lived as a Muggle, she still had her wand hidden away in her house and she used it to move the furniture away from the center of the room to clear us enough space to stand facing each other, arms clasped together. Draco stood by our locked arms and took out his own wand, placing the tip over our hands.

"I vow to you Harry Potter that I will never communicate a word of your Relationship with Draco to another soul." She began the ritual by making the vow.

"You promise that everything you have witnessed between us will remain between us three?" Draco, as our Bonder asked the questions.

"I do." A tongue of fire encircled our hands.

"You promise that no matter the price or offer that you will remain silent about Harry and I?"

"I do." Another circle of fire warmed our skin.

"You promise that our secret shall go to the grave with you unless we together release you, upon pain of your death?"

"I do." The third circle of flame was the brightest, and with the three questions asked and answered the vow was made. I let her hand drop.

"I think we need to go Draco."

"Please don't be angry at me Harry, I just wanted to have some fun, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I am tired of people deceiving me Melody."

She let her head drop, and using her own wand spun it over herself to restore her normal appearance. The brown hair was replaced by the ethereal blond, her eyes took on the haunting blue sheen, and her whole countenance suddenly seemed enchanted.

"This is who I am Harry. I only wanted to be your friend, yours and Draco's. Please tell me you do not hate me."

"You don't mind if we apparate from here do you?" I didn't answer her question.

"No." She shook her head sadly.

I took Draco by the hand, holding onto it tightly and disapparated.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

"Are you embarrassed by me Harry?" Draco had been mostly silent since Kreacher had met us at the door, inquiring if we wanted some breakfast. I knew I needed more sleep to even begin to settle my stomach before I tried to eat anything. I'd gone upstairs, and Draco had followed me, right into the master bedroom, watching as I shucked off my clothes and left them in an untidy heap. All I wanted was a shower, and maybe to have someone oblivate me so I didn't have to think about what I'd done. And then Draco had asked his question and I'd stopped in my tracks.

Turning to him, I tried to answer. "No Draco, I'm not embarrassed by you."

"Then by us being lovers?"

"No Draco, none of that."

"Then why would you say what you did, and do what you did?"

"It's no one's business but ours what we feel for each other Draco, and I will not have our relationship sold to the Prophet, or become fodder for gossip. We have survived enough you and I, and we deserve to be left in peace." I felt my voice becoming shrill, and I almost tasted the fear and frustration behind the words. Selfishly I did not want to go through what I had been through before, when no one believed me about Voldemort except Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore. I didn't want to be the butt of jokes, or stares or accusations. I just wanted to live my life for me, finally. And I was scared for Draco. We had done so much to protect his secrets, his mother, his sister, and his own rape at the hands of a monster. I would not allow anyone to even begin digging into his life. It was hard enough to manage with people knowing him as a Death Eater, or the son of a Death Eater, but to then cast dispersions on him. I stopped myself. Why should it be seen as dispersion, being with me, with another man? Was I really as altruistic as I was making myself out to be?

Doubt was a horrible thing.

"What do you feel for me then Harry?"

I looked at him, ice blue eyes, hair threatening to hide them again, pale skin, ruby mouth, hands trembling, I so didn't want him to be afraid of me.

"I love you Draco. Those weren't just words before."

His eyes looked so liquid just then.

"I just want something in my life to be private, something just for me, and you, no curses or prophecies or anything else."

"Do we have to hide it forever?"

"No Draco, no, just let's get finished school, let's get out on our own."

He sighed, perhaps not completely happy just then with my ideas, perhaps just resigned to them. I really did think it was the best way to go.

"Draco? What do want me to do?"

"I don't know Harry." He forced a smile onto his face. "But try not to be too angry at Melody. She's not that different than us; just trying to find a place were she can be herself and not what anyone else expects her to be."

I didn't understand how he could be so forgiving, and I told him as much, but not in an unkind way, more with wonder. He explained it to me.

"I'm just tired Harry, tired of fighting, tired of hiding, tired of being angry, and tired of how it eats away at me. I want the same kind of peace you do, but I am beyond fighting for it any more. It doesn't mean I'm giving up Harry. I just don't want to be angry with anyone anymore. If I can forgive, maybe people can forgive me."

All I wanted to do just then was hug him but I felt frozen, still sick to my stomach, but now because of how small and petty and evil I suddenly felt. If someone had told me four months earlier that I would be standing in my bedroom feeling more evil than Draco Malfoy I would never have believed them. Of course that was four months ago, and now it was horribly true. All I could do was stand there; arms limp at my sides and whisper another apology.

"I did it for you Draco."

That brought him to me immediately, and where I could not do it, he wrapped his arms around me and nearly crushed me. I could not believe that he was comforting me when all I had wanted was for it to be the other way around. I started to cry, I was just so overwhelmed with everything.

I woke up a few hours later on my bed; all the emotions had come to a peak and robbed me of everything. I think Draco must have put me there and drawn the covers over me at some point. He wasn't in the room when I opened my eyes, but I didn't feel a sense of panic right then. I got up slowly, spread the quilt back carefully; it felt good to be careful, and got to my feet. Kreacher had left a pile of fluffy towels in the bathroom, and I turned on the shower, ready to wash away everything, and then wrap myself in one of the beautiful, thick white towels. The warm water felt great, so did the steam filled room, it seemed so contained and safe, and I took the opportunity to linger there.

When I did finally emerge, wrapped in the towel, feeling human again, I found Draco waiting, and a table with lunch, and a bottle of wine, clean clothes laid out and the bed made up. He was smiling, not looking at me with pity, or disgust, and it made me feel so much better about myself finally, better than I had felt since I had walked in on Melody's conversation. I still didn't know exactly how I was going to deal with her, or her sister for that matter, but I at least felt capable of doing it again, as myself.

We had a nice lunch, avoiding the subject of what had transpired the previous night, instead going over our lists of what might still need to be purchased for the holiday celebration. It was light and fun discussing our favorite foods, and our comfort foods, and how wicked we felt enjoying wine with lunch.

When the knock on the door came it was just past eight thirty in the morning. I had expected guests early, and had gotten up early, and Draco had joined me, which I thought was very courageous of him considering who it was likely to be. I put a smile on my face; not that I wasn't glad to have the Weasleys in my home, they'd been my only real family, but I was apprehensive just the same.

Molly was standing there, scarf bundled around her neck, trailing into the snow, a brown paper sac in her hands. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes glowing, and she practically squealed my name as she saw me. Arthur looked decidedly different. Loaded down with parcels and more brown sacs, his own usually well placed scarf and robes looked in a bit of disarray and his eyes seemed a little red rimmed. The yawn he could not hide because his hands were full told the story of how Molly had likely pulled him out of bed bright and early on his holiday to make him dress and collect parcels, and finally journey to London. I felt bad for him, though her enthusiasm definitely balanced the scales.

"Harry!" She tried to hug me around the bag in her arms, which was awkward, but she managed. "How are you my boy?" At least she didn't mention that I'd grown since I'd last seen her.

"Come in everyone. Arthur." I stuck out my hand to shake his, "so good to see you," amidst the bags.

"Good to see you as well Harry." His words were livelier than his appearance, but his grip was still strong.

"I expect you'll be wanting to see the kitchen then Molly?" She practically beamed at me, for her the kitchen was the heart of any home.

"I could show her Harry?" Draco had emerged from the dinning room, where we'd been enjoying our coffee and croissants. I hadn't quite expected him to come out just then, but I was glad he had.

"Hello Draco." Molly kept up her smile. She didn't rush to hug him, but I thought it might have been better that way. Arthur echoed her greeting in a tone just above flat. I had known it wasn't going to be easy, but I appreciated that everyone was trying.

"I can help you with all your things, for the kitchen if you like?" He half held out his own hand.

"Well that would be just fine, thank you Draco." And Molly handed him the bag she was carrying. He smiled nervously.

"Arthur, why don't I show you up to your room. You can check out the bedding and make sure everything is all right for you and Molly." It was my way of offering him the chance to lie back down for a while and have a nap, and he understood with a thankful nod of his head. He put down the remaining groceries and supplies Molly had packed, and took up their bags to the room. I closed the door behind me when I left. When we next saw him a few hours later, he seemed decidedly more chipper.

I went back to the kitchen to join Molly and Draco. She had him organizing some bake ware. I'd given Kreacher the day off, though he'd not been happy about it at the beginning. I promised him that Christmas Breakfast would be his entire domain to impress everyone with, and that he would always be in charge of nibbles and drinks. It seemed to appease him, and after he'd made coffee for us that morning he disappeared to his own room to look at some of the picture books I'd bought him. Perhaps he even had a nap?

"So where's Ginny?" I asked politely, I'd expected her to travel with her parents.

"Oh, she'll be along later, probably with Ron and Hermione. She said she had a bit more shopping to do, so we left them all in bed this morning. They'll be along after lunch I expect. Draco, be a good lad and pop this in the icebox will you?" She handed him a batter bowl filled with cream.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Oh, and you'd best just call me Molly from now on."

That comment made me very hopeful.


	44. Chapter 44

I must apologize for my neglect of this story over the last few weeks. As some of you may know I was driven to express my 'concerns' over the third season of True Blood by rewriting part of the script on this site. (If I Meet the True Death, if anyone is interested).

I have calmed down somewhat from that and humbly have returned to Harry and Draco. Sorry for the 'episode' with Melody, I will attribute that one to lack of sleep and a decent bottle of Merlot one night.

We now return to our regularly scheduled Harry/Draco saga.

I beg your forgiveness.

Merick

Chapter Forty-Four

Ron and Hermione arrived, as a pair only just after lunch, which left all of us wondering where Ginny had gotten herself too. I hadn't been keeping much track of her after the whole DADA issues had settled. I figured she'd slipped away to meet Dean or whomever she was dating just then. We all danced around her absence for the better part of the afternoon, enjoying the cheese and fruit platters that Kreacher kept appearing with, and the wine he kept pouring. It made it easier to be friendly and it made me smile to see Draco participating in the conversations, albeit reservedly. I loved how much Hermione kept engaging Draco, and Arthur also seemed to be putting in his two cents as they all talked about how Hogsmeade was rebuilding itself, and Hogwarts, and how the students were enjoying Quidditch again, and how lovely the Yule Ball had been, like the start of a new chapter for so many people.

Molly, of course, was busy in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. She had the better part of two meals on the go; Christmas Eve dinner of beef stew and dumplings, and Christmas dinner preparations for a massive goose, and pies already in the oven. My house smelled better than it ever had before. Charlie and George arrived about an hour before dinner, enough time to settle back with a drink themselves, and put their feet up in front of the fire. George was true to his word, good drink and good food, and he talked on endlessly to Draco about school and the joke shop, Quidditch teams, all manner of things, and quite happily.

It was only when we were nearly ready to sit down to dinner that Ginny's absence became a real concern. Arthur and Charlie were about to make plans to go and see about tracking her down, when there was a knock at the door. Everyone sort of relaxed believing that she had finally arrived, and easy smiles lit previously tense faces. I went to the door, to play the good host, plastered a smile on my face and opened it. I really wasn't prepared for what I found.

"Professor Alonso?" Ginny was right beside him, shopping bags in her hands. I was confused.

"Good evening Harry, happy holiday." He said to me, holding out his hand. I shook it. I wanted to play along with whatever it was that I had missed, but a few terrible things were running through my mind, especially looking at the smile plastered on Ginny's face.

"Do come in you both." I stood aside and let them enter. No one else had seen them yet. Ginny brushed past me, not in an unkindly manner, but anxious to see her family in the other room, their voices betraying their presence. I was left with Professor Alonso, in my foyer. He seemed to sense my confusion, and seemed quite ill at ease as well.

"Miss Weasley came back to the school today, insisting that you had sent her to come fetch me. She was quite concerned that I not be alone over the holiday and should come with her immediately. She was quite persuasive." His eyes were darting about nervously having been abandoned with me seemingly.

"She often is."

"I feel like quite the fool, Harry, please forgive me for intruding on your celebrations. I should probably go." By then Draco and Ron had come to see what was keeping me, and possibly to see the source of Ginny's grin.

"Professor?" Their voices betrayed their own shock.

"Please Professor, let me take your cloak." Kreacher suddenly appeared.

"Yes Professor, please do come in and join us. Ginny was absolutely right to invite you." I don't know that he believed me completely, but he handed over his cloak and came into the living room.

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce Professor Alonso. He's come to join our celebrations."

"Daniel, please." He was quite gracious and had his hand shook several times by Arthur, Charlie, and George, and even received a hug from Molly who had come out of the kitchen to see what the fuss was about.

"May Kreacher take Professor's bag up to his room?" Kreacher had reappeared with a glass of wine for Daniel and a little smile on his face, feeling useful again.

At that point it hit me that all the bedrooms were occupied, even the study had been converted for Ginny. But I tried to think quickly just then, and a simple solution presented itself, maybe from part of the soul searching of the day before.

"Take his things up to Sirius' room Kreacher, please." Draco looked over at me a little confused. That was supposed to be his room while we had company, just for propriety's sake. "Draco will bunk with me."

Draco looked a little ashen, but I felt sort of warm inside for having said it. Though I did think I should clarify things because Daniel was about to begin objecting. And Hermione was also looking a little concerned.

"It's a big room Professor. Lots of space to share, and it really is no bother at all."

"No Professor, it's fine, really it is." Draco played along, but I did see a little blush creep along his pale cheeks.

"Only if you are certain Harry, because I can easily pop back to Hogwarts, this is your house after all, and me the unexpected guest. Oh, and please call me Daniel, at least while we're here?"

"Nothing would make me happier Daniel, than to have you stay with us. Draco and I will make out just fine." My happiness wasn't really based on his arrival, fortuitous as it was, allowing Draco and I to have the whole night together without any deception. I just kind of felt good about acknowledging my real friendship with Draco out loud for everyone to hear.

"Kreacher will make up another bed for friend Draco, and put fresh linens for the Professor then Master." He turned back to Daniel. "Please do not hesitate to call on Kreacher should you need anything Professor friend of Harry Potter. The table will be ready for dinner in just a few more minutes." And off he went, with a wink to me, to see to his housekeeping and arranging. He was an absolute gem my Kreacher, and I made a mental note to give him a raise.

Ron followed me into the kitchen, where I was going to fetch a drink for Ginny.

"What's my sister up to Harry?" He half whispered.

"I have no idea Ron." I answered, we both looked at the door as Hermione joined us quickly.

"Did you invite the Professor Harry?"

"No, that was all Ginny I'm afraid."

"I have a bad feeling about this Harry."

Hermione's bad feelings were often right on the mark.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Five

I felt more relaxed at dinner than I had most of the day, Ginny not withstanding. Molly had maneuvered her into sitting beside her father and not beside Daniel, which most all of us could see had been her original intention. Ginny was not a master of subtlety. Not in the least. Molly's cooking was a wonderful, comfortable, hodge podge of dishes that you couldn't stop eating more of, even when you were full. And when dessert came out, even though I'd had four biscuits I couldn't say no to apple pie and cream. Kreacher even joined us for dessert, which put a great smile on Hermione's face. I was really happy that he felt so comfortable with all my friends there, and even Daniel didn't seem particularly perturbed by a house elf dinning at the same table, which moved him up another peg in my estimation.

Barely able to move, we managed to shift from the dining room into the living room where Kreacher began to serve drinks, even as he managed to tidy up the leftovers and plates. We made happy small talk in front of the fire, or at least most of the men did. Molly was still full of energy and insisted on bringing down piles of boxes from her room to go under the tree; which everyone commented on, being as it was so shinny and all. I felt a little guilty then and got myself out of my chair to fetch my own gift to add to the tree. In a matter of a half hour we could barely see the lower two rows of branches for all the carefully wrapped boxes, ribbons and bows. I don't know if I could have painted a more perfect picture for the first Christmas at my new home. And fortunately, I didn't have to commit it to memory, because George insisted on bringing out his camera and snapping dozens of photos of all of us, in various poses around the tree and the fireplace. I knew it wasn't going to be hard to decorate the walls of the house after that; not with so many memorable portraits to fill the voids.

Daniel and Charlie began a game of wizards chess off in one corner, which meant that Ginny drifted over that way as well, dragging Hermione with her so it wouldn't look nearly so desperate as it was. Ron sat down with Draco, George and I and we talked about school a bit, and about what we were going to be up to after it was over.

At some point Arthur and Molly vanished up to their bed, and Kreacher came to tell me that he was going to do the same, but that I should call for him if I should need anything. Feeling a little weary myself, after all the anxiety and the wine, I said my own goodnights and went upstairs, Draco not far behind me, leaving the brothers, and sister on their own with Daniel. Hermione stayed with Ron for a few more minutes, but I heard her on the stairs not long after. As wonderful as it was to have a houseful of company, and the happy noises that came with, it was good to shut the door of my room and just enjoy the quiet of the night.

"Are you sure this was a good idea Harry?" Draco was standing a little stiffly beside the second bed Kreacher had made up, ostensibly for him.

"One of the best I've ever had. Now come here Dragon. I've wanted to kiss you all night."

An unfamiliar noise woke me well after midnight. Having spent the whole summer in the house I was used to most every sound it made. Perhaps it was more of a feeling I had, as I think back on that Christmas Eve, that had woken me, just knowing that something was wrong.

"What is it Harry?" The sleepy voice of my lover asked.

"I'm not sure Draco. I'm just going to go make sure everything is okay."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm sure it's nothing stay in bed and keep it warm for me." I leaned over and kissed him.

"Take your wand, if you aren't back in ten minutes I'm coming to look for you."

"Okay."

Clad only in my pajama pants I pulled a shirt over my head before going out. I wasn't much like the main character of the poem 'A Visit from St. Nicolas', no cap, no shutter to throw open, no big man in a red suit to encounter, leastwise I hoped not. Just Harry Potter, bare feet, white tee shirt, baggy plaid pants, glasses and a wand clutched in my right hand creeping down the stairs.

There was a light on in the kitchen, and I though perhaps it was just Kreacher, up far too early, preparing for Christmas breakfast. It was the noise of someone going through the cupboards that let on that it wasn't him. I wondered if I shouldn't have grabbed up my invisibility cloak as well as my wand. But, it was my house after all, so I poked my head around the door to see who it was. I had truly not expected to see the person I saw.

Daniel Alonso had finally collapsed at my kitchen table, head in his hands, obviously not having found whatever it was he'd been seeking.

"Daniel?" It still felt a little odd to use his first name.

"Oh God Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He looked like hell, and that was hard to do when you were that gorgeous. There was a lost, long look on his face, and a sickness in his eyes that betrayed confusion and fear.

"What's happened?"

"I was just looking for a drink, to calm myself. I didn't mean to make so much noise."

He looked like he could certainly use one. Being as it was my house, I knew the liquor was in the pantry, and I fetched him a snifter full of Port and set it down in front of him before repeating my question.

"Thank you." He took a large gulp of it from two shaking hands.

"Daniel, what's happened?"

"I don't even know how I can say it Harry." He stuttered at me.

"I promise you Daniel, I won't repeat a word of it, if that's what you're scared of. You can trust me."

He looked up from his glass, into my face, and looked to be on the verge of tears so much so that I wanted to wrap my arms around him and comfort him; not that it would have been at all appropriate.

"I knew I should never have accepted Miss Weasley's invitation. I should have known you hadn't really sent her."

"It's all right Daniel, we're all really happy to have to here. No one should be alone at Christmas." I knew how miserable it felt, to be alone. The Dursley's never really included me at holidays; I was there because they couldn't avoid feeding me. But I certainly wasn't invited in to the party, or to meet the guests. "Ginny was right to invite you, it was my mistake not doing it myself. She knows how I feel about family and holidays."

"I am an idiot Harry. She didn't want me here out of sympathy. She wanted me here because she has a crush on me." I knew that, most of us had known that, but I sincerely couldn't believe she'd acted on it, in my house and I felt my anger rising.

"What did she do Daniel?"

"I could lose my job if anyone finds out. I could go to prison depending what she tells them." He began to tremble.

"What did she do?"

"I take potions to help me sleep Harry, most every night, to keep the dreams away." He didn't elaborate just then on what his dreams were, and I didn't ask. "I didn't hear my door open, and God help me, I didn't feel her crawl onto my bed." There was definite anger now, he was in Sirius' room, and Ginny knew how important he had been to me, not that it would have ever crossed her mind, the significance of the place she was defiling.

"I awoke when she kissed me, still groggy from the potion. She wasn't wearing any clothing Harry and she began to grind her hips against me, and she took my hands and put them on her breasts, willing me to touch her." I thought for a moment that I should have poured two drinks when I'd been in the pantry because my own nerves were starting to shake.

"Did you?" I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"No Harry, oh God no, I threw her off me, I didn't want to yell in your house, I didn't even know she'd woven a silencing spell over the room or I would have. She tried to kiss me again as I fumbled out of bed, and she kept reaching for me and trying to press her body into mine. She wouldn't stop. I finally had to take up my wand and stun her."

"Where is she now?"

"She's lying on the floor of my room. I put a blanket over her, I just don't know what to do Harry. When she wakes up she'll probably tell everyone I invited her there, or that I raped her." I didn't doubt that for an instant, Ginny was a firecracker when she felt wronged, and she didn't retaliate to get even, she did it to win.

"I've never led her on Harry, I've never done anything to encourage her." He was absolutely frantic. "And now I've actually hurt her. I don't know what to do."

"We'll think of something Daniel. I promise you that. I won't let her hurt anyone else." He looked at me strangely. "She was my girlfriend once, I know what she's capable of." That statement didn't comfort him in the least.

As we fell to silence we both heard footsteps, Draco knocked softly on the kitchen doorframe to announce his presence.

"Is everything all right Harry?" then he saw Daniel, without a word, he knew. "What's Ginny done?"

Daniel dropped his head to the table, hiding it in his arms. "Am I really the only idiot in this school?"

"Not by a long shot Professor."

"Tell him Harry." He said with a muffled voice.

"Ginny tried to force herself on Daniel."

"I didn't do anything, I couldn't do anything." He moaned into his arms.

"Where is she?" I loved the confidence of Draco's voice at that instant. It was like he already had a plan, which of course, he did.

"She's stunned, on the floor of Sirius' room."

"I'll take care of it, don't worry." He squeezed my shoulder, nodded at Daniel who had finally raised his head and disappeared.

"He won't hurt her will he?"

"No, he won't."

"What's he going to do?"

"Perhaps it's best if you don't know. Plausible deniability." I smiled. "She won't remember anything about what she tried to do tonight."

"Draco is that good?"

"Draco is better."

He finished the drink in his glass quickly, and I rose to pour him another one. He looked so grateful when I returned with it. He was still looking for answers.

"What could I have possibly done to make Ginny think that I wanted to have sex with her?"

"Breathing would be my first guess." I was being sarcastic, mostly. "Daniel you are very handsome, a Professor and a Quidditch star. Ginny isn't the only girl in school fantasizing about you." He sighed.

"I'm not a star at anything Harry."

"You're an excellent teacher."

"Plagued with nightmares."

"You certainly aren't the first, or did no one tell you about the motley crew we have employed at Hogwarts over the years?" He actually laughed a little about that one.

"No, I've heard a few stories in the staff room. Past and present, a ghost, and werewolf, a half giant, centaurs, death eaters, and those possessed by evil. A motley crew to be sure."

"A few nightmares are nothing."

"But they aren't nothing Harry."

"I'm sorry Daniel, of course they aren't nothing." Some help I was. I tried to change the subject. "When you were playing Quidditch you must have had girls falling all over you. How did you deal with it then?"

"That was easy, they were adults, you could almost reason with them, you could walk away."

"It must have been tempting."

"No. Things like that weren't for me. I wanted to play the game, play it well, earn respect. I loved that game."

"So why did you quit?" I was awfully bold in the middle of the night it seemed. He laughed kind of sadly.

"Quit? I didn't quit Harry."

"They fired you?"

"Something like that."

"But Ron said you were world class, a cup winner, that doesn't make any sense."

"So many thing in my life didn't back then. I guess the short answer is, I fell for someone." He got really quiet then, and his eyes looked far away, like he was remembering something happy, and yet exquisitely painful. I reached out a hand, to just touch his across the table and he focused on me, as if he was willing me to understand something unspoken. Perhaps just then I did.

"What was his name?"


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Six

"Rubens, but everyone called him Rubino. He was one of our trainers. I met him the day I joined the team, but he'd been there longer than me." Daniels eyes began to look all misty, and not just from the dim light of the kitchen. I could tell this was hard for him, remembering. My hand, still on top of his squeezed it gently to try to impart some confidence.

"I didn't really plan for anything to happen."

"I don't suppose you ever do, do you?" My answer had been a bit cryptic, as I thought about it later, but no less true.

"It was all so innocent. He would look after us after the matches and after training, and while you know that International rules allow for magical help to heal from serious injuries, the everyday sprains and strains are supposed to heal on their own, otherwise how could anyone look on us as athletes?" I nodded. I'd spent many a night ruing the pains of Quidditch practices, to say nothing of the time in Miss Pomfrey's infirmary. "I don't even remember which one of us made the first move. It was just his hands lingering on me a little longer than required for the application of potions, or the working out of sore muscles, shared confidences, and exploratory questions about 'who are you seeing?'."

"It was just one night, I held back, I don't know why, till everyone else was gone from the locker room except him and I. The screaming ladies outside had gone home, the press was gone, and it was just us. Small talk just seemed so painful then, and I just ended up asking him if he was attracted to me. When he said yes I just kissed him."

"We kept things a secret for the rest of the season. I'd never felt so happy Harry, even with all the subterfuge. But it all crashed down around us, when we got caught by one of the coaches. He lost it. Dragged me into his office, told me I was letting down the whole team, said that if it ever got out that I was a, well, I can't even say the word he spat at me, that the whole team would suffer. Told me I could quit or he'd fire me, but no way was he going to let that news leak out."

"So you made up the story about retiring?"

"Yeah, not my finest moment."

"Why?"

"I loved him Harry, Rubino, I should have been strong enough to just stand up and say it, but I didn't. I gave in."

"What choice did you have?"

He just shook his head. It was obvious he'd had that conversation with himself dozens of times over. I let it drop.

"We managed about a year after that, keeping each other happy, but keeping a low profile. I thought about moving away, but Rubens had family back home, and he didn't want to get uprooted. It was bad enough he'd walked away from his job when I'd left; I couldn't take everything away from him. He got more and more bitter, not that we wanted for money or anything, but my lack of courage, at least when it came to coming out began to eat at him. As so often happens, his anger found an outlet, one that he hid from me, or that I failed to see in my own selfishness. You see I enjoyed not being in the spotlight finally, I was content to stay home, and just be in love with him, and play house with him."

Everything he was saying made me feel eerie, like I could have been looking at my own future.

"It was about the time that the Dark Lord began to rise here in the UK. Groups were forming all over the wizarding world that embraced his philosophies, and my darling was recruited, and they turned his anger towards me and towards those who had pushed us away into something evil. He'd try to speak to me about it, but it was abhorrent to me, and try as I might to convince him that his views were misguided, those Death Eaters gave him what he needed: validation, power, and belonging."

"I can understand that." The voice was small, neither of us had even realized Draco had come back into the room, nor had we any idea of how much he had heard.

"Power is intoxicating." He continued as he sat down beside me, staring at Daniel. "Belonging is the same. Being part of a group that pretends to value you, and trust me, it is all a pretense because they will toss you aside when they have no further use for you, gives you a high that is hard to leave behind." He rolled up the sleeve of his robe to show off the dark mark. "I know."

"You walked away." Daniel's voice sounded so sad, just laced with regret.

"No I didn't. I was thrown away. And only then did I start to see the truth." I could see Draco's lower lip beginning to tremble, I knew the stories, I seen the tears. "What happened to him?"

"I killed him." Daniel's voice was flat and his words hung in the air for a good few seconds. I tried to suppress the punch of the shock that hit me in the gut, so I didn't make a snap judgment without hearing the rest of Daniel's story.

"I didn't know it was him. When he left me for them I got angry. My anger led me to the street militia in my neighborhood, and to trying to protect the Muggles and Wizards alike from the Death Eaters. We received word that a group was planning an attack at a football match; it's a Muggle sport." I waved my hand, I knew all about football, not that I'd ever been to a game or anything.

"We ambushed them, and they put up quite a fight. I was so charged with hatred for them, for their beliefs, for what they were trying to do, and for the fact that they had taken Rubino from me that I did not restrain my spells. When I saw one, wrapped in his dark, cowardly cloak trying to flee I cast a terrible spell at him, which took him to the ground. I felt good about what I'd done, I felt like a bloody hero, I felt power over them all, until I pulled back the cloak to see Rubino's face and everything in my world just fell apart."

I'd had a bad feeling that his story was going to go that way, and to give him credit he got it all out without his voice wavering. It was easy to see now where all his lessons about the evil in each of us came from.

"I'm so sorry Daniel." But the words did nothing.

"I couldn't let the anger go after that, I was numb to everything but rage, nothing mattered. I volunteered for every dangerous sortie that came around. I didn't care if I died and so I took chances. People started to call me a hero, and it just made me sick, but still I couldn't take ownership of what I'd done."

"But you survived." Draco added.

"Only because the war ended before I had a chance to get killed. Everyone praised my skills, my daring, and when the offer came from Hogwarts it seemed like providence, a chance to get away from everything that made me remember him. It was a chance to let the evil go, but I still wonder what would have happened if I had not succumbed to it."

"You cannot play games of 'what if' they will paralyze you. You cannot know what might or might not have happened because of your actions. If my parents hadn't died, if I had been sorted to Slytherin, if I had let the evil embrace me so I could use its power, what then? I've asked myself the same things over and over, losing sleep, losing time, losing strength. Letting that uncertainty go was the only way to live past the war. I see that now."

"But now, I don't know what is going to happen. Bad enough that I've assaulted a student, but if anyone finds out that I fell in love with another man, a Death Eater no less, I don't know what they'll say."

"Probably the same thing they'll say to me." I answered. "But then there'll be two of us, so it'll be easier."

"What? I don't understand Harry." He wrinkled his brow and looked at me oddly, perhaps understanding, perhaps questioning what he thought?

"I'm in love with Draco, and we've been together for a few months now." I smiled over at the man sitting at my left. "And I'm not scared anymore."

"Harry?" Draco looked at me with unexpected surprise, I suppose I probably should have asked him before I outed the both of us, but I sort of felt that it would be okay. "I thought we were going to keep things quiet still school was over?"

"Daniel needed to know that he's not alone, and I needed to prove something to myself. It isn't as though I'm going to broadcast it over the whole school, but if it gets out I won't deny it."

Daniel was smiling, and chuckling to himself just a little.

"I could learn so much from you Harry Potter."

"We can learn from each other Daniel."

"I have so many regrets. I didn't even go to Ruben's funeral, I couldn't say goodbye to him."

"Maybe you still can. There's a mirror, hidden away in Hogwarts, I'm sure we can find it."

"The Mirror of Erised?"

"You know it? Yes. It let me see my parents, maybe it'll let you see Rubens one more time, the way he was, so you can say goodbye to him. We'll find it as soon as we get back."

"If I get back, there's still Ginny to deal with."

"Not really, no" Draco piped up. "She'll wake up with a terrible headache, far too much wine last night, she won't remember a thing. I promise you."

"Why would you do this for me, both of you?"

"Because the war is over, and it is time to heal, for all of us." I smiled, squeezed his hand, and took Draco's. "And if anyone has a problem with the three of us, I'm sure we'll be able to take care of it."


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

The smell of bacon frying and fresh coffee woke me, even though my body tried to fight it. Kreacher must have been up just after Draco, Daniel and I finally dragged ourselves to bed to get everything prepared, because it was all fresh, even the bread. And it was delicious. Molly and Arthur looked rested, Charlie and George, not so much, but the levels in my decanters of liquor explained them. Now Ginny, she looked almost green, which I didn't quite understand. Her hangover had been brought about by magical suggestion, not alcohol. I looked over at Draco as she'd come down the stairs; he just winked as I questioned him with my eyes. Not that I'd ever distrusted his skills before, but if I needed any more proof as to how powerful he was, it sat down at the table beside Molly and groped for coffee.

Kreacher, as attentive to his guests as a mother hen immediately appeared with three glasses of his hangover cure, setting one down in front of each of the present Weasley children. Charlie didn't even question what it was and downed it in a long slurp. George sniffed it first and then did the same thing. Ginny was a bit more hesitant, but finally began to sip at it between sips of coffee. George was the first to feel it's effects and I watched the smile creep over his face as the color returned to his skin. He held up the glass.

"What is this?" His eyes were beaming towards me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Not a clue what Kreacher puts in it. But it works."

"Kreacher my friend. We need to talk." Kreacher beamed a big smile of his own, which I was becoming more used to seeing on his wizened little face.

Even Ginny looked better, and I just shook my head not wanting to know how that had occurred. I did notice though, that she kept her eyes down when Daniel came down the stairs. He looked happier than I think I'd ever seen him, like the proverbial 'weight' had been lifted from his shoulders finally, and while there was a sadness in his eyes I doubted would ever completely disappear, he wore a smile and greeted everyone around the table before taking a place between Arthur and Draco.

"Should we wait for Hermione and Ron?" Charlie asked.

"Hell no." Was George's answer. Feeling better he was tipping bacon onto his plate and searching for the French toast.

"Well all right then, I guess we'd better eat before George takes it all." I reached for the scrambled eggs.

Ron and Hermione did join us a few minutes later, looking decidedly comfortable and mostly rested, and everyone, including Kreacher tucked into breakfast until we were nearly uncomfortable in our skin. Then the party adjourned to the living room and the pile of presents under the Christmas tree, which I swore had multiplied overnight. Not that I believed in Santa or anything, but I did know about Molly, and her magical talents were on par with Draco's to be certain.

There were potions sets for Hermione, new Quidditch gloves for Ron, a dragon leather cloak for Charlie and crystal beer steins for George. I'd gotten a real Muggle radio for Arthur and he looked over the moon as I explained how to tune it in to various stations. I'd gotten Molly a pearl necklace; a luxury she'd never have gotten for herself, or asked her family for. Even Ginny got some jewelry from me. Not the engagement ring I'd imagined I'd be giving her that Christmas, before everything had gone wrong for us, but still some gold earrings, trying to prove that I was beyond any animosity. There was even a bottle of vintage port for Daniel, taken from my stock and wrapped carefully by Kreacher on my instructions.

Piles were growing in front of us all as boxes and bags were opened, and gifts were displayed and 'ooh'd' over. I loved it. It was the first real, unburdened Christmas I'd ever had. By that I mean that I wasn't being shoved aside at the Dursleys or trying to smile with the threat of death hanging over my head as the last few had been. Here we were warm, comfortable, fat with food and surrounded by sincere laughter. I took some time to just look at everyone, absolutely happy, even Draco.

Kreacher had insisted on tidying up the kitchen before handing it over to Molly, and when he was done he joined us as well. Amongst other things I'd gotten him a bag full of semi-precious stones, which he spent a few minutes organizing into little pouches, and when Hermione produced a package for him full of picture books he was in a little elfin heaven. He made a nest for himself out of the discarded wrapping paper and ribbons and settled in by the fire, officially off work till the next day. And I made a point of fetching drinks for everyone, including him for the rest of the day.

Molly intended to have the last word on gift giving, and no one was going to take it from her. She used her wand to distribute the last of the boxes, one for everyone, even Draco, Daniel and Kreacher. Kreacher's had a lovely tuque, scarf and mitts, just his size. In my house there was no harm in giving house elves clothing, I knew Kreacher wasn't leaving; I paid well, and I appreciated him. Molly knew that. Daniel's box had a long Hogwarts scarf, with all the house colors woven into it; when she'd made it I hadn't a clue, but it wouldn't have surprised me if it had been the previous night; she was a demon with her knitting needles, in a good way.

Her kids opened their boxes to find their traditional Gryffindor sweaters; including mine, it was a tradition that was going to go on as long as Molly could manage I figured, and we all loved them. Finally we were left with Draco, the unopened box on his lap, looking nervous, not that he had a reason to be I thought.

"Draco dear?" Molly looked concerned, I could see, because I was sitting closer to him than anyone else, that his hands were trembling. "Open it." She said with a motherly lilt to her voice.

He could only nod, likely afraid that if he said anything that his voice might crack. He carefully pulled back the paper and lifted the lid.

"Oh Mrs. Weasley." His voice did crack a little as he pulled forth a Weasley family sweater, his done in Green and Black.

"Molly it's beautiful." I tried to speak for Draco who seemed to be unable to just then.

"Do you like it Draco?" She asked, motherly tone again.

"It's the nicest thing anyone has ever given me." I don't think anyone in the room doubted the sincerity in his voice just then. "You didn't have to."

"Nonsense Draco, besides, it gave me a chance to finally work with colors other than gold and burgundy. I mean, I'm all for supporting Gryffindor and all, but after that many years you really do long for a change." George began to laugh at his mom.

"Honestly woman, the rest of us could have done with a nice blue or something." She shot him a friendly glare and stood to cross to Draco. She gave him a little hug around his shoulders and whispered something in his ear that I did not hear. He just nodded, pursing his lips together. She smiled at him and then announced that she was off to the kitchen and that we were not to bother her.

"I think I'll just take everything upstairs." Draco whispered, and gathered up his gifts without making eye contact with anyone. He disappeared.

"Wow, I've never seen anyone get so emotional over a jumper before, especially one of Mom's." Ron piped up after Draco's footsteps had faded. Hermione leaned over and swatted him; which was good because I was preparing to do the same thing.

"Just think about who he's had to spend all his Christmases with Ron."

I nodded agreement; Narcissa and Lucius were not the picture of warm family moments at all.

"Do you want me to go and make certain he's all right Harry?" Daniel had been watching Draco as closely as I had been.

"No, it's okay Daniel, I'll go. You all enjoy the fireplace and you know where the drinks are."

I left the room hearing George striking up a conversation with Kreacher about marketing his hangover cure in the shops. If I knew George, he'd have a deal struck before dinner, I'd just have to make sure that Kreacher got properly compensated for his efforts.

Draco was in the master bedroom, I hadn't quite started thinking about it as 'our room' then, and I knocked before pushing the door open. He was on the bed, holding the sweater, crying very quietly. I went to his side, putting my arms around his shoulders. He looked up at me, little reddened tracks of his tears visible on his cheeks; I couldn't help but kiss his face, trying to take away the sadness.

"I can't believe how nice everyone's being to me Harry."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not a nice person Harry."

"Of course you are Draco. You just got thrown into something evil beyond your control."

"But it's like Daniel said, at the beginning it was what I wanted, I liked the power and the fear, I liked being important."

"You were deceived Draco, used. You just wanted to be important to someone, and that was the only way to do it."

"It doesn't make what I did right."

"It makes it forgivable Dragon." He collapsed into my arms at that one, and I just held onto him for a while, letting him cry it out, and shedding a few tears of my own. When it had washed through him and he was calmer I retrieved a box I'd kept hidden in my room, a gift for him from me, something more private.

"What is this?" He asked.

"Just a little something from me for you, nothing big, just something that I think you'd like." He opened it up. Inside I had placed a leather bound book and a quill. "It's blank, the quill will write down whatever you say. Write your own story now Draco. Exorcise the demons, and create the Draco you were supposed to be."

"Oh Harry." His fingers traced the tooled work on the cover. It, unlike the quill, wasn't at all magical. And it seemed like a good pairing to me. The best of both worlds perhaps, no preconceived notions, nothing but a canvas to work on, maybe for us both to work on.

Another knock disturbed the quiet of the room. Draco wiped the tears from his eyes and took a deep breath, them smiled to tell me it was okay.

"Hello?" I asked. The door opened just a crack. It was Kreacher.

"Kreacher wanted to give something to Harry Potter, when he was alone, or just with friend Draco." He held out a tiny little box to me, trussed up in gobs of ribbon.

"Kreacher, you didn't need to get me anything."

"Special thing Harry Potter, did not buy, found."

I took the box and peeled off the ribbon, I tipped open the lid and found a chain, with a charm on it that looked like a gold coin, suspended in a ring shaped frame. As I held it up I could see that one side of the coin had the paw print of a dog on it, the other side the hoof print of a stag.

"Kreacher found it when he was cleaning up old Master Sirius' room for guests, under one of the floor boards. Think it was very important to him to be hidden away. It spins." I didn't quite understand what he meant, until, holding it out in front of me he carefully flicked at one edge of the coin, and indeed it did begin to rotate in the frame, faster and faster until the two prints blurred together into one. I stared at it, understanding what it had meant to Sirius, and to my father.

I never doubted for an instant how much my father had loved my mother, but his heart had been big enough to hold love for one more it seemed. Now it was my turn to cry quietly.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

As always, Molly outdid herself with Christmas dinner. All of us, even Kreacher were crowded around a dinning room table loaded with more food and dishes than those at Hogwarts had ever been. You could hardly see the person sitting across from you, and when dishes were being passed, you could hardly hear them either. I loved it, every happy, laughing, clinking moment of it. This was my family, Daniel, Kreacher, and especially Draco included along with the Weasley's. George kept filling everyone's glasses, and I expected that Kreacher would be up early working on his cure for all of us, and I didn't care, and it seemed that I wasn't in the minority.

We told stories, about school, and about growing up as wizards and witches. We heard George's stories about torturing Ron as a child, and we even heard some stories about Fred, which brought a rapid silence to the room, in reverence for his loss; but just as quickly George raised a glass to his twin and laughter ensued, as Fred would have wanted it.

Hermione and I talked about some Muggle Christmas traditions, to the delight of Arthur, and Kreacher even told us about some of the elf traditions, most of which usually occurred on Boxing Day, after they cleaned up the homes of their masters and mistresses. It was almost cute to see him speaking so freely, being just a little tipsy himself.

By the time puddings were served everyone was feeling rather blissful, and not in any shape to do much but eat and then plant themselves in the sitting room in one chair or another, and continue laughing and joking together. There was really no chance of wizard's chess or exploding snap, no one was quite coordinated enough. I admit that I'd indulged a bit more than I should have, but I just felt so good about everything, and it felt so good to laugh. When I did finally try to stand up to make my way to bed I wobbled just a bit and felt Draco quickly at my side, offering me his shoulder to steady me, with his own subdued laugh.

"Hang on to me Harry, I'll take you to bed."

"Promises, promises." I whispered to him, not really caring if anyone else heard. Molly had long gone to bed, and Arthur, Charlie and Daniel were across the room discussing the changes at Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione were cuddling in front of the fire and Ginny and George were making fun of them.

"Night all!" I called out happily and let Draco help me upstairs.

He locked the door behind us as we came through. The wobbliness had abated just a bit as I had gotten my head on straight after a few minutes upright. Really, I think it had more to do with fatigue than alcohol; after all Draco, Daniel and I had been up half the night in the kitchen talking, with barely a few hours sleep before breakfast and presents, but I didn't mind Draco's hands on me, in fact right then I really craved them.

My whole house just felt like it was full of love and happiness that day, and I told Draco as much as I spun myself around in his grasp, purposely throwing us both off balance so we would fall onto the bed. Once down I slung my leg over his body, and hovering over him brought my mouth down to taste his in a desperate kiss. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me down to him where he slipped his fingers under the waistband of my pants, searching for a way to drag them down off my hips. I began to work on his shirt, trying to yank it over his head while still lip locked with him, which didn't work out so well, but left both of us laughing like idiots.

"I want you so much Draco." I breathed into his ear as I finally freed his shirt and cast it away.

"I want you too Harry." And he pushed his fingers hard against the front of my pants, finding the growing center of my desire. I moaned out loud for him and then dragged off my pants, desperately wanting more of his touch. He complied, cupping me, and grinding his palm against me, which brought out more sounds of pleasure.

Somehow I managed to get him out of his pants, it seemed like a flurry of hands, his and mine, tugging at clothing until we were both naked, rolling around on the crisp duvet, kissing and pulling at each other with mouths and fingertips, an action that left us both gasping. I tipped out the contents of the potion bottle in my bedside table into my palms and began to drip it over Draco, pouring little streams that ran down his hips and between his legs, and then I pulled my body over his, grinding my hips against his slick skin, thoroughly coating us both in the warming liquid.

"I want to have you on your back Dragon, I want to watch you." He nodded at me and I pushed his legs apart, settling myself between them, and brushing myself against his opening. His body jerked at my touch and I saw him bite at his lower lip, holding another moan within as I played with him, stroking and darting at him, teasing us both with what was to come.

I watched his face, his beautiful pale skin and sharp blue eyes as he held his breath, waiting on me and the thrust of my body finally into his with a drawn out cry on my part as his heat enveloped me. Only then did he let his moan escape as he arched his back and closed his eyes, and I knew then I was free to work him, thrusting back and forth within him, at first slowly, and then with more passions as my lust and excitement built.

With a free hand I took his member into my grasp and began to stroke him, even as I continued to pleasure myself within his body and his expressions melded bliss into anticipation as I felt his body tremble under mine.

"Come for me Harry." He breathed out, pleading words born on the breaths he could take into his quivering chest.

"You first." I smirked, and focused my efforts on him, stroking him harder and faster till I knew I had him. His eyes closed, his muscles tensed, and I watched with absolute rapture as he exploded into my hand and over his belly with a beautiful, guttural cry of pleasure. Watching the orgasm rob him of his senses I began to work my hips against him with increased abandon, loving the sounds of his innocent cries even as I felt the wave taking over me. I roared as I felt the final spasm, and the jerk of his body around mine as I released myself to him. He hooked his legs around mine and pulled me close into his body, both of us sliding together with more laughter and more locked mouths, stealing air and taste from each other.

Having made a right mess of ourselves we adjourned love making to the bathroom for a hot shower. Well, perhaps adjourned isn't the right word. It was a long shower. Then with a quick flick of two wands the bed was set to rights, and ready for us to crawl in, now lazy from the warm water, and sated by the play. I knew there were a few things I wanted to say to Draco before we both drifted off, and a took his hand under the quilt, and squeezed it.

"This has been the best Christmas I've ever had Draco. I just wanted you to know how happy I am to have you here with me."

"Thanks Harry." His voice was quiet and shy with impending sleep. "Me too. I wish holidays would last forever." His eyes were flickering, and I knew he was fighting to keep them open.

"Good night Dragon." I leaned over and kissed him one last time, simply parting his lips and sharing a breath. I felt the blissful limpness and let him be, knowing he'd fallen asleep. "Happy Christmas lover."

Daniel was the first to leave on the 26th. He told everyone he needed to get back to the school, to put together lessons plans to make up for this first month's absence. Draco and I knew differently, we knew he was going back to search the nearly deserted castle for the Mirror of Erised, and we both offered to accompany him, but he made the valid point that the three of us poking around would arose suspicion, and what he really wanted was the time alone to say goodbye to Rubens, even if it was just to a fantasy in a mirror. He hugged both of us on the doorstep, out of sight of my other guests before he disapparated, and promised us that if we ever found ourselves in any kind of trouble, that we need only come to him, that he owed us far more than that. Then he praised our bravery, which made me blush a little, and Draco's magical skills, all of which was appreciated by us both. I had the feeling as we went back into the warmth of the house that once we were done with school Daniel would be a frequent visitor, and I was looking forward to it. I found it hard to believe that only a few days earlier I hadn't even really cared for the man, but shared confidences and tears could build many bridges I discovered.

Molly, Arthur and Ginny left next, wanting to have one night at home before they went out to see Bill and Fleur. Charlie and George hung around for another good meal before heading back to George's for a night at the local and whatever adventures lay in front of them, two bachelors on the prowl. Hermione and Ron had planned to stay another night or two before they left for a quick overnight to Paris to see the sites and have a romantic interlude to themselves. So after dinner, ports in hand, Ron challenged Draco to a game of chess and Hermione and I left them to it in the study while we went back out to the living room to relax.

I expected Hermione to pull a textbook out of thin air to start studying, but instead she came over to beside where I was sitting down on the couch, sans scrolls. I couldn't quite sort out what the look on her face meant, it wasn't anger, or amusement, or even frustration, maybe it had been confusion? Whatever it was, it had me a little uneasy.

"Hermione? What's wrong?"

"When were you going to tell me Harry?"

Damn.


	49. Chapter 49

I know I've let Harry sit for far too long, so I'm sorry if you have to go back and read a few chapters over to remember where we left our intrepid hero. I promise to channel him a bit more often in the weeks to come to finish up his story they way I'd always planned it. (And no more nights with snifters of port for me, bad things happen, like threesomes).

Enjoy

Merick

Chapter Forty-Nine

When I picked my jaw up off the floor, and managed to close eyes than had become as wide as a squirrel's caught in a car's headlamps all I could do was stammer, and try to quash the queasy feeling rising in my stomach. Hermione was my best mate, she knew everything about me, or had known everything about me up until the start of this past term when I'd backed away from her and Ron to try to give them the space to work on their own relationship. Well, okay, maybe it had started before that, when I had left The Burrow to go and work at 12 G for the summer. Had it really been that many months that I had walled myself off from my friends? Had I just taken for granted that our friendships would survive anything? Even me?

The sick feeling began to permeate through my body. I hadn't ever meant to deceive her, or really anyone for that matter. I'd always known I'd tell her, eventually. It just had never occurred to me that she'd figure it out on her own; though it right well should have. Hermione was the smartest person I knew, bar none, and she'd seen me with Draco on that horrible day he'd gotten the letter from his mother about his sister Delphinia. She and Professor Sinistra had seen him collapse into my arms, and they had seen me hold him there, and they had left us alone in the Owlery without asking a single question. But it seemed as if the time for that question had finally come. I'd never even asked her how much Professor Sinistra had told her. I guess I'd been avoiding it, like so many other things I'd avoided dealing with since coming back to school.

"When were you going to tell me Harry?" She repeated her question as I sat, drowning in my thoughts.

"I'm sorry Hermione." My voice wasn't strong at all, and neither was my spirit despite my easy admission to Daniel only a day earlier.

"What are you sorry about Harry?"

"Not confiding in you sooner Hermione, I know I promised I'd explain, and I should have. I just didn't know what the right words would be for you."

"You don't need the right words Harry, just the truth." She did have a way to get to the heart of things that girl.

"I'm in love with Draco." I couldn't even look her in the eye when I said it, and just stared down at the floor.

"Why would you be afraid to tell me Harry?"

"I didn't want you to hate me Hermione, you're my best mate."

"You thought I would hate you for being in love with a man?" She sounded so disappointed in me just then.

"No, not exactly. I didn't want you to hate me for being in love with someone who tormented us for so many years. I just didn't want to take the chance that I'd lose you I guess. I didn't want you to see me differently, I didn't want our friendship to change." I kind of surprised myself with the way the wisdom and the truth spilled out so easily.

"Harry." She put her hand out on my knee and gave me a little smile, lips pursed together. "You will never be anyone else to me but my friend; more than my friend. No matter who you love."

I'd had enough of tears and fought them back feeling their sting in my eyes.

"All that matters to me is that you are happy." She continued.

"I am."

"Good."

"Are you going to tell Ron?"

"Did you want me to?"

Okay, I was a coward, no problem admitting that right then. It was one thing telling Daniel, we were sharing a secret, another to tell Mel, she had been part of a secret life where I could have been anything, and even Hermione, she was more than my friend, as she had said. Though we'd never been intimate we'd been much more. Stuck in that horrible tent, fighting to survive, we were in each other's heads, each other's souls more deeply than any two people alive. But telling Ron, well, I just knew I couldn't do that. Not that I thought he'd be mad at me, well, I hoped he wouldn't be since I'd dated his sister and all, but I just didn't know if he could handle that kind of shake-up in his universe.

"Yes, can you tell him, when you're away, so it has some time to sink in before he sees me again?"

She laughed at me, which made me laugh a bit too, and at that point Ron and Draco joined us, now bored with the stalemates at chess, and looking for more company.

"I will Harry." She said to me cryptically, as light of heart as if nothing had happened between us, ignoring the odd look from Ron.

"Thanks Hermione." And I reached across the couch to give her a hug, holding her a bit longer than I probably needed to, but it felt so good to share my secret with her finally.

"Come on." Ron practically whined. "Let's go find something to do."

"Apparently Mr. Weasley doesn't feel like losing again." Draco said with a sarcastic smile.

"Hey! I can beat you any day." Ron was actually right, he was a demon at Wizard's chess, but the banter was so nice to hear. I wanted us all to be friends.

"Why don't we go see a Muggle movie?" Hermione suggested, an idea, which went over very well. So we bundled ourselves up in winter Muggle wear and headed out to the cinema for a show.

With Ron and I flanking Hermione, and Draco to my other side we watched a ridiculous 'road trip' movie, and in the dark of the theatre I was able to reach out for Draco's hand, and spend the almost two hours holding it, and stroking his palm, teasing us both. I even dared to let my hand delve into his lap once, just for a moment, which earned me a similar action of his hand sliding up my leg. Movies were certainly a great deal of fun.

Even the walk back home was amusing, Ron repeating all the best lines from the movie; Hermione shaking her head at him, and Draco and I just watching them both, with raised eyebrows. The trip was a little chilly, but upon arriving home we found that Kreacher had Spanish coffees waiting for everyone and we retired back to the living room to drink, and laugh some more, and just enjoy the fact that we had nothing else we needed to do but that.

"Ron and I are going to get an early start in the morning on our trip." Hermione announced as we were all finally slowing down for the night. I knew they first had to go to Diagon Alley to use the PortKey to Paris, and I didn't really blame them for wanting to have as many days as possible in that city. Not only because they'd be alone, but because they'd have a chance to just be tourists, not grail knights as we had been before, darting around the country on our Horcrux quest. Being able to see the sights of a great city such as that sounded so exciting.

"Don't you two worry about getting up early to see us off, we'll try to sneak out quietly so we don't wake you."

"Well I guess we'll see you back at school then next week?" I offered.

"Absolutely." She answered back, and stood to drag Ron off to bed. There was no real need for goodbyes, we'd be seeing them again in a few days, and so we didn't say any. Draco and I just watched them head upstairs, and listened to the door closing before finally letting our guards down, and pulling together for a brief kiss.

"What do you want to do tomorrow Draco?"

"I don't know, hadn't really thought about it." He smiled, "fool around with you I guess, sleep in, eat some rich food and drink some expensive alcohol. That sounds good."

I didn't disagree, it sounded really good, and smiling myself, I stood and offered him my hand, to take him to bed as well.

Funny how innocent plans can get all messed up isn't it?


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter Fifty

The owl arrived, tapping at the kitchen window about mid morning on the 29th. It was Kreacher who let it in, accepting the letter for me, and delivering it, before fetching a snack for the owl as it waited for my reply. The packet was not unfamiliar to me, it was hard to mistake the heavy vellum and scarlet wax seal as anything but Hogwarts stationary. A chill seemed to run up my arm as I took it from Kreacher's wizened little fingers and I just knew then that whatever was in it couldn't be good news. Draco's countenance had gone similarly pale as he watched me in silence, break the seal and unfold the note.

'Dear Harry and Draco,' it read, in a feminine script I recognized from my Astronomy assignments. Professor Sinistra.

'I am so sorry to have to be the person to write this letter, but it is imperative that you both return to Hogwarts with some haste. There has been news from Draco's extended family, which cannot be properly conveyed in a letter, and must be delivered to him in person. Hagrid will be waiting for you both with a carriage outside the Weasley shop. He will be dispatched as soon as we receive confirmation of your arrival.

Please believe that the Headmistress and I thought at length before deciding to summon you, as it was not our wish to disturb your well-earned holiday. For whatever it is worth, we all look forward to seeing you again shortly, and accommodations have been prepared for you both in the guest wing.'

She had signed it, but I didn't bother to read past the last line, I handed it over to Draco, feeling the dread rise in me as I did so. Kreacher appeared with a quill, ink and blank vellum for my reply.

"Are we going Draco?"

"I suppose we had better." His whole body seemed wooden as he clutched at the paper, but I gave him credit for not succumbing to panic.

I wrote a quick reply, handed it to Kreacher and followed Draco up the stairs to grab up my bag. I found him in the bedroom, stuffing things into his bag without much rhyme or reason, all except his new sweater, which I saw had been bundled quite carefully and tucked to one side of the duffle.

"I'm sure it's not so bad as Professor Sinistra makes it sound Draco." I put my arm around his shoulders, expecting to find him trembling, but he wasn't, he was stiff, as if frozen.

"Anything to do with my family is bad Harry." I couldn't really argue with him. "The sooner we go, the sooner we can sort this out."

"It'll be alright." I gave his hand a squeeze, "It's nothing we can't handle together Dragon."

He sighed, and it sounded so sad.

"Why do you suppose they have guest rooms made up for us Harry?"

That part of the letter had bothered me too, but I didn't have a guess as to why.

"They want us together for some reason Dragon, and I'm not going to complain about that."

Hagrid was waiting for us, and the carriage was warm, with thoughtfully provided blankets against the wind. He didn't speak very much on our trip up to the castle, but he wasn't unfriendly either. I don't know that he had much more of an idea as to what was going on than we did and I imagine that he assumed the worse, which, as I've said, wasn't a terrible stretch when it came to all things involving myself and Draco.

The headmistress, and Professors Sinistra and Alonso were waiting on the front steps for us, which did nothing to calm my fears. I told Hagrid thanks, and Draco and I joined the somber looking welcoming party who said nothing at our arrival, but ushered us indoors and out of the cold with sweeping gestures of arms wrapped in winter cloaks.

"Why don't we go to my office gentlemen?" Was the first thing anyone said, and of course it was Minerva who had made the offer. There were no other overt greetings, just a feeble smile from Aurora and a slightly more genuine one from Daniel, who placed a hand on both our shoulders as we walked, just ahead of him, down the quiet stone hallways. I had never thought I would miss the activities of the castle ghosts who used to swoop up and down the corridors, even Peaves who had been a general noisy pain. None of them had returned after the war, and I craved their noises right then, any noises besides the clicking of heels and swishing of robes.

Minerva's wand set teacups in front of us, and pulled up chairs for everyone around a ridiculously small parlor table, considering the broad shoulders of at least three of its guests.

"Professor Sinistra received an owl this morning from Romania."

I didn't say it, I didn't want to interrupt, but I had no idea who might possibly be writing from Romania. I was a bit of an idiot apparently.

"She had the presence of mind to bring it to my attention, and that was when we sent the missive this morning asking you two to return to the school." I presumed that Aurora had figured out that Draco and I were together, or perhaps Daniel had told her?

"When I found out you two were on your way, I asked if I could be present." Daniel said quietly, out of character for the presence he normally projected at the school. "I had hoped neither of you would mind if I offered my support."

Draco and I both nodded our ascent that he could remain; obviously the ladies hadn't filled him in on the letter's contents either. I had to admit to being surprised about all that, Hogwarts didn't keep many secrets, especially from the professors.

"The letter came from your Mother's people in Romania Draco." Aurora took up the story. Draco remained mute. "Narcissa has disappeared. She's been gone for several weeks now and they have been unable to find her." I let out the breath I had been holding.

"She left her child behind."

"Her name is Delphinia." Draco added, voice completely flat.

"They find themselves unable to care for her."

"Or unwilling." I muttered out loud. No one said a thing to admonish me. I knew they were all thinking the same thing.

"They intend to place her in an orphanage. They are not convinced your mother will ever return, though they made no mention of fearing for her safety. Delphinia is your half sister, they thought you should know."

Draco nodded stiffly, looking more mechanical than human right then, and I have to admit I felt much the same in those first few minutes, unsure of what to feel. Draco was facing the possibility that his mother was dead at worst, or at best, and I hesitate to actually use that word, that she had abandoned another child. Every miserable feeling that he had survived when she had run off on him had to be welling up in his soul again; and selfishly I worried about how hard it was going to be to bring him back out of the renewed depression.

"We all understand how difficult this news must be for you to hear Draco. Is there anything we can do for you?" Aurora leaned towards him, trying to look matronly, it didn't work out too well, but the effort was appreciated; at least by me.

"No." Draco was looking solidly at his teacup as he spoke, but his voice wavered.

"Perhaps we can have one of the elves fetch you and Harry a drink?" I was quite surprised to hear Minerva offer that, though I suppose we were of legal age, and school wasn't in session.

"I think perhaps the boys need some time to talk. If I might," Daniel stood, "I can show them to their rooms and perhaps we can all meet again in a few hours for dinner?"

"An excellent idea Professor Alonso. A few hours to think and digest this news is likely what we all need." Minerva seemed quite relieved to my eyes at being given a way out of dealing with the problem herself, I don't suppose I could blame her right then. As much as I knew that she held no ill will towards Draco, I could not assume the same estimation of Lucius and Narcissa, and while I am sure she didn't wish death on either of them, sadly I wasn't sure that she felt a great deal of sadness at the possibility.

Daniel led the way, even though we had a fairly good idea where we were headed. Hogwarts didn't often have guests anymore, but there was always the chance of a Ministry visit or a visiting Professor so a few rooms were maintained. They looked much like Snape's quarters had, except that they had windows to the outside being that they were above ground. They had prepared adjoining ones for us, but we both heaved our bags onto the same bed; I had no intention of playing any part that day, or that night. The last thing Draco needed was to be alone because of some ridiculous convention.

"Can I get you boys anything? I have some decent scotch in my quarters, I could fetch it?"

"I think that would be an excellent idea Daniel, if you don't mind." Draco was staring out the frosted window at the snow-covered grounds. Somewhere out there the smoke was likely billowing from the chimney of Hagrid's hut, and the wind was whipping flakes around the tress the bordered the forest. I went to stand beside him, and slipped an arm around his waist as Daniel left in pursuit of the alcohol.

"Are you going to be alright Dragon?"

"Aren't I always?"

"So far, but it'll never stop me asking." I laughed a little, he'd accused me once of asking after his health far too often, it was a good memory.

"Do you think she's dead Harry?"

"Honestly, no, I don't. And forgive me if it seems cruel, but your mother has a habit of running away from things."

"Not cruel, I was thinking the same thing lover."

The epithet made me smile.

"I feel strange being here all of a sudden Harry."

"I don't blame you."

"But doesn't it seem wrong somehow, or changed? I don't know how to describe it. Maybe it's me that's changed?"

"How so Draco?"

"I don't feel like a child anymore, or a student, something's missing."

"You've had a shock."

"It's more than that I think Harry. It's not really a bad feeling I don't think." He turned around to look at me, back to the window. His eyes did look oddly blue then, and they looked terribly deep, like there were a thousand things running around behind them, none of which I was party to just at that second. Before I examine him further Daniel returned with the scotch and three glasses. He shut the door behind himself and we gathered around the fireplace on conjured chairs to share a drink.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty-One

We sat in front of the fire and sipped at the whiskey, at first hardly knowing how to begin a conversation in light of all the news we'd been given. Daniel broke the ice as it were, by thanking us both for the information about the Mirror of Erised.

"Were you able to see Rubens again?" I asked, trying to be delicate.

"I was." He said with a deep sigh. "I have missed the person that he was for so very long. It was good to be able to say goodbye, even if he couldn't really hear me."

"I'm certain he was able to hear you Daniel." Draco said, "I believe that the ones that we have loved are never truly that far from us."

"Not so long as we keep them alive in our hearts, with our love." I added. Draco was being particularly philosophical that day, which was a bit out of character for him, but not in a bad way I decided.

"Love can do a great many things." He reached over to take my hand and held it tightly for a moment. "It can even bring back the damned."

"Draco, you were never damned."

He laughed just quietly and shook his head. "You have a good soul Harry, but for you I wouldn't be here at all."

Both Daniel and I understood exactly what he meant, and the thought sent a chill down my back. The memory of his tear stained face in the highest peaks of the castle gave me pause.

"We have all made our mistakes gentlemen." Daniel spoke thoughtfully, and raised his glass to us. "We can now only hope to atone for them by living our lives in a way that would absolve our spirits." We toasted to the promise, and sipped at our drinks for a little longer in silence until Draco broke it for good.

"I don't think I can come back to Hogwarts after the holidays Harry." He looked right into my eyes as he spoke. The statement wasn't a surprise for me to hear, though Daniel objected.

"Why not Draco, you should at least finish up your NEWT levels, you're so close to them now."

"I don't think it's what I'm supposed to do anymore Daniel." Draco's voice seemed so even and so peaceful as he spoke.

"You sound so sure, what aren't you telling me?"

"I have to save that little girl."

I nodded at him, a small smile on my face. I remained quiet though, and I let Draco explain to Daniel what I already knew was in his heart.

"She can't grow up in an orphanage, not knowing anything about herself except that she wasn't wanted. It'd be like history repeating itself. She's my sister, I can't let that happen, and I won't be responsible for her turning out like her father."

"Her father?" Clearly Daniel had not been given the entire story.

"Voldemort was her father."

Daniel's face went a little ashen.

"How much do you know about Tom Riddle, Daniel?" Draco asked, which did little to restore the older wizard's complexion.

"Very little, except that he grew into the Dark Lord. It is not something the other professors discuss very often."

"Perhaps Harry could give you the full details, of his childhood, since I believe he is the only one still alive who likely knows them."

I nodded. I had spent enough time with Dumbledore staring into the penseive, and with Hermione hunting for clues to put together a fairly complete history.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle was born to the witch Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr., a muggle, after she tricked him into marrying her with a love potion. Only Tom Sr. didn't hang around for the birth of his son. When Merope stopped giving him the potion, whatever her reasons were, he abandoned her, three months pregnant, and without a soul in the world to care for her. Lost and driven to the edge of madness with grief she wandered the streets of London until her due date, and ended up giving birth to him in an orphanage, living only long enough to name him after his father, and hers. He was raised there, knowing nothing of his family and why they had abandoned him. He grew angry and bitter towards everyone around him, and as his magical talents began to develop he used them to hurt others. Dumbledore brought him to Hogwarts, to try to give him a better life, and an education into the ways of his mother's people, but by then it was too late to save him. He was cruel and manipulative, and schooled himself in dark magic. He killed his father, and his grandparents, and I can't even count how many other people beyond those he needed to create his Horcruxes." I stopped. My own memories of tracking those cursed objects were still too fresh, and to avoid beginning to tremble at them I took another long drink. This allowed Draco to step back in.

"I cannot let my sister travel the same path Daniel. Her life may have begun in a similar fashion; not with love, but with deception and rape and abandonment, but I must believe that she can grow beyond that curse."

"But what do you mean to do Draco?"

"I'll raise her myself. I'm old enough, money is not an issue, I have a house to take her to. I will hire servants to help me with her."

"You will bring her to a home Draco, not just a house." I reached out to take his hand again. "We will raise her together, we will be a family. And she will know love and acceptance. You will both come home with me. We'll fashion a nursery, and Kreacher will be beside himself with excitement."

I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes as I spoke, but I had known since the moment that Aurora had finished the letter's story that it was what was supposed to happen. Draco had known it too. It was the only thing to be done, and likely it was the reason we'd been summoned back to the castle in the first place. Though they would likely never admit it, Minerva and Aurora could not have missed the parallels I had just explained to Daniel. It was the outcome they were hoping for, to stave off a repeat of the nightmare. All that remained was to go and tell them.

And so we did.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter Fifty-Two

The night we brought her home was one I will remember forever. It had taken almost a day to arrange for her to come to us. Firstly an owl back to the relatives via Minerva, and then arrangements for a portkey just outside the gates of Hogwarts, and a second hurried owl to Kreacher, giving him next to no warning to try to prepare a nursery, or at least something temporary for Delphinia to sleep in.

Draco and I spent the night in the guest room, there really was very little point in trying to keep up the pretense that Draco and I weren't really a couple. It wasn't as if I grabbed his hands and kissed him in front of everyone or anything, but I wasn't going to pretend to be sleeping in two separate beds just to satisfy anyone's sensibilities. Besides, we needed to talk about what we were going to do in raising that little girl.

Not surprisingly we didn't sleep very much. Draco was anxious and nervous, and fidgety, though never once did he express any regret over his decision, and I didn't ask him those questions either. We did talk about how things were going to go with me though; because I still wanted to finish school and go on to work at the Ministry, and Draco was quite insistent that I do that. But I didn't want to just leave him alone to raise the baby for the first six months of her time with us. The compromise we came up with involved some lobbying on our part by Daniel and Aurora, who both suggested to Minerva that I could attend the school during the day, but return home after classes were done, effectively moving out of the dorms for good. I knew I'd be able to still get my assignments done at home, and what I couldn't do there, I'd stay late at the school and do as was required. In the hours between breakfast and the arrival of the party from Romania I packed up my trunk for good, as did Draco and I took the time to write a note to Ron and Hermione, and one to Molly. They were hard letters to write, because it meant finally admitting that I'd been keeping something from them for months; well I know I'd already told Hermione the truth of my relationship with Draco, but Ron hadn't heard it from me, and while I didn't think he'd hate me, I knew he'd be out of sorts for awhile about it all.

I went up to the Owlery to post them using the school owls, and after they'd left on their journeys I stayed up there to watch over the battlements and take in the view of the castle grounds where I'd spent the last seven or so years of my life. I began to feel like Draco must have been feeling the evening before; like I was closing a chapter of my life, a chapter that had been my whole life up to then.

"Never do anything half assed eh Potter?" I said to no one in particular. The remaining owls hooted at me, likely wondering exactly what that command was supposed to mean.

"The boy who lived. Doomed from the very start to fight the Dark Lord to the death. Cursed as a horcrux, an orphan, abused as a child, never knowing the truth till some scary looking half giant showed up to take me away to Hogwarts." I paused, looking up at the grey sky. "Guess I'm not so different than Voldemort was in some was eh?"

"You are very different than him Harry." I hadn't realized Draco had followed me.

"A lot of orphans around eh aren't there Draco? You, me, Delphinia, Tom, you'd think it was some quite of magical pre-requisite wouldn't you?"

"There's one thing that makes all of us different than Tom though. Our lives have all been touched with love. Your parents, you and I, and everything we'll give to Delphinia. It's the one thing that has kept, and will keep us all from turning to the allure of dark magics."

"Are you going to miss Hogwarts Draco?"

"No, I don't honestly think that I will. With the exception of you over these last four months, I don't have any good memories of this place." He came over to stand beside me, and slipped his arm around my waist. "You'll miss it though, won't you?"

"I know I'm not even gone yet, I've still got months of school to go. But it just doesn't feel like it'll be the same." I turned to him. "I want to be with you, and the baby, don't question that. It just feels like I'm going to be leaving something really important behind myself."

"I understand Harry. It's a big change for you." He paused, "Hogwarts has been a safety net, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it has. Since that first year here it's been the light at the end of the tunnel, my real life, to get me through the time with the Dursleys, the time on the run, the times in hiding. I've always believed that Hogwarts would be there, intact, at the end of every battle, to come home too." Speaking of being philosophical, I thought to myself. "But that isn't really what this place is, is it?"

"Nope." Draco shook his head with a little grin. "It's a waypoint on the journey."

"It's time to make our own home now. Make our own family. Make a real life." I felt his grip around me tighten. I leaned over, meaning to kiss his cheek, but met his lips instead as he turned his face to mine.

"You're not done with Hogwarts yet Harry. So don't grieve."

"I know. It just feels like something big and new is about to happen."

"Because it is. We're going to be parents lover." He began to laugh. "Sleepless nights, diapers, baby toys all over the floors. It's an adventure like you've never had before."

"We are quite insane aren't we Draco."

"Yes, but in a good way. Come on, everyone is due in a few minutes, lets get down to the gates and meet our daughter."

They had her wrapped in a grey blanket, which seemed appropriate because everything about those people was grey. Not to be cruel, because I am sure that looking after a baby at their age had robbed them of a great deal of sleep, and the whole situation, a great deal of their peace of mind; but Narcissa's family looked almost ghoulish. We were all polite, but they didn't seem interested in hanging around long enough for us to change our minds, and they hadn't even bothered to bring a bag of things for Delphinia with them, so we made our visit short.

The eldest wizard handed over the bundle to Draco, with a curt nod, and not even so much as a thank you; though I suppose he didn't care one way or the other about what happened to the child, as long as someone was caring for her. I didn't want to blame him for his sentiments, but I did, so I stayed quiet.

Minerva received the most sincere greeting, and thanks for her role in sorting out 'the whole unfortunate situation'. I'd stopped paying attention to them by then and was watching Draco, who had peeled back the blanket a little bit to look into the baby's face. Her eyes were closed, with long lashes draped over them and her little mouth really did look like a little pink bow; lips pursed together trembling only slightly against the cool breeze.

"Perhaps we should go Draco?" I said to him softly. Being beyond the gates of Hogwarts we could disapparate easily back to 12G. He nodded his head, and then looked back up at the three assembled professors.

"Good Luck to you Mr. Malfoy." Minerva said, in her efficient but sincere tone.

Aurora Sinistra took a step forward to look down at Delphinia, and then smiled and offered Draco a gentle embrace around his shoulders.

"You are doing a wonderful thing here Draco." She whispered to him, not so quietly that I could not hear. "And I will see you both again soon." She stepped back to allow Daniel to come over.

"If you two need anything you have only to ask. And I'll see you back in class on Tuesday then Harry." He bent down and kissed Delphinia's little forehead. "And I will see you in class in a few years. I imagine you'll have all the talents of your fathers by then."

Our things having gone on ahead, it was just the three of us, and holding onto Draco's shoulders I took us all back home.

I shouldn't have been surprised at what we found when we got there; I mean Kreacher's talents have always amazed me, and they did again on that day. He met us at the garden door, and we walked into a warm house, coffee brewing on the stove and a bottle of formula warming beside it. The grin on his face as held his arms out for the bundle Draco was still carrying was so tender and sweet that it hardly seemed congruous on a house elf's face. I don't mean that in a bad way either.

Draco passed her over very carefully and shrugged out of his traveling cloak. I hung both of ours up and followed him, Kreacher and Delphinia into the sitting room where Kreacher had laid her down in a white basket now appeared on the floor. He unwrapped her, sniffed at the grey blanket and tossed it into a corner. I never saw it again. Instead he drew a clean white quilt over her little body, and handed her back to Draco as she began to wake and squirm, running then to fetch the tray with her bottle and our coffees perched upon it.

"Baby Phinny will be hungry master Draco. This will make her happy."

Draco offered her the bottle, and without even opening her eyes her little mouth latched onto it and a quiet sucking sound began as the squirming ceased.

"See, baby Phinny is happy, now master Harry will come and see the nursery Kreacher has made."

In less than a day Kreacher had managed to repaint the room where Molly and Arthur had stayed a light shade of pink and green, and the furniture was rearranged to open up space to hold a beautiful crib with a sparkling mobile, a change table and a rocking chair.

"Where?" I began to ask.

"The attic, many things for babies stored away up there. Kreacher has cleaned everything, and made it new, and now ready for baby Phinny."

"Draco is going to love it."

"Miss Molly has also sent bundles of clothing for the little one and special formula and baby things. All is put away in the dressers and closets."

I was nearly ready to cry, and I did when Draco came up the stairs holding the baby, bottle still firmly held in her little mouth. His own features began to tremble when he took in everything, and I had to help guide him to the rocking chair where he sat to finish feeding our daughter. He kept shaking his head in disbelief.

Delphinia made a happy little gurgle sound, and pushed the now empty bottle out of her mouth. Then she opened her eyes and looked right at Draco, cooing all the while.

"Baby is happy here, Kreacher knows, Kreacher tended to many babies here. Has lots of experience. Let Kreacher take her now, and dress her in nicer clothes and clean her up." Draco handed her back and Kreacher set to work; his love for her was as obvious as Draco's and I felt a little better about having to leave them both each day for classes as I watched them.

"Baby Phinny will grow up to be happy little miss here, Kreacher will see to that." He muttered to her as he tucked her feet into little booties. "Now Kreacher will show you all around your new house." And off they went.

I looked at Draco, and he looked back at me and I invited him into my arms where I held him for a very long time as he cried, well, as we cried together.


	53. Chapter 53

I know it's been a protracted journey, and thanks to those of you who hung on till the end. I hope you've enjoyed the story, as much as I have loved creating it.

Cheers,

Merick

Chapter Fifty-Three

"You'll never catch me Daddy!" The squealing ball of pink robes flew past my office doorway, Draco in hot pursuit. I put down my quill and rolled up the scroll I'd been working on. I knew the chance of me getting any of my letters completed before the party started was just about nil. And I really didn't mind.

I could hardly believe that she was turning five years old. I didn't know where the time had gone since we'd brought her home. I'd missed out on a lot in the first year, trying to finish up my schooling. There had been more nights than I cared to remember when all I saw of Phinny and Draco were their heads, unmoving on the pillows of the bed in the master bedroom. But Kreacher was always up when I came home, and he always had something prepared for me to eat, and a detailed run down, in his efficient sort of way, of all the goings on of the day passed.

I had been determined to make up for the time, but Auror training began shortly after my NEWTS were done, and again I was coming in at all hours of the night. Draco never complained, and neither did Phinny. At least as she passed her first birthday she was sleeping through the night, and with Kreacher taking care of her bedtimes Draco wasn't nearly as exhausted as he had been that first six months. That meant that there had been time for me to thank him properly for everything he was doing for our daughter. We'd been granted full custody of her after the first six months, when it became clear that Narcissa wasn't coming back. Draco had insisted that she take my last name; I know it was partly because he was afraid that she would be branded with the fear that still swirled around the Malfoy or Black names. Having Potter as a surname would serve her well he reasoned, and it secretly thrilled me; well maybe not so secretly. We never spoke of Narcissa again in the house. If Phinny asked, we had agreed we'd tell her about her mom, but we hoped that would be a few years away yet.

So Phinny Potter had grown up surrounded by her two Dads, never questioning the sense of it, and one loyal Nanny in the form of Kreacher, who denied her nothing. Draco was always Daddy, and me, I was Dada. The pink blur went by my door again, but no Draco. I wrinkled my brow and got up out of my chair to go and search for him. I found him, collapsed in a wing chair in the sitting room, eyes closed, though not asleep. He must have heard me come in.

"We must be insane Harry." It was a statement and not a question.

"Quite possibly." I put a hand on his head and marveled at how wonderful he looked to me. He'd kept his hair long, though he didn't hide behind it any longer. He wore it tied back with a lace; a habit he'd had to develop when Phinny started grabbing at it. I thought it made his blue eyes stand out even more, and the pale cheekbones; though just then they looked a little red from chasing our little girl. All very fetching on him, and they put me in mind of other less parental exertions that also colored them.

I leaned over and kissed him, and felt his hand wrap around my neck to make sure I stayed close for a protracted kiss from him. He'd only gotten more and more attractive to me over the years; with every late night he'd welcomed me home to our bed, and every morning I got to wake up with him. There had been times I'd had to be away; the Aurors were still as busy as ever, with folks seeing Dark magic in every twisted fence post and storm cloud, but he'd never said a word in anger or fatigue. Being a parent suited him in every way.

It was Draco who had accompanied Phinny to the neighborhood preschool, and who had enrolled her in the Muggle playgroups. The mothers there thought he was an angel; a young dad, so involved with his daughter. Not that he made any secret of me, if they asked. Most didn't, they sent home cookies. The first few batches had annoyed Kreacher, but he learnt quickly, that treats he didn't have to bake were pretty good too. And it prompted him to start baking ones for the fundraisers, which only increased our little family's status on the block.

Of course Phinny had her wizarding friends too, and that was who were due today. As much as Phinny loved her Muggle friends she knew it would be hard to have them over, and exclude her third Daddy, Kreacher. Perhaps next year we'd have some sort of party with the Muggle children, an outing to a park, but this year it was Teddy and James; Ron and Hermione's first and the Weasley Aunties and Uncles, and Uncle Daniel as well. She wasn't going to suffer for attention, that was certain.

A knock on the door interrupted my reminiscing and pulled me finally away from the embrace I was sharing with Draco. Phinny flew by again; did that girl ever slow down?

"They're here!" Was the squeal we heard as she rounded the corner.

"Time to get up Dragon."

"Do I have to?"

""S'pose not, I could eat all the cake myself."

"Fine, play dirty." He hoisted himself out of his chair giving me a squeeze as he passed me and went to greet our guests.

Many presents, drinks and sugary treats later we were left with one very tired little girl, falling asleep in her Daddy's arms. Draco took her up to her room; I brought up the presents she refused to be parted from and placed them within her reach or at least her view for the breakable ones. Then I kissed her little forehead, got a hug and a whispered 'I love you Dada' before she finally gave up holding her little eyes opened.

Draco and I stood in the doorway to her room, also pink at her insistence and watched her cuddle into her blanket; a gift from Molly. She'd been Phinny's honorary Grandmother almost since we'd brought her home. I was certain she'd already started her House scarves, even though she was years away from Hogwarts, and the sorting hat.

"Come on, let's go to bed lover." Draco wrapped his hand around my waist and tugged at me. I was happy to let him lead me up the stairs to our room. Kreacher waved at us from the landing, doing his last check of the house for hidden glasses and crumbs. He was always happy now, never without a grin for everyone. My house, our house was such a wonderful place to be in, I loved it. It was exactly as I imagined a family home would be, not what I'd had, not what Draco had had, but it was what our daughter needed.

"You've had this silly grin on your face for hours Harry, what's up?" Draco was unbuttoning his shirt but looking at me.

"I'm just happy Draco."

"Never would have imagined this five years ago eh Harry?"

"Not if Dumbledore himself had told me it was going to be so." I tossed my own sweater into the laundry hamper, noticing pink frosting on my sleeve that I hadn't seen before. I shook my head at it, same grin on my face obviously.

"I love you." Warm arms encircled me again, and I allowed myself to be drawn into an embrace, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too Draco."

"Come to bed." There wasn't anything I wanted more just then, than to be wrapped up in my lover's body, so I followed him, collapsing onto the feather duvet with a silly laugh.

Five years, wow, maybe it was time we had another? But I guess that's another story.


End file.
